Showing posts with label Drunk. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drunk. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

29 Funniest Drunk People in Internet History


It"s important to drink responsibly.


If you are planning to get behind the wheel of a car, that is.


But we"d like to thank the following individuals for drinking so irresponsibly, remaining safe… and offering up hilarious evidence of what happens when someone doesn"t know when to stop.


Consider these photos, texts and stories to be cautionary tales.


Or, you know, just good old fashioned funny Internet fodder…




1. Where are You?!?


Where are you

Wait… where am I?



2. Is Your Roommate Will Hunting?


Is your roommate will hunting

Or some other drunken genius?



3. I Think She’s Drunk at Least


I think shes drunk at least

It’s hard to tell.



4. Oh Yeah, Sober Steve?!?


Oh yeah sober steve

I’ll show you.



5. Why Did I Oversleep?!?


Why did i oversleep

I set my alarm. So annoying!



6. Why Did I Have a Stingray Costume Sitting Around?


Why did i have a stingray costume sitting around

Don’t worry about it.


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Monday, November 20, 2017

Malia Obama: Drunk and Stoned at Harvard Football Game?

Well, it’s Thanksgiving on Thursday, and some of you may be feeling like you’re walking into the annual dinner table political debate with a depleted arsenal.


After all, ISIS hasn’t been defeated in 30 days; Obamacare is still the law of the land; our borders remain wall-less; and our totally emotionally-stable president has declared war on Marshawn Lynch and Lavar Ball.


But don’t worry, you can always divert attention away from the issues by focusing on the fact that … college kids are getting drunk!



Yes, Malia Obama (or Obummer, if you’re so inclined! Derp!) is a student at Harvard now, which means that instead of engaging in activities that are appropriate for presidential offspring (colluding with foreign dictators, slaughtering elephants for fun, etc.), she’s busy hitting the books.


But while Malia’s more studious than, say, Eric Trump, who we hear isn’t allowed to use paste without supervision, she’s still a 19-year-old girl, so it’s no surprise that she likes to occasionally cut loose.


Sadly, instead of enjoying wholesome activities like sliding into the Kremlin’s DMs or cramming a tusk into her carry-on, Malia is drinking, hooking up with dudes, and yes … puffing on the devil’s lettuce.


In short, Malia has been “partying,” and for some reason, that’s being treated as news.



According to TMZ, Malia was spotted making out with some guy while tailgating before this weekend’s Harvard-Yale football game.


Other reports are taking things a step further, with claims that Malia acted “pretty drunk” at the game.


One witness even claims she was spotted smoking weed outside a pizza place prior to the big game, which is literally the most college thing we’ve ever heard.


As folks who creepily fixate on the private lives of teenage girls can tell you, this isn’t the first time that Malia’s been spotted–in the words of one witness–“living her best life.”


Over the summer, Malia went to Lollapalooza, where she puffed on some jazz cabbage and danced with her friends, like she was some sort of college kid at a music festival or something.



So there you have it, folks.


Come Thursday, when your sicko lib-cuck nephew is asking you to pass the tofurkey, you can inform him that he supports the party of degeneracy.


Of course, it’s possible you’ll have choked to death on your Stove Top by then, what with having been forced to suffer the sight of kneeling football players and grimace your way through pre-meal prayers that don’t end with a rousing chant of “merry Christmas!”


Stay strong out there, patriots!



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Wednesday, November 8, 2017

"All My Children" Star Shane McDermott Busted for Drunk in Public

“All My Children” star Shane McDermott was on the run from cops — literally — but they were gonna let him go, until he demanded they arrest him. Brilliant! Cops in Galveston, TX tell us … Shane was drinking early Sunday morning at a bar and…


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"All My Children" Star Shane McDermott Busted for Drunk in Public

“All My Children” star Shane McDermott was on the run from cops — literally — but they were gonna let him go, until he demanded they arrest him. Brilliant! Cops in Galveston, TX tell us … Shane was drinking early Sunday morning at a bar and…


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Monday, November 6, 2017

Johnny Depp: Drunk and Disorderly on the Red Carpet?!

Johnny Depp’s pubilc image has quite a beating over the past year. 


The man who used to be Hollywood’s most beloved weirdo is now viewed by many as an unstable, abusive alcoholic.



The rumors of Depp routinely crossing the line while hammered have been circulating for years, but many attributed the reports to fans confusing Jack Sparrow with the actor who portrayed him.


Unfortunately, these days, there’s plenty of reason to believe Depp always knows the location of the nearest barrel of rum.


The revelations began during Depp’s messy divorce from Amber Heard, who alleged that the 54-year-old often became abusive during drinking binges.


