Lindsay Lohan: Not Pregnant, Just a Liar!

The world is letting out a long sigh of relief today.

It seems that despite the actress’ previous claims to the contrary, Lindsay Lohan is not pregnant … she just likes claiming she is whenever she’s desperate for attention, You know – like a crazy person!

In case you somehow missed it, Lindsay claimed to be knocked up during a recent social media tirade.

At first, the world dismissed it as the drunken ramblings of someone who long ago went off the deep end.

But then something strange happened…

Michael Lohan confirmed the pregnancy, claiming that Lindsay spoke with him the day after her Insta-rant and verified that she was indeed expecting.

Now it seems Lindsay simply woke up still drunk the morning after, because the evidence that she’s not pregnant keeps piling up.

First, Lindsay was caught smoking by the paparazzi.

We’re not saying she isn’t foolish enough to smoke while pregnant, but after a literal lifetime in the business, we’d like to think she’s savvy enough to not get papped while doing so.

Now, Lindsay’s mom and closest confidant has confirmed that no freckly demon child shall issue forth from her daughter’s woman, as foretold in Revelation.

At least not yet, anyway.

Dina Lohan has spoken with TMZ and confirmed that Lindsay is definitely not expecting.

Apparently, she was just so angry when she thought fiance Egor Tarabasov was cheating on her that she decided to pretend she’s pregnant because … Well, that’s when all logic breaks down.

The good news is, Lindsay can now smoke and drink all she wants.

The fantastic news is, she won’t be responsible for raising another human any time soon.

View Slideshow: 29 Wackest Photos of Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan: Not Pregnant, Just a Liar!

The world is letting out a long sigh of relief today.

It seems that despite the actress’ previous claims to the contrary, Lindsay Lohan is not pregnant … she just likes claiming she is whenever she’s desperate for attention, You know – like a crazy person!

In case you somehow missed it, Lindsay claimed to be knocked up during a recent social media tirade.

At first, the world dismissed it as the drunken ramblings of someone who long ago went off the deep end.

But then something strange happened…

Michael Lohan confirmed the pregnancy, claiming that Lindsay spoke with him the day after her Insta-rant and verified that she was indeed expecting.

Now it seems Lindsay simply woke up still drunk the morning after, because the evidence that she’s not pregnant keeps piling up.

First, Lindsay was caught smoking by the paparazzi.

We’re not saying she isn’t foolish enough to smoke while pregnant, but after a literal lifetime in the business, we’d like to think she’s savvy enough to not get papped while doing so.

Now, Lindsay’s mom and closest confidant has confirmed that no freckly demon child shall issue forth from her daughter’s woman, as foretold in Revelation.

At least not yet, anyway.

Dina Lohan has spoken with TMZ and confirmed that Lindsay is definitely not expecting.

Apparently, she was just so angry when she thought fiance Egor Tarabasov was cheating on her that she decided to pretend she’s pregnant because … Well, that’s when all logic breaks down.

The good news is, Lindsay can now smoke and drink all she wants.

The fantastic news is, she won’t be responsible for raising another human any time soon.

View Slideshow: 29 Wackest Photos of Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Pops Out of Dress, Ditches Engagement Ring

After a relatively quiet period during which she all but disappeared from the tabloids, Lindsay Lohan is back and messier than ever.

It all started when Lindsay hinted that she was pregnant during a late night social media rant.

In the same tirade, LiLo accused her fiance, Egor Tarabasov, of cheating on her with a “Russian hooker.”

Shortly thereafter Lohan’s father confirmed that she’s pregnant and the world attempted to wrap its head around the idea of Lindsay freakin’ Lohan as a  mother. 

The next day photos of Lohan smoking emerged and the reaction online was mostly along the lines of, “Yeah, this is about how we thought this would go.”

Fortunately, it seems that unlike Lindsay, we can all breathe easy.

The latest news out of Europe (where Lindsay’s permanent vacation is still in full swing) is that the 30-year-old actress is not pregnant, and it also seems that she’s no longer engaged.

The pregnancy denial comes from Hofit Golan, who is not, as her name would suggest a Star Wars hero, but rather Lindsay’s bestie of the moment:

“We’ve been doing acupuncture, massage, stretching, drinking lots of green juice, exploring caves, fishing, swimming, just doing normal things,” Golan told Us Weekly.

“Lindsay and I have known each other for years and she’s a very close friend; she’s loyal and an amazing person. It’s unfortunate that other people in her life — I’m not going to name names — are confirming she’s pregnant, which she’s not.”

The tabloid also published a photo in which Lindsay is falling out of her dress and not wearing a wedding ring.

Like we said, interesting times in LiLo Land.

It’s enough to make you wonder what she’s mixing in all that green juice.

View Slideshow: 29 Wackest Photos of Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan: I"m NOT Pregnant! I"ll Smoke and Drink All I Want!

Last week, rumors that Lindsay Lohan is pregnant began to circulate online.

