The beast was awoken on Sunday night at SummerSlam.
But we’ll get to that in a few moments.
The second biggest pay-per-view on the WWE’s annual schedule also featured the return of Jon Stewart in the ring,along with the crowning of an an inaugural WWE Universal Champion.
Ready for a recap? Let’s do this!
American Alpha, The Usos and Hype Brothers def. The Ascension, BreeZango and the Vaudevillains.
Unlike the recent Smackdown battle between these same participants, The Usos got the pin, after which there appeared to be some tension between them and AA. Impending Feud Alert?
Sami Zayn and Neville def. Dudley Boys.
The finishing sequence featured Neville eluding a running boot in the corner to set up Zayn’s Heluva Kick, followed by a Red Arrow for the pin.
Sheamus def. Cesaro.
A slow start, but a satisfying overall product. Sheamus won with the Brogue Kick after many brutal offensive moves and reverses were executed on both sides.
JeriKO def. Enzo and Big Cass.
We really love the moniker given to the team of Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens. The real story here, though, was hot Enzo and Big Cass worked the crowd.
We can’t wait for them to split up and each find enormous singles success.
Charlotte def. Sasha Banks to win the WWE Women’s Championship.
What a match! Well, what an attempt of a match!
There were unfortunately quite a few botched moves, but you have to admire the women for really going after it. They tried some crazy stuff. The end came after Charlotte rolled Sasha up in a reversal of the Bank Statement.
The Miz def. Apollo Crews.
The Miz retained his title in a quick, forgetting match.
AJ Styles def. John Cena.
There wasn’t a ton of build-up to the latest showdown in this feud, but Styles and Cena made sure they stood out.
At one point, Styles kicked out of an Attitude Adjustment from the top rope, eventually winning via a second Styles Clash finished off The Face That Runs the Place.
We’re talking Match of the Year candidate here. Cena received a standing ovation as he walked to the back.
He also left his armband in the ring, making some think we won’t be seeing John Cena again for awhile.
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson def. The New Day by DQ to retain tag-team titles.
Big E came back to save Jon Stewart from an attack, causing his squad to be disqualified.
Dean Ambrose def. Dolph Ziggler to retain the WWE championship.
We were rooting for Ziggler, but would have been fine with Ambrose winning… if it didn’t happen after a simple Dirty Deeds, which followed a missed top-rope maneuver.
Nikki Bella, Natalya and Alexa Bliss def. Naomi, Carmella and Becky Lynch.
Nikki earned the pin on Carmella after the Rack Attack.
Finn Balor def. Seth Rollins to win the WWE Universal title.
We have a new, inaugural champion!
Lots of drop kicks throughout this battle, with Balor in full-on Demon King form. He won after nailing a Coup de Grace.
Rusev vs. Reigns – No Match After a Brawll; Rusev retains the U.S. Title.
Rusev and Reigns came to blows within seconds of the two standing in the ring. The fight spilled outside and Reigns twice hit Rusev with a chair, prompting an influx of referees to rush in and stop the action.
After he got to his feet, Reigns emerged from backstage and sprinted down the ramp to spear Rusev.
Brock Lesnar def. Randy Orton by TKO.
HOLY CRAP.
Lesnar dominated from the opening bell. He hit Orton with corner shoulder thrusts. He nailed him with German Suplexes. He took off his gloves and simply pummeled Orton with punches, drawing seemingly real blood.
With Orton bleeding profusely, referees came into the ring to attend to him… but Lesnar continued to inflict damage. The match was finally called with Lesnar a winner by TKO.
Afterward, Shane McMahon came down to put a stop to the beatdown, only to receive an F5.
Not sure if this was really worthy of a main event on such a major pay-per-view, but it really is a sight to behold any time Lesnar loses his $ hit.