Colton Haynes holds absolutely nothing back in a new interview with Out Magazine.
The actor (Arrow, Teen Wolf) makes it pretty clear in the feature article that he’s more content than ever after having come out as a gay man in Hollywood.
But he also explains how this was the end of a difficult struggle that started at home.
And he even goes into detail about his father’s suicide.
“I’m the last person in the world who would say, ‘Oh, my dad – pity me,” Haynes tells the publication.
“But I was told that my dad killed himself because he found out I was gay.
“So, of course, I lost it and was like, ‘How could you say something like that?"”
It’s unclear just who did tell Haynes this heartbreaking information, while it will remain unclear forever whether or not it’s accurate.
“No one will ever really know the truth,” he says, adding:
“But my brother and my mom went to pick up my dad’s stuff, and the only picture on his fridge was my eighth-grade graduation picture.
“So I was just like, ‘F—,’ ” said the Kansas native, who came out to his family and classmates at age 14.
That would most likely be right when Haynes was in eighth grade.
Haynes came out as gay to the public, meanwhile, in May.
Chatter over his sexuality had started in January after a few modeling pictures went viral, with Haynes telling Entertainment Weekly that anxiety over going public forced him into rehab.
“It took me so long to get to this point, but I’m doing so good,” Haynes said this spring.
“I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and healthier than I’ve ever been, and that’s what I care about.”
Why did it take the 28-year old so long to make this admission?
“I feel really bad that I had to lie for so long, But I was told that was the only way I was going to be successful,” he admits to Out.
“When you’re young in this industry, people take advantage of you, and they literally tell you that your dreams are going to come true. If you believe that, you’ll do anything.
“And you do believe it, especially if you’re from Kansas.”
Haynes moved to Tinseltown at 17.
Even after coming out, he was criticized by Noah Galvin for somehow doing it the wrong way.
(Galvin later apologized to Haynes and to the LGBT community.)
Haynes says he has not been in a relationship in ages.
His ideal man is a combination of John Cena, Idris Elba and Ryan Reynolds.
We assume he’s kidding (well, serious, but kidding), as he added to Out of his dream mate:
“[It would be] someone who just descended from a mountain and said, ‘I don’t have any friends. Would you like to come live with me?’
“I’d love that. I want to somehow have a happy ending. Or a happy beginning.”
We hope Colton Haynes finds one.