Unlike so many celebrity rumors, this one didn’t originate with a tabloid headline or an unsourced tweet, but with Lohan herself.

Believing that her fiance, Egor Tarabasov, was cheating on her, Lohan went on a bizarre late-night Insta-rant, but apparently felt that being the victim of infidelity wasn’t bringing her enough sympathy.

At first, the world shrugged off her tirade as the ramblings of a very pissed off (and possibly drunk) celeb.

But then Lohan’s father confirmed the pregnancy in an interview with Page Six.

Suddenly it seemed as though there might be something to her claims after all.

Yesterday, however, another development confused the hell out of everyone yet again.

Lohan was caught smoking and drinking while in vacation in … wherever the hell her endless period of unemployment has taken her these days.

Surely, even Lindsay Lohan wouldn’t be dumb enough to smoke and drink in front of a bunch of paparazzi while reportedly pregnant, right?

Well, we wouldn’t put it past her.

However, we do know that at the moment, the official word from the Lohan camp is … drum roll, please:

Lindsay is not pregnant!

The confirmation comes from Hofit Golan, who despite her name is not a creation of George R.R. Martin, but rather a “travel blogger” and friend of LiLo’s.

Hofit posted the following pro-Lindsay comment on her Instagram page today:

“#timetospeakout. There’s no truth to any of these speculations and stories . With all due respect, What you don’t see you don’t know.

“It’s about time someone stands up for a very good person, friend, daughter and fiancé @lindsaylohan (Ranjeet) “Be careful with your words…Once…they are said….They can only be Forgiven… NOT FORGOTTEN” #stopspeculating”

Fair enough, Hofit.

We’ll “#stopspeculating,” but Lindsay has to uphold her end of the bargain and stop giving us so much to speculate about.

Lindsay Lohan: I"m NOT Pregnant! I"ll Smoke and Drink All I Want!

Last week, rumors that Lindsay Lohan is pregnant began to circulate online.

Unlike so many celebrity rumors, this one didn’t originate with a tabloid headline or an unsourced tweet, but with Lohan herself.

Believing that her fiance, Egor Tarabasov, was cheating on her, Lohan went on a bizarre late-night Insta-rant, but apparently felt that being the victim of infidelity wasn’t bringing her enough sympathy.

At first, the world shrugged off her tirade as the ramblings of a very pissed off (and possibly drunk) celeb.

But then Lohan’s father confirmed the pregnancy in an interview with Page Six.

Suddenly it seemed as though there might be something to her claims after all.

Yesterday, however, another development confused the hell out of everyone yet again.

Lohan was caught smoking and drinking while in vacation in … wherever the hell her endless period of unemployment has taken her these days.

Surely, even Lindsay Lohan wouldn’t be dumb enough to smoke and drink in front of a bunch of paparazzi while reportedly pregnant, right?

Well, we wouldn’t put it past her.

However, we do know that at the moment, the official word from the Lohan camp is … drum roll, please:

Lindsay is not pregnant!

The confirmation comes from Hofit Golan, who despite her name is not a creation of George R.R. Martin, but rather a “travel blogger” and friend of LiLo’s.

Hofit posted the following pro-Lindsay comment on her Instagram page today:

“#timetospeakout. There’s no truth to any of these speculations and stories . With all due respect, What you don’t see you don’t know.

“It’s about time someone stands up for a very good person, friend, daughter and fiancé @lindsaylohan (Ranjeet) “Be careful with your words…Once…they are said….They can only be Forgiven… NOT FORGOTTEN” #stopspeculating”

Fair enough, Hofit.

We’ll “#stopspeculating,” but Lindsay has to uphold her end of the bargain and stop giving us so much to speculate about.

Lindsay Lohan: Smoking While Pregnant?!?

Lindsay Lohan appeared to be making some progress this week.

Over the weekend, the often-troubled actress returned to making headlines for all the wrong reasons, getting into a very public fight with her fiance, Egor Tarabasov.

The world was made aware of their argument because Lohan went on an Instagram rant in which she accused Tarabasov of cheating on her with a Russian hooker.

Soon afterward, video surfaced of Lindsay and Tarabasov engaged in a screaming match outside their London apartment, one that included Lindsay yelling the following:

“Please please please. He just strangled me…He almost killed me…

“Do it. I dare you again. You’re f*****g crazy. You sick f**k. You need help. It’s my house get out of my house.”

From there, Lohan told the public to butt out of her private business, despite Lohan clearly being the one who made it public.

But then the turnaround! Then the sign of maturity!

Lohan actually apologized for her actions, writing on social media on Tuesday:

“I am taking time for myself with good friends. I am sorry that I’ve exposed certain private matters recently. I was acting out of fear and sadness… We all make mistakes.”

Fair enough, right?

HOWEVER…

The actress was spotted in a pink-and-white floral bikini while aboard a luxury yacht in Italy yesterday, soaking up the sun with friends and stirring a brand new controversy:

Witnesses say she was smoking a cigarette.

