You may be reaching the point where you’ve grown so tired of the media’s non-stop primary coverage that just hearing the name Ted Cruz makes you want to dry heave into the nearest wastebasket.
Well, his wife has felt that way for years, and you don’t hear her complaining! Oh, plus things just got way grosser on the Ted Cruz tip:
The clip above features a recent Maury Povich guest named Searcy Hayes discussing the Internet’s reaction to her unfortunate resemblance to Ted Cruz.
Searcy was originally on the show to talk about the usual Maury stuff (Her boyfraan thought she was a-cheatin’!) but after Ms. Hayes set the Internet “ablaze” with her Cruz Face, producers decided to bring her back.
Yes, the woman was invited to do a second appearance on the show, all because people apparently want to see a female version of Ted have sex on camera, and because Maury commitment to journalistic integrity knows no bounds.
For starters Searcy would like to make perfectly clear that she is not the Cruz’s sister…she thinks.
“If I am, why are people just now bringing him back in my life?” she asks.
A fair question, but millions of Americans have spent the past ten months wondering why Ted Cruz is in our lives, and there’s really no easy answer.
“Why would everyone compare me to a president?” Searcy then wonders aloud as Maury laughs his ass off.
She later admits that she has no idea who Cruz is, but she is wiling to star in a Cruz-based porn for $ 10,000.
Yes, apparently the XHamster website has decided people really want to see Ted Cruz get railed six ways from Sunday. We can’t imagine why.
Apparently, the film will star Searcy’s boyfraan, so she won’t be doin’ no cheatin’.
Sounds like this project has some serious potential, and we’d like to suggest some possible titles.
Filibustin’; 2 Girls, 100 Cans of Campbell’s Chunky Soup; Searcy Does the Senate; TrusTed…In Bed; A Sex Tape in Which Ted Cruz Cheats on His Wife on Several Occasions During His Time in the Senate.
Actually, that last one might already exist.
Searcy says the only politician she’s ever heard of is Donald Trump, who probably loves being associated with classy self.
After all, Donald Trump loves all women.
