Thursday, October 22, 2015

Pippa Middleton: Broke, Undateable, Moving to America?!

The past few months have been rough on poor Pippa Middleton.


Kate’s younger sister went from being the toast of London to an international punchline thanks to rumors about her inability to stick with a job or a relationship.



The latest round of negative Pippa press began after her highly-publicized breakup with Nico Jackson. 


The couple had dated for several years and were rumored to be on the verge of getting engaged, but it all fell apart after several media outlets alleged that Pippa had been cheating on Nico


The British tabloids had a field day with the breakup, reporting that Pippa is depressed, unemployed and at her wits’ end.


Now, they’re taking things a step further, claiming that Pippa is undateable, unable to find a publisher for the book she’s writing, and totally reliant upon her sister for money.


“It’s just completely impossible to date that poor girl,” a source tells The Daily Beast.


“Nobody wants to go out with her because you will just end up getting pursued by the press. It’s a complete nightmare for her. She has all the disadvantages of being a royal, but none of the protection that her sister gets.”


The source goes on to say that Pippa has been unable to hack it as a writer for the simple fact that she’s just not talented:


“It is very clear from her poor newspaper and magazine journalism that Pippa is not actually a very good writer—but frustratingly for publishers she also won’t accept the services of a ghost. Ultimately, this is the reason why no new deal has yet been signed.”


The insider claims things have gotten so bad that Pippa is planning to permanently move to America as a means of starting over.


Unfortunately, she may not have better luck finding suitable employment in the States. Remember when Pippa was hired by the Today show and then quietly fired last year?


Yeah, neither does anyone else. She lasted about a week.