And just why is this a big deal?

Because Lohan is pregnant!

Michael Lohan confirmed this pregnancy himself, and he’s actually on good terms with his daughter these days. There’s no reason not to believe him.

If this really is the case, the following People Magazine report is very disturbing.

The online version of this publication just wrote the following, regarding Lohan on the aforementioned yacht:

Lohan was also spotted smoking cigarettes on several occasions, and walking around with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in her hand.

Lohan first sparked talk about a rumored pregnancy after she Tweeted an image of herself wearing a phony baby bump from her 2009 movie Labor Pains and captioned it with “I’m pregnant!”

The Tweet has since been deleted.

But questions remain.

Lohan’s father, then told People on Wednesday that his daughter confirmed her pregnancy news to him via text message earlier this week.

“She texted me and said [she was pregnant],” he said. “I’m going to believe what she says.”

And if this is the case, hey, more power to Lohan. We wish her luck.

And we beg her to put down the cigarettes.

View Slideshow: Lindsay Lohan Photoshop Fails: The Best of the Worst!

Michael Lohan Confirms: Lindsay Is Pregnant!

Arlighty, so Lindsay Lohan is pregnant and estranged from her Russian fiance.

The one who she claimed tried to strangle her.

Well, good news.  Lohan and Egor Tarabasov are apparently bringing new life into the world, according to her father, Michael Lohan.

Lohan spoke to Page Six TV today via Skype, confirming that his daughter is, indeed, up the duff.

“She texted it to me and told me," Michael confirmed.

"Daddy, I"m pregnant," the text read.

When asked how far along she is, Michael gave the answer every dude gives:

I don’t know [how far along she is]," he said, as if it were the most insane question he"s ever heard.

A source counters Michael"s statement.

"She is saying she is pregnant, but it could be for attention.”

As for the baby daddy, Michael is not happy.  Ever since footage of Lindsay crying for help in her London neighborhood (claiming that he  strangled her and tried to kill her) emerge, Michael wants answers.

"I want to speak to him. He hasn’t returned any calls [or] any texts … He can refute as much as he wants. I got the texts. We’ve seen the video in the press and what she said happened, happened," Michael said.

"And it’s a serious matter.”

“They can say whatever they want to say, but when someone’s going to attack my daughter and people are going to start twisting it and saying she’s a liar, I’m going to speak up for her and I’m going to defend her.

"It’s really hard especially seeing her in that video in that state of mind after being subjected to what he did — and her standing alone there, crying out for help and there’s no one there for her.”

As for sightings of Lohan smoking on her friend"s yacht, Michael said WHATEVER.

“Well, people smoke when they’re pregnant. People drink when they’re pregnant. Lindsay doesn’t drink … I’m very proud of her because through this whole thing most people might have relapsed.

"They might have had a drink or taken pills or something. She stayed clean and sober through this whole situation.”

Sooo.congrats are in order, it appears.

 

Lindsay Lohan Apologizes, Hopes to Fix Romance with Egor Tarabasov

Lindsay Lohan has realized the error of her ways.

The actress has been back in the news of late for all the wrong reasons, having gotten into a very public fight over the weekend with fiance Egor Tarabasov.

It started with Lohan writing at length on Instagram about Tarabasov allegedly cheating on her… with a Russian prostitute.

“I guess I was the same at 23…” she wrote of her younger man on Friday night, saying he was out partying and had not yet returned home.

“Sh-tty time-it changes at 26/27 @e2505t thanks for not coming home tonight. Fame changes people,” she added.

Lohan later made a specific reference to a “Russian hooker” and even included her Instagram handle as part of her rant.

A few hours after Lindsay made these comments, police were called to the couple’s London apartment.

According to various witness accounts, Lohan and Tarabasov got into a physical fight, as the former was seen screaming that the latter had strangled her and tried to kill her.

It’s safe to say the two have hit a very rough patch in their relationship.

No arrests were made, however, and Lohan eventually flew back to the United States by herself.

She also took critics to task for judging her relationship, telling people to please go mind their own business…

… even though she was the one who publicized her romantic difficulties in the first place.

And now Lohan has finally come to that realization herself.

“Dear friends. I’m good and well,” Lohan wrote yesterday on Instagram.

“I am taking time for myself with good friends. I am sorry that I’ve exposed certain private matters recently. I was acting out of fear and sadness… We all make mistakes.

“Sadly mine have always been so public.”

Lohan included the following photo with her Mea Culpa.

She also continued:

“I have done a lot of soul searching in the past years, and I should have been more clear minded rather than distract from the good heart that I have.

“Social media comes with the territory of the business and the world we now live in. My intentions were not meant to send mixed messages. Maybe things can be fixed… Maybe not.. I hope they can.

“But I am 30 years old and I do deserve a #GENTLEgiant Life is about love and light. Not anger Thank you to those who stand by my side.”

