Tuesday, June 7, 2016

The Bachelorette Recap: The Wrath of Chad Johnson

You don’t need The Bachelorette spoilers to tell you that as JoJo Fletcher’s journey continues, tensions will rise and drama will escalate.


Especially when you factor in the ticking time bomb that is Chad Johnson and the proverbial fuse that has been lit and is ready to explode.



When The Bachelorette Season 12 Episode 3 got underway, we knew Chad wanted to pretty much wreck everyone, but not like this.


Not this intensely. Not this soon. Don’t take steroids, kids.


This week, JoJo Fletcher went on two one-on-one dates and one group date, and most of the action was pretty uncomfortable at best.


Chase and JoJo went on a yoga date, for example, that forced the couple to get much closer than they otherwise would have (yet).


It was also just weird. “Everything about this date is so awkward. I feel like I want to die right now I’m so embarrassed,” JoJo lamented.


At least he rolled with it like a good sport, and Fletcher gave Chase a rose, and Lady Antebellum’s Charles Kelley performed, obviously.


On the other one-on-one date, James and JoJo kicked it old school with swing dancing, and he managed to stay out of the friend zone.


At least for the time being. And now for the Chad …



Johnson’s name was on a list for a group date with Jordan, Grant, Wells, James F., Christian, Ali, Daniel, Vinny, Nick B., Evan, and Alex.


He was pissed. Then Jordan Rodgers said Chad would be better at a physical challenge than a mental one, and he was more pissed.


“You’re a 27-year-old failed football player,” Johnson told Aaron Rodgers’ brother in a simple but potent zinger that hits close to home.


Chad also asked Alex and Jordan if they wanted to step outside, which would be noteworthy enough, but things only got more absurd.


The group did a live theater show and shared their craziest and most cringe-worthy sex stories, which obviously made Chad … angry. 


“Sex is something that you keep to yourself,” he said.


“(JoJo Fletcher) hasn’t earned that yet.”


Really bruh?



Then Evan decided to poke fun at Chad during his stand-up comedy performance and discuss the dangers of steroid abuse. Oh s–t.


Moments later, Chad pulled Evan’s shirt, punched a door, pushed Evan, and threatened him as Daniel urged Chad to dial it down a bit.


When Evan tried to talk to Chad, Johnson wasn’t having it, telling him to step off. Evan then decided, obviously, to tell JoJo about it.


He said didn’t feel good staying if Chad was there; JoJo gave Evan a rose, which he accepted despite her not promising to boot Chad.


Later, Evan told Chris Harrison about Johnson as well, resulting in the show’s venerable host-pimp pulling the season’s villain aside.


Chris wasn’t kicking him off the program, he insisted, but giving him the chance to go settle this and move on with his head held high.


Chad’s response?


Threatening all the guys’ lives basically to the cameras and setting us up for an epic part two of this epic reality TV event this evening.


That’s all she wrote until then, folks. As always, you can watch The Bachelorette online to get up to speed and see it all in its entirety.