Monday, May 9, 2016

Chrissy Teigen Shows Off Post-Baby Body, Reminds Us That Life Is Cruel

Everyone woman deserves to feel beautiful.


It’s just incredibly unfair when one looks this beautiful after having a child.



I won’t knock the sisterhood.  I won’t!


Except…look at Chriss Teigen’s body!  Did she blink and POOF…Gone is any evidence of 9 months of gestation?


What sorcery is this?!


Last month, Teigen gave birth to Luna Simone Stephens, her first child with husband, John Legend.


Little Luna weighed 6 lbs, 11oz at her time of birth.


“She’s here!” Teigen announced via Instagram.


“Luna Simone Stephens, we are so in love with you! And sleepy. Very sleepy.”


Yesterday, Teigen celebrated her first Mother’s Day as a new mama, and even got to work making food (John, we’re going to have to speak to you about this.  The woman should be lounging on a divan, holding a crystal glass full of sparkling water).


“Mother’s Day Brunch – low and slow scrambled eggs, chicken and waffles and roasted bacon, oh my!” the amateur chef posted.


Ok, she’s making a meal for her family.  Great.


BUT LET US PLEASE ADDRESS HOW AMAZING SHE LOOKS.



In other Teigen news, some Twitter trolls weren’t pleased to learn that she took a night off from motherhood to dine with Legend.


The new parents dined at The Nice Guy in West Hollywood, a no-no by the peanut gallery’s standards.


“The spotlight pull be strong,” one user sniped


“One week. Who wants to leave a one week old baby to go to a bar?”


Another was equally obnoxious.


“She’s hitting the streets already???? Damn these so called celebrities want to show off so bad after giving birth,” another chimed in.


“Spend bonding time with your baby and not let the nanny or babysitter raise them!”


This next one is next-level TMI.


“You bleed a few weeks and the smell is horriffic!” wrote another.


“Even with a shower you have an after birth smell. I would never leave my baby after a week.”


That’s excellent for you.


Teigen is obviously smitten with her little girl, and her doctor must have given her the green light to go out for a change of scenery and a nice meal that doesn’t involve holding a newborn while shoving Pringles into one’s mouth before she wakes up again.


So everyone just shut up and marvel at Teigen’s figure.