In the modern-day fairy tale that brought together a good ol’ boy country singer with a universally-loved pop princess, a powerhouse diva has now been cast as the evil witch.
Yes, we’re speaking of The Voice coaches Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani and Christina Aguilera. Can you figure out who’s who?
Ever since Christina returned to the swiveling red chair this season, rumors have been flying that Blake was furious that she stole the spot of his honey bun Gwen and even threatened to quit if the “Beautiful” singer came back.
Of course, she did come back, and has been fulfilling her duties this season with her usual sass and random belting out of high notes during critiques.
But it’s only a temporary stay for Team Xtina. Miley Cyrus will replace her next season, and Celeb Dirty Laundry is making the overblown assumption that Blake got her fired.
“It seems a little strange after all of the drama Christina Aguilera created just to come back to The Voice, she would leave on her own accord after one season,” writes the site.
But why? Christina has come and go on numerous occasions. The show makes a point of continuously rotating the occupants of the two middle chairs, and maybe Christina has other stuff to do, like play with her kids or do a wig commercial or something.
The only two butts that seem permanently glued to the highback red thrones are Blake and his longtime brover Adam Levine, presumably because fans keep hoping they’ll make out one day.
All 10 seasons of the show’s coaching cast has unwaveringly contained the following ingredients: 1) Blake 2) Adam 3) A white woman 4) A black guy.
That’s why we’re thrilled that next season, while the rubric of positions 1 through 3 remain the same, the black guy will be replaced with… a black woman!
Yep, Alicia Keys is set to join the cast as a coach next season, upping the chance of a woman actually winning the thing from 25 percent to 50 percent.
We’re a little shocked that Blake hasn’t yet tweeted about how this Christina feud is an enormous pile of horse shadoobie, but he may be too wrapped up suing a tabloid over mailbox urination accusations.