Selena Gomez was on the verge of tears in concert, then broke down on Instagram this weekend, leaving fans worried for the singer.
Labeling herself as inauthentic and disconnected (she said “unauthentic” and “unconnected,” but same thing), she’s clearly a hard time.
That much is obvious … what we don’t know is what prompted it.
The star kicked off the international part of her Revival world tour Saturday night in Jakarta, Indonesia, just one day after turning 24.
She appeared to be having a blast with her friends as they all arrived in the country, looking giggly and excited to see everyone on Snapchat.
“I’m very, very happy and excited,” she said in one video.
The singer also noted that “everybody here is so nice.”
Something beneath the facade is amiss though.
Just before performing her hit song “Kill ‘Em With Kindness” to end the show, Gomez got emotional as she addressed the raucous crowd:
“The next song,” she told the Selenators, “before I go home, is a song that’s so important to me, because I get really frustrated.”
“I get stupid sometimes,” the singer said. “I say things that I don’t mean, or that come out wrong, just because I care so badly.”
Was this an allusion to how so many people online slammed Gomez for defending Taylor Swift in her ongoing beef with Kimye?
Selena quoted from her song as she said, fighting back tears:
“Truth is the last thing we need right now is hate, in any form. But the thing is, at the end of the day, no war in anger was ever won.”
It’s not clear where she was going with that, but she went on:
“I do know that deep down in my heart, that I have to believe that we can love each other and always be kind, no matter what it takes.
“I believe that we can do that, no matter what.”
That emotional plea might have been the end of it, but things took a more worrisome turn when Gomez posted a note on Insta later that night:
“Tonight I felt extremely unauthentic, unconnected to both myself and my music,” she posted, as you can see from the screen shot above.
“I’ve never really felt like my materials, wardrobe or a video could define me. I act on a moment and fear that something hasn’t happened.”
“I’m stagnant, I stay still and don’t just sit with myself first and ask ‘Is this where I am, whole heartedly?’ I’ve always told the truth.”
“I’m always true to my word, I’ve shown who I am but I need to rethink some areas of my life creatively and personally.”
Selena captioned the image, “not being negative about anything I’ve done. I’m grateful for every single moment I get here.”
“Indonesia you were LOUD and clearly inspiring. Love you so much”
Again, we don’t know what prompted any of these surprising revelations, but it’s undeniable that something got in her head.
This would not be the first time Selena’s fragile mental state has been a cause for concern, but it’s worrisome nevertheless.
Here’s hoping she finds whatever it is that she’s looking for.