Shortly thereafter, Johnny was sued by his management team, and court documents included a number of wild accusations, including the claim that Depp spends $ 30,000 a month on wine.


Understadably, Depp’s been keeping a low profile lately, but over the past week, he’s been forced to emerge from his ’47 Bordeaux coma long enough to promote Murder on the Orient Express.



Not surprisingly, there have been reports that Depp hasn’t exactly been tee-total on during interviews and red carpet events.


Over the weekend, Johnny was in London for the film’s UK premiere and witnesses say he was barely able to stand upright while posing for photographers.


According to The Sun, Depp’s bender began the night before the premiere:


“Johnny was having big old night and was told off for smoking three times while inside,” one insider tells the tabloid.


“He was annoyed people were staring at him too. But on the night of the premiere, he was in a strange mood and everyone thought he’d been drinking.”



The source adds that Depp was heard lamenting his split from Heard, as well as the subsequent damage to his reputation.


“You can see why there are still some serious fears about his well-being,” the tipster claims.


Obviously, reports of this nature from UK tabloids are to be taken with several grains of salt, but photos from the event do show Depp looking a little unsteady on his feet.


Maybe he’s still sporting sea legs from his last outing as Captain Jack.



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Friday, November 3, 2017

Fetty Wap Arrested for Drunk Driving, Drag Racing

Fetty Wap was just arrested for drunk driving after cops saw him racing another driver at breakneck speeds … law enforcement sources tell TMZ. Fetty was driving on a highway in New York City just after 1 AM Friday when cops saw him drag racing on…


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Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Kourtney Kardashian: Scott Disick Is Too Drunk to See the Kids!

Scott Disick isn"t the only member of the extended Kardashian clan who knows how to party–he"s just the only one who"s currently partying his way into an early grave.


If you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians online, you know that Kourtney has been turning up a bit in Scott"s absence.


Not only are we finally getting to see the early days of Kourtney"s relationship with Younes Bendjima, we"re also getting see a bit of the the mother of three"s wild side.



Recently we got to see Kourtney take a trip to Mexico, where she downed one (or five) margaritas too many and wound up yacking in her bed at the hotel.


“How is it that she’s allowed to throw up in bed and I have to go to rehab if I do something like that?” a befuddled Scott asked upon learning of the incident.


Well, Scott, if Kourt were doing that on a regular basis, she probably would be headed to rehab.


Dicisk was openly conflicted about his ex"s newfound taste for hard-partying, telling the cameras:


“Kourtney having a good time makes me happy,” he said.



“But of course, in the back of my heart and mind I get a little jealous, because I wish we could have had some of those times while we were together.”


But if he was hoping that Kourtney would be more tolerant toward his own boozy ways now that she"s been letting her hair down a bit, Scott has another thing coming.


Check out the preview clip below to see what Kourtney has to say about Scott"s drinking and the ways in which it impacts his relationship with his kids:


Kourtney kardashian scott disick is too drunk to see the kids
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Thursday, October 12, 2017

Macklemore Car Crash, Drunk Driver Blood Alcohol Twice the Legal Limit

The guy who collided head-on with Macklemore had a blood alcohol level more than twice the legal limit … TMZ has learned.  Jake Pitcher’s BAC was .19% according to police docs — and that was nearly 2 hours after the accident!…


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Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Jahlil Okafor on Fight Video: I Was Mad We Sucked ... and Drunk

Jahlil Okafor is opening about his infamous ’15 streetfight in front of a Boston nightclub — saying he lost his cool hours after the 76ers blew their chance to finally win a game that season.  TMZ Sports broke the story … Okafor went on a…


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Friday, October 6, 2017

TMZ Live: Lindsay Lohan: Senator Takes Drunk Dig

ON TODAY’S SHOW Nene Leakes At War With Kim Zolciak! Music Festivals: Future Threats Of Violence Donald Trump Mocks Puerto Rico  Sheryl Crow: Gun Laws Need To Change 


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Lindsay Lohan, Senator"s Snarky Drunk Dig to Trigger Lawsuit

Michael and Dina Lohan plan to sue a U.S. senator who conjured up Lindsay’s drunken past to lash out at a CEO. The incident went down at a congressional hearing Wednesday as the Senate Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee grilled…


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Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Cops: Alex Morgan Was Super Drunk, "I Know the SWAT Team!"