Among those standing by her side is Michael Lohan, who threatened Egor Tarabasov soon after his fight with Lohan’s daughter.

We never thought we’d say this, but we do hope Lindsay Lohan turns her life around.

As she notes, she’s only 30 years old. There’s plenty of time for a second act.

Egor Tarabasov: Threatened by Michael Lohan!

Michael Lohan is standing up for his daughter.

The way only Michael Lohan can.

Over the weekend, Lohan engaged in a very public feud and fight with fiance Egor Tarabasov.

It started with a stream of angry social media messages in which the often-troubled actress alleged that Tarabasov was cheating on her, implying at the time that she was pregnant.

“I guess I was the same at 23…” Lohan wrote of her younger man at one point, adding:

“Sh-tty time-it changes at 26/27 @e2505t thanks for not coming home tonight. Fame changes people.”

She also Tweeted: “Wow thanks #fiance with Russian hooker @dasha_pa5h.”

Things quickly escalated beyond a number of accusatory Tweets, however.

On Saturday morning, neighbors of Lohan and Tarabasov were reportedly woken up by Lohan yelling from her balcony that Tarabasov was strangling her and attempting to murder her.

The Sun even obtained a video that features a fiery exchange between Lohan and Tarabasov.

It was filmed by a witness on the scene and it depicted Lohan on her balcony, screaming to anyone within earshot.

“He tried to kill me,” Lohan says in the footage, which also featured Tarabasov trying to reason with his girlfriend and her responding as follows:

“Do it. I dare you again. You’re f-cking crazy. You sick f-ck. You need help. It’s my house get out of my house.”

Tough times for the couple, clearly.

A police spokeswoman later confirmed that authorities were called to the residence after hearing reports of “a woman in distress.”

No arrests were made, however.

Fast forward to this week, meanwhile, and TMZ has shared text messages sent by Michael Lohan to Egor Tarabasov.

They were supposedly written on Saturday night, hours after the aforementioned incident, and they included Lindsay’s father issuing many threats to her fiance.

“You threaten my daughter, touch her or if anything happens to her and you will have no where to hide mother ducked like weasel,” Michael writes at one point.

It seems pretty clear that Lindsay told her dad about what happened, prompting this barrage of texts.

Michael added such scathing, typo-filled words as:

VOME Here And Face ME like a man and bring your daddy and mommy.

Return her jewelry you broke phoney or I’ll take it out of your ass. I WILL find you.

While the relationship between Michael Lohan and Lindsay Lohan has been very strained at times, father and daughter have been on solid terms for awhile now.

In early July, Michael Tweeted at his famous child, writing: “You couldn’t possibly love you more than I love YOU!!! You look FANTASTIC.”

He also wished a “Happy and BLESSED 30th Birthday to my remarkable daughter” on July 2.

On Monday morning, Lindsay flew back to the United States from London… without Tarabasov.

She then asked for the public to butt out of her personal affairs, despite Lohan being the one who made these personal affairs very public on social media.

“I would appreciate if these speculations regarding my personal life would respectfully come to a halt,” Lohan wrote on Instagram, adding:

“Unfortunately, a private matter has become more public than I can control and I would be extremely grateful if my fiancé and myself could discuss our personal matters on our own.

“There are more important things going on in the world than our relationship. Please leave us be to solve our personal matters.”

View Slideshow: Michael Lohan: Breakin’ the Law!

Lindsay Lohan: Still Engaged, Still Confusing Fans

This past weekend was a tumultuous one for Lindsay Lohan, which is really saying something, because the girl hasn’t had a quiet weekend since she first learned that you don’t need a fake ID if you’re famous.

As all of her Instagram followers are now aware Lohan might be both pregnant and newly single. 

This information was gleaned from a series of lengthy rants in which the actress accused her fiance, Egor Tarabasov, of cheating and casually hinted that she’s expecting his child.

Shortly thereafter, shocking video of a fight between Lohan and Tarabasov emerged.

The footage shows Lohan accusing Tarabasov of strangling and attempting to kill her.

Naturally, all of this has prompted an outpouring of concern from fans.

Lindsay seemed to invite the attention at first, offering minute-by-minute updates of Tarabasov’s alleged infidelity on Instagram Saturday night.

Now, however, it seems she’s had a change of heart about once again being the subject of tabloid rumors and fan scrutiny.

Moments ago, Lohan posted the above pic to Instagram along with the following caption:

“I would appreciate if these speculations regarding my personal life would respectfully come to a halt.

“Unfortunately, a private matter has become more public than I can control and I would be extremely grateful if my fiancé and myself could discuss our personal matters on our own.

“There are more important things going on in the world than our relationship. Please leave us be to solve our personal matters.”

Normally, we’d point out the irony of Lindsay telling everyone to butt out when she’s the one who gave her 4.7 million Instagram followers a late night play-by-play of her relationship troubles, but there’s a chance that her circumstances are extremely serious, and we don’t want to make light of it.

