Did you want to hear Snooki tell the story of the loss of her virginity when you got up this morning? OMG of course you did, so we’re here to help!
Not only did the Princess of Poughkeepsie give it up at age 14, there was saran wrap involved … we’ll let you use your imagination there.
Oh, and Snooks’ sex partner’s penis looked like it was “mad at her.”
We don’t even know what that means, but it doesn’t sound hot.
Fortunately, she realizes that she could’ve held out and didn’t have to settle for “Bernard” (not the quote-unquote lucky guy’s real name).
“The only reason I did it was because everybody in high school was doing it, and I just wanted to fit in,” the Jersey Shore alumna reflects.
“So looking back now, looking back, I’m like ‘dammit, why did I try to be cool and do that.’ And I feel like kids still do that. Peer pressure. It’s awful.”
Truth, Nicole. Preach. Let the Millennials learn from you.
As always, with any tale from the mom of two, watching Snooki is crude and weird and obnoxious, yet you can’t help but love the authenticity.
Snooki also praised husband Jionni LaValle’s sexiness, both on a physical and personal level, subtly looking to defend her husband as usual.
Rumors of Jionni on Ashley Madison weren’t the first time he’s been accused of cheating, but if they’re on the rocks, she’s still hiding it well.
See when these other stars gave up their v-cards:
