Ariana Grande and Her Mom Destroy Piers Morgan Over Misogyny

On Wednesday, Twitter witnessed a murder.
Ariana Grande and her mother, Joan Grande, just absolutely annihilated Piers Morgan.
See, he went after both Ellen DeGeneres (really!) and Little Mix, because he’s an absurd troll who likes to stir up trouble.
But if you kick enough...
Ariana Grande and Her Mom Destroy Piers Morgan Over Misogyny

Tess Holliday Claps Back After Piers Morgan Body-Shames Her Cosmo Cover

Piers Morgan can be such a mixed bag. It’s nice ot see him berate that vulture Samantha Grant. It’s gross to see him ask Caitlin Jenner creepy questions about her body.

This time, he’s making gross comments about another woman’s body — plus size model and trailblazer Tess Holliday.

Tess graced the cover of Cosmopolitan, and Piers was apparently unable to resist commenting on her body and accusing her of being some sort of public health hazard.

Before Piers decided to insert his opinion into the narrative, Tess was delighted with her cover.

“Phew,” Tess writes on Instagram. “I’m literally a COSMO GIRL!!”

“Can’t believe I’m saying that!” she continues. “Thank you @CosmopolitanUK for this incredible opportunity “

Tess