Especially considering that this isn’t the first time Lohan has hinted at being abused by Tarabasov, we’re just hoping that the people in her life are aware of the potential severity of her situation.

Lindsay Lohan: Still Engaged, Still Confusing Fans

This past weekend was a tumultuous one for Lindsay Lohan, which is really saying something, because the girl hasn’t had a quiet weekend since she first learned that you don’t need a fake ID if you’re famous.

As all of her Instagram followers are now aware Lohan might be both pregnant and newly single. 

This information was gleaned from a series of lengthy rants in which the actress accused her fiance, Egor Tarabasov, of cheating and casually hinted that she’s expecting his child.

Shortly thereafter, shocking video of a fight between Lohan and Tarabasov emerged.

The footage shows Lohan accusing Tarabasov of strangling and attempting to kill her.

Naturally, all of this has prompted an outpouring of concern from fans.

Lindsay seemed to invite the attention at first, offering minute-by-minute updates of Tarabasov’s alleged infidelity on Instagram Saturday night.

Now, however, it seems she’s had a change of heart about once again being the subject of tabloid rumors and fan scrutiny.

Moments ago, Lohan posted the above pic to Instagram along with the following caption:

“I would appreciate if these speculations regarding my personal life would respectfully come to a halt.

“Unfortunately, a private matter has become more public than I can control and I would be extremely grateful if my fiancé and myself could discuss our personal matters on our own.

“There are more important things going on in the world than our relationship. Please leave us be to solve our personal matters.”

Normally, we’d point out the irony of Lindsay telling everyone to butt out when she’s the one who gave her 4.7 million Instagram followers a late night play-by-play of her relationship troubles, but there’s a chance that her circumstances are extremely serious, and we don’t want to make light of it.

Especially considering that this isn’t the first time Lohan has hinted at being abused by Tarabasov, we’re just hoping that the people in her life are aware of the potential severity of her situation.

Lindsay Lohan: Egor Tarabasov Strangled Me, Tried to KILL ME!

We’ve already heard rumors – thanks to a rant by the troubled star herself – that Lindsay Lohan is pregnant by her fiance Egor Tarabasov.

Now she’s upping the ante, accusing her Russian partner of violence and attempted murder (seriously).

Neighbors were reportedly jolted awake early Saturday morning by Lohan screamed from her balcony that Tarabasov strangled her, and was trying to kill her.

One neighbor captured the exchange between Lohan and Tarabasov, which was obtained by The Sun.

In the video, Lohan is seen in the corner of her balcony yelling to anyone who will listen.

“He just strangled me. He almost killed me,” Lohan claimed.

‘’Please please please. He just strangled me.”

“He almost killed me. Everybody will know,” Lohan continued, stating her address loud and clear to anyone in the street, in the hopes that someone would call the police.

“Get out of my house.’’

This went on for some time, and the video shows Tarabasov trying to reason with Lohan.

“Do it. I dare you again. You’re f*****g crazy. You sick f**k. You need help. It’s my house get out of my house,” Lohan shouted. 

View Slideshow: 29 Wackest Photos of Lindsay Lohan

“I’m done. I don’t love you anymore. You tried to kill me. You’re a f*****g psycho.  We are finished.’’

Tarabasov was inaudible, but Lohan was heard responding to his pleas.

“No Egor you’ve been strangling me constantly. You can’t strangle a woman constantly and beat the shit out of her and think it’s ok. Everybody saw you touch me.

“It’s filmed. Get out! Get out.” 

Authorities were called to the scene and had to break down the door of Lohan’s Knightsbridge home.  Once inside, the found that no one was home.

A spokeswoman confirmed:

“Police were called to an address in Knightsbridge, SW7 on Saturday, 23 July at 05:10 hours following a report of a woman in distress.”

“Officers attended and following concerns for the welfare of the occupants inside they forced entry into the address.

“There was no one inside but enquiries were made and the occupants were traced and found to be safe and well.”

This latest incident comes on the heels of Lohan blasting her fiance because he left her at home to party.

“I guess I was the same at 23…” Lohan wrote in a follow-up post.

“S—ty time-it changes at 26/27 @e2505t thanks for not coming home tonight.”

“Fame changes people.”

Indeed …

View Slideshow: 19 Disney Stars Gone Wild: They’re Not That Innocent!

Lindsay Lohan Slams Fiance for Cheating, Hints at PREGNANCY

Oh, Lindsay Lohan.

You had such a good run there of being quiet, sane and seemingly in love

On Saturday night, the often-troubled actress went on a major Twitter rant against fiance Egor Tarabasov, accusing him of cheating on her… 

… and also implying that SHE’S PREGNANT.

The problems actually began on Friday, with Lohan sharing a Snapchat video (captioned “ET phone home”) in which she said:

“My fiancé’s being really angry at me, but I’m drinking water to get him to come home. Honey, come home, please.”

A day later, Lohan really let Egor having it, posting a number of messages and pictures across Twitter and Instagram.