Alex Morgan was “highly impaired” and yelling at Disney staffers in front of guests when she was thrown out of Epcot Center on Sunday … this according to the incident report obtained by TMZ Sports.  We broke the story, Morgan, along with…


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Monday, September 18, 2017

Wayne Rooney Convicted of Drunk Driving, Gets 2-Year Driving Ban

Soccer superstar Wayne Rooney has apologized for driving drunk during a Sept. 1 incident — after officials say he was more than THREE TIMES the legal limit. As we previously reported, the English soccer legend was pulled over in Cheshire, England…


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Tuesday, September 5, 2017

ESPN"s Ryen Russillo On Drunk Arrest: "I Embarrassed Myself"

Ryen Rusillo says he deserved the week long suspension he got from ESPN following his drunk arrest in Wyoming — admitting he embarrassed himself and the network. The ESPN host returned to his TV/Radio show on ESPNews on Tuesday and started by…


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Rod Stewart Defends Wayne Rooney After Drunk Driving Arrest, "We All Make Mistakes"

Don’t villanize Wayne Rooney after his drunk driving arrest — he’s a good dude — so says Rod Stewart.  The British rock legend — who’s a HUUUGE soccer fan — was leaving Catch in L.A. over the weekend when we asked about the biggest…


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Friday, September 1, 2017

Wayne Rooney Arrested for Drunk Driving in VW Beetle

Soccer legend Wayne Rooney was arrested for drunk driving in England on Friday morning after cops stopped the superstar behind the wheel of a black VW beetle.  The 31-year-old pulled over the Everton striker around 2 AM in Cheshire (North West…


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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Kailyn Lowry: My Drunk Mom Doesn"t Care About My Baby!

If you’re a Teen Mom 2 fan, then by now, you’ve probably heard the news that Kailyn Lowry has welcomed her third child.


In social media messages to fans, Kailyn has confirmed that she’s overjoyed by the news, but has also confessed that there’s a bittersweet quality to her life these days.



For one thing, Kailyn is now a single mother of three, which is a daunting undertaking for anyone at any stage of life.


Kailyn and Chris Lopez broke up shortly after she learned that she was pregnant, and to make matters worse, it seems Lopez has no interest in being a dad.


There was a brief period of time when it seemed he’d had a change of heart, and Kailyn gleefully reported that Lopez would play a role in his son’s life.


Now, however, sources close to Lowry say Lopez is already failing fulfill his obligations as a father.


To make matters worse, Kailyn doesn’t have much else in terms of a support system.


She has a handful of close friends, but she’s long been estranged from her mother, whom she cut ties with after Suzi Irwin allegedly got drunk while babysitting Lowry’s son Lincoln.



Suzi hasn’t really been a presence on Teen Mom ever since her falling out with Kailyn, and naturally, many fans are curious as to whether she’ll play any role in the life of her newest grandchild.


Sadly, Lowry says it doesn’t look as though her mother has any intention of changing her ways.


Asked by a fan if Suzy has met Kailyn’s new baby (whose name remains unknown), Lowry tweeted simply:


“Tried to contact her about her new grandson but I got nothing.”


Yeesh. Several of the stars of the Teen Mom franchise have less-than-stellar parents, but refusing to even meet your baby grandson is a kind of coldness that we don’t even like to contemplate.



Kailyn spoke of her past difficulties with her mother in a 2014 interview:


“We don’t talk,” she said at the time. “I took Lincoln to her house and Javi doesn’t know about this so that’s why I don’t want to talk about it. I came back two hours later and she was trashed.”


Kailyn says her mother’s alcoholism dates back to when she was a child, and that while she doesn’t blame her mother for her disease, she also sees her as a force of chaos and a potential danger to young children.


“She would get drunk and drive with me and stuff,” Lowry said.


“But she didn’t do it because she wanted to hurt me, she did it because she was sick.”


Watch Teen Mom 2 online for more on the difficult life of Ms. Lowry.



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Thursday, August 24, 2017

Catelynn Lowell & Tyler Baltierra: Caught Getting Drunk and Endangering Daughter?

Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra have long been regarded as the Teen Mom frianchise’s most stable couple.


Together since high school, the 25 year olds have faced a number of challenges together, including reluctantly putting their first child up for adoption.



Last week, Catelynn and Tyler met up with their first child, whom they hadn’t seen in over two years.


The couple was praised for their efforts to keep young Carly in their lives and working with her adoptive parents in order to make it possible.


This week, however, Catelynn and Tyler’s parenting is receiving a wealth of attention for a very different reason.


On the show that made them famous, the Baltierras have demonstarated a consistent dedication to providing the best possible life for 2-year-old Novalee.


However, the couple’s latest social media posts offered evidence of a major lapse in that dedication.


For reasons that are clear only to him, Tyler recently uploaded a number of Snapchat posts that show him and Catelynn funneling booze in front of Novalee.



To the chagrin of many fans, little Nova was playing in a pool in the distance while her parents sucked down large quantities of beer.


“Playing by a pool while her parents are beer bonging,” commented one irate follower.


“Great job. Let’s suck down alcohol while my daughter is watching,” wrote another.


Sadly, the bad decision making continued from there.


Catelynn and Tyler then took the party to a new location, piling into a car with a driver who, as many fans pointed out, appeared to be highly intoxicated.


There’s no indication of Nova’s whereabouts in these later videos, and thankfully, she doesn’t appear to be in the car.



The footage is especially troubling as Catelynn checked herself into rehab just last year, citing emotional difficulties and “psychological drud dependencies.”


Alcohol was reportedly not her drug of choice, but it’s probably still best that she refrain from heavy drinking for the time being.


Especially in the presence of her very young daughter.


Catelynn and Tyler have yet to respond to the uproar over their behavior, but fans have made it clear these two have some explaining to do.


Watch Teen Mom: OG online for more highly questionable parenting.



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Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Usain Bolt Gets Drunk with Hot GF, Body Shots Ensue

Nothing makes a busted hamstring feel better than champagne and shots … just ask Usain Bolt, who hit the club HARD Monday night with his insanely attractive girlfriend.  The Jamaican superstar hit up the famous Cirque le Soir nightclub in…


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Monday, July 31, 2017

Scott Disick Drunk at a Bar: I Want My Dick Sucked!

If you’ve been trying to tell yourself that Scott Disick’s recent string of behavior has all just been an act or some sort of self-parody … prepare for a rude awakening.


Not only does this report say that he was sloppy drunk in public, but it sounds like the guy who claims that he’s not a sex addict was coming across as desperate — at best —  for sex from total strangers.


This guy needs help.



So, as we know, Scott Disick has been drinking and partying to excess on a well-publicized bender that’s basically lasted all year.


Part of that has just been constant drinking to excessive levels.


Scott reportedly only stays sober around his three kids.


Another huge part of that is chasing very, very young models.


All of this would be fine — he isn’t cheating on Kourtney — if he weren’t a father with actual responsibilities.


This is all being publicized, so even if his kids are sheltered from this now, they’ll have to learn about their father’s ridiculous antics eventually.


(Mason is already seven! That’s old enough to pick up on a little news or notice a story in a magazine at a friend’s house)


And then there’s the grim reality that Scott’s ever-intensifying spiral of behavior could result in his death.


That could impact his children for life.


Some children end up following in their parent’s footsteps in the worst way, sometimes in an effort to understand them.


This can’t really be what Scott wants for his children, can it?



In this vicious cycle of self-loathing followed by drinking and then more bad behavior that prompts more self-loathing, Scott seems to be blaming it all on how much he misses Kourtney.


Well, according to what a witness told The Daily Mail, Scott Disick’s behavior is now out of control in ways that impact other people.


Recently, he was at a Hamptons bar and it sounds like he’s lost all semblance of self-control.


“He was sloppy drunk.”


In public? That’s not good. Even at a bar.


Like, this isn’t college — being sloppy drunk around people like this is not a great sign.


But it gets worse.


“At one point he just walked over to two girls and started grabbing them.”


We hear that when you’re a celebrity, they just let you do it.


(We don’t know where he grabbed or if there was consent or not based upon this source’s story, but that could potentially land Scott in legal trouble)


“Then screamed out: ‘I want my dick sucked!"”


Ugh.


Honestly, we’ve been around our share (more than our share) of out-of-control drunk people.


We have never once heard a grown-ass adult yell about wanting oral attention.


That’s usually a frustration that’s going to be expressed by someone who is, like, 12.


And, for the record, that’s sexual harassment in its own right.


It really sounds like Scott needs to get a grip.



Basically, Scott’s behavior is getting worse.


At the risk of sounding like one of those cult-like 12-step programs (we’re not saying that they don’t work for some people, we’re just saying that they’re creepy and not for everyone), sooner or later, Scott is going to hit rock bottom.


It could be that he just wakes up one morning and realizes that he can’t keep doing this or, as his friends fear, he’ll drink himself to death.


It could be worse, though.


Before he reaches that point of realization, Scott might just die.


He could also end up hurting someone else.


For the sake of his kids, we really hope that he’s not too far gone to 



A truly horrible thought occurs to us.


Let’s say that Scott never gets past this.


That he never gets bad enough to receive a wake-up call and either survives or doesn’t.


Think of the number of young women of varying levels of fame he keeps hooking up with — he really seems to be into 19-year-olds at the moment.


What if, in a few years, one of his kids is watching a movie or whatever and they develop a crush, and it turns out to be on, say, Bella Thorne?


You know what, we don’t even want to think about that.


Scott might never get back with Kourtney, but he could at least be there for his kids.


And not be a source of embarrassment or lifelong sorrow for them as they grow up.


Come on, dude.



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