For instance, she posted a picture on Instagram with her man that depicted his face obscured by scribbles.

“He wore black and I wore white…” she wrote, quoting the 1966 Cher song “Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)” along with three wise monkey emojis and an anchor.

“I guess #art is whatever you make of it,” she added.

Sure. We guess so.

Several days ago, Lohan threw Tarabasov’s phone in the sea, although she later claimed it was just a joke.

“I guess I was the same at 23…” Lohan later wrote of her younger fiance. “S—ty time-it changes at 26/27 @e2505t thanks for not coming home tonight. Fame changes people.”

She wrote those words as a caption to the following image of the couple:

How did fame allegedly change him in this case?

Shorty afterwards, Lindsay shared a photo of Tarabasov at a party along with the caption:

“Wow thanks #fiance with Russian hooker @dasha_pa5h.”

(She was referring to Dasha Pashevkina, whose Instagram account has since been deleted.)

From there, the former Mean Girls star shared a video that was anything but fetch: it featured her fiancé partying and it included the message:

“Home? First time in my life-bare with he/ he cheated on me with hooker #meangirls #meanboysu b.”

An hour later, Lohan tweeted a link to pictures of herself with a baby bump from her 2009 movie Labor Pains, which is about a woman who pretends to be pregnant.

“Lindsay Lohan labour pains trainer – I am pregnant!!” she wrote.

WAIT… WHAT?!?

In late June, Lohan said she would definitely consider having kids in the future.

We know: that’s a scarier thought than Jon and Kate Gosselin getting back together to have more children.

A short while after this frightening implication, Lindsay Instagrammed and then deleted an email address and mailing address of the woman she claimed Tarabasov was with, captioning it as follows:

“It’s legal if you’re selling yourself and not a Russian from #moscow right my baby @e2505t.”

For some reason, she hashtagged Russian leader Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump with the message.

In April, Lohan got engaged to her then-22-year-old boyfriend of eight months, who gave her with a five-carat emerald ring at the time.

Now, however, it appears that he’s given her a heart attack.

And perhaps some sperm to help create a baby. Yikes.

View Slideshow: 13 Movie Stars You May Never Hear From Again

Lindsay Lohan to People of Nice & Turkey: Turn Down For What?!

Lindsay Lohan wears many hats.

She’s an Instagram model; she probably still thinks of herself as an actress – but most importantly, she’s the international peacekeeper the planet needs right now.

You may scoff, but that’s only because you haven’t read Lindsay’s 2-point plan for saving the world:

1. Fold history in half, whatever the f–k that means.

2. Get every dictator on the phone, then be all, “Turn down for what?!”

Linds posted the above photo last night (in which she tagged Victoria’s Secret), along with a caption reading:

“If history were to be folded … Where would we put the crease? Pray for the ones we lose everyday and appreciate every breathe you take #nice #turkey #turnup and do something (goodnight and sleep with an idea for the future)”

Yup. Linds is totes enlightened these days – but she’s still not great at the whole “stringing words together to make a sentence” thing.

Hilariously, now she’s dating a rich Russian guy, Linds obviously fancies herself a citizen of the world.

She’s like Bogart in Casablanca or that girl in your western civ class who did a semester abroad and came back with an accent.

Gone are the days of stumbling in and out of limos on Sunset.

Now, Lindsay throws people’s phones in the ocean while vacationing on exotic Greek islands, and she comments on world affairs just like she saw the people on the tee-vee do.

When was the last time you saw someone in Congress advise the people of Nice to turn up? Exactly.

Of course, it’s possible we’re misreading this whole thing, and Lindsay really just wants some nice turkey and turnips for dinner.

Like Ulysses, critics will be unpacking this thing for decades.

View Slideshow: 29 Wackest Photos of Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan: I Threw My Fiance"s Phone in the Ocean as a JOKE, You Guys!

In interviews from the time when people actually cared to interview her, Lindsay Lohan said she planned to win an Oscar and be married by the time she turned 30.

Well, Lohan celebrated her 30th birthday last week, and you may be shocked to hear this, but she has yet to take home an Academy Award.

She is, however, soon to be married.

Or, we should say, she’s planning on getting married, but the wedding will likely never come to pass unless she can learn to suppress her urge to, well … act like Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay is engaged to a Russian real estate agent Egor Tarabasov, who – though not a billionaire, as he’s allegedly claimed – is quite rich.

Therefore, she gets to live the life of a successful movie star despite not having been one in over a decade.

Lindsay spent her birthday partying with Egor in Mykonos, and at what point she allegedlt grabbed his phone and tossed it in the Aegean Sea.

It’s not the kind of behavior one expects when one is financing a high-end vacation in the Greek Islands, but that’s LiLo for you.

Her M.O. has remained unchanged for years:

She does some outrageous sh-t and then lies her ass off when asked about it.

Like we said, the press isn’t exactly clamoring for LiLo interviews these days, but the occasional tabloid takes a passing interest in her shenanigans, so Page Six asked her about the incident.

To the surprise of no one, Lindsay brushed it off as total BS designed to compromise her enviable career:

“It had to do with my friend throwing his phone case in the water as a joke because [guests] were making fun of it,” Lohan said.

“People said I personally threw [the] phone, but it’s all not true. It’s a total fabricated lie!” 

Well, at least all this lying is giving her some valuable acting experience.

That Oscar’s not gonna win itself!

View Slideshow: 29 Wackest Photos of Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan Throws Boyfriend"s Phone in the Sea, Remains Psychotic

For the past several months, Lindsay Lohan has been dating a rich Russian real estate agent named Egor Tarabasov.

Sadly, it seems Egor is unfamiliar with that old Yakov Smirnoff chestnut: “In Soviet Russia, frekcly American actress out-drink you!”

Yes, despite recent, vague claims that Lindsay has totally calmed down and is ready for that Oscar and that 8-figure Marvel gig anytime now, there’s reason to believe that the Linsanity is as potent as ever.

As you may have heard (thanks to her constant reminders on social media) Lindsay turned 30 last week, and her wealthy dude took her on a swanky Greek Islands vacay to celebrate.

That’s where things got real, as they pretty much always do in the life of Lindsay Lohan.

“Everything was fine between them before something on Egor’s phone upset Lindsay,” a witness tells the Daily Mail.

“They then started shouting and screaming at each other.”

Fortunately, they settled things in the calm, rational manner that you would expect from Lindsay Lohan and an intoxicated 22-year-old Russian billionaire.

Just kidding, they totally went off on each other.

“Lindsay threw his phone in the sea, she looked absolutely furious,” says one source.

“The security at the beach club had to pull them apart and Lindsay left in her car while Egor went back to the party.”

Oh, it’s good to hear that she went for a drive after all that.

Sadly, this is not the first time that there have been rumors of violence in Lindsay and Egor’s relationship.

It’s not surprising, however, that Lindsay posted the above photo last night to ensure fans that all is well. She captioned it:

“Falling in love in exhausting …. Especially when you’re the older woman and have already seen it all #love is the most important thing at the end of the day #serenity”

Check in tomorrow for the inevitable news of Lindsay’s breakup, which is sure to be followed by reports that she and Egor have eloped.

Lindsay Lohan Tried, Failed to Cash In On Her Birthday

Earlier this week, we told you about how Lindsay Lohan really wanted everyone to care that she turned 30.

Sadly, as with most things the actress has been involved with in the 12 years since Mean Girls, the world responded with an apathetic shrug.

For most people, that simply meant they didn’t click on any of Lindsay’s endless birthday selfies (including one in which she hilariously wrote a caption about how awesome she is from Jimmy Fallon’s perspective) or share her self-created #LiLoIs30 hashtag.

For certain corporations, however, it meant they got to enjoy the orgasmically satisfying experience of giving the middle finger to Lindsay’s PR minions.

You see, back in 2006, Life & Style paid $ 100,000 for the exclusive right to “sponsor” Lindsay’s 20th birthday party.

Basically LiLo got to pass out in a six-figure mountain of cocaine in exchange for having the celebs who attended her party pose for photos in front of a backdrop with a bunch of corporate logos.

It’s a pretty sweet deal, and it’s no wonder that Lindsay tried to do work out a similar arrangement for her 30th birthday.

Of course, this time no one wanted any part of the deal, because … well, remember that thing we said about Lindsay’s last big movie coming out 12 freakin’ years ago?

“[Lindsay’s team] put together a one-sheet [proposal] of sponsorship opportunities, but nobody bit,” an insider tells Page Six of Lindsay’s most recent b-day.

“She’s worked hard to reform her image, but nobody’s interested.”

Incidentally, Nobody’s Interested would make a hell of a title for Lindsay’s inevitable memoirs.

Fortunately, Lindsay is dating a rich Russian real estate agent these days, so she was able to party in Mykonos despite not having done much in the way of work for the past decade or so.

Yes, her career might be in the dumpster, but Lindsay will probably live high on the hog for the rest of her days because the world is unfair and life is a cruel joke.

But hey, there’s always ice cream, right?

Lindsay Lohan REALLY Wants You to Care That She Turned 30

Lindsay Lohan celebrated her 30th birthday over the weekend, and while we’ll grant that there was a time when a lot of people didn’t think she would make it to the big 3-0, turning a year older isn’t really an achievement.

Lindsay posted the above photo on her Instagram page on Saturday, presumably to remind us that she has no idea how the world or human interactions work.

We know that Lindsay is terrible at Photoshop, so she probably didn’t make it, but just the fact that she posted a birthday card to herself with nothing but Emojis in the caption is weird as hell.

Even weirder: that’s just the beginning of Lohan’s bizarre obsession with her own birthday.

Not only did Lindsay host a live online Q&A session to “celebrate” the occasion (seriously), she also attempted to make her own birthday hashtag happen.

Clearly, she learned nothing from Toaster Strudel heiress Gretchen Wieners, because the girl pushed #LiloIs30 for days before taking the hint that it wouldn’t be catching on.

And if you thought the weirdness would end there, clearly you don’t know #LiLo.

“Happy birthday to me from a genius mind with a beautiful heart!! Hurry back to London soon! #letsdothis #LILOIS30”

It kinda feels like Lindsay is a freakin’ Martian who just learned about the concept of birthdays last week.

You can’t just post a pic of someone and wish yourself a happy birthday from them.

If you could, Kate Upton and LeBron James would wish us a happy birthday every year.

Lindsay posted nearly a dozen pics in celebration of her birthday, many of them documenting the Greek Islands vacay that she took with her rich Russian boyfriend.

Hilariously, she did the A-list celebrity thing where she was careful not to give away her exact location, so as to avoid getting mobbed by adoring fans.

We’d say she could’ve just not posted on social media every 20 minutes, but then where would we have gotten out #LiloIs30 updates?

Lindsay Lohan: Baby on the Way?!

Some things the world just isn’t prepared for. 

Lindsay Lohan having a child is one example that tops the list.

But the (former?) actress tells Vanity Fair in a new interview that a baby may indeed be in the stars for her sometime in the near future.

Lohan reveals she has a master plan for the next 10 years, which includes “making more films, writing my book, starting my charity, working with children a lot.”

“Maybe having some of my own soon – after I get some movies done first,” she added.

We’re unsure if any studios would care to take the risk of hiring LiLo at this point, but yes, please do some movies before having a kid. Take all the time you need.

Lohan recently got engaged to Egor Tarabasov, the son of a Russian business muckety muck, who was surprisingly not named after a character in Doctor Zhivago or a villain in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

Earlier this year, Life & Style also reported that the couple want to start popping out the kids right away, but this is the first we’re hearing it straight from Lohan’s mouth.

While she seems to have calmed down a bit from her peak partying days, a wacko report still surfaces from time to time, like when she got kicked out of a bar for spitting on people and hurling racial slurs earlier this year.

So maybe just hold off on the baby making until it’s all out of your system, Linds, mmkay?

But the other startling revelation from Lohan’s interview is that she is indeed writing a book. With words.

View Slideshow: 29 Wackest Photos of Lindsay Lohan

“I am very excited to share my personal experiences in life and how to overcome obstacles,” she said.

We imagine the life chronicles of the actress would be a fairly simple breakdown:

Did Parent Trap. Discovered coke. Did Mean Girls, did a bunch of coke. Went to rehab a few times, did barrels full of coke. Messed up that Elizabeth Taylor movie, coke, coke, coke.

Think we have it covered.

“I hope that my words will connect with those who need some guidance when [or] if they are in a tough place,” she continued.

“I am grateful that I have a voice, which I can now feel comfortable using as a platform to let people know that we all have ups and downs in life, and we can all come up from the downs if we get in touch with our inner self and spiritual side.”

Translation: I did a bunch of coke and messed up my life and no one would hire me. Don’t do that.

View Slideshow: Celebrities Expecting Babies in 2016

Lindsay Lohan: Releasing A New Album?

Lindsay Lohan might be making a return to the music industry. 

Lindsay said as much when she took part in a live video chat with her Mean Girls co-star, Rajiv Surendra. 

She revealed that she still HAS to release another album for Universal Motown. 

“And I will,” she added

There is no definite release date for the album as of yet, but it appears that it all depends on what her sister, Ali Lohan’s career.

“My sister is signed with EMI and she is recording a record, and out of respect for her and her true career choice, which is all she wants to do is make music,” she said, referring to her younger sister Ali.

“Her voice is like Etta James meets Adele. I want to respect her in that lane.”

There are a LOT of celebrity families that have more than one person with the same profession, so it’s a very odd thing to say. 

It’s sweet and all, but it doesn’t seem like we’re getting the full story here. 

There’s no denying that Lohan has had her ups and downs, but she seems to have turned a corner in recent years. 

Her acting career never quite recovered from her hiatus due to what was going on with her. 

A move back to the music industry would be a good step, but there’s a good chance that her hiatus from singing would probably make it difficult for her to achieve much in the way of chart success. 

It’s not like the star is doing much else at the moment. 

There was word recently that she could be marrying Egor Tarabasov without a prenup in place.

Obviously it’s a crazy decision, but it’s not like Tarabasov isn’t worth a decent chunk of money. 

The fact of the matter is that Lindsay shouldn’t be passing up opportunities that could better her financial situation. 

Releasing another album might not make her much, but it would be something. 

Her fans are not going to be rooting for a new album forever. Her last single was released in 2008!

What do you think about all of this? Should Lindsay just move on and release her next album?

View Slideshow: Lindsay Lohan Photoshop Fails: The Best of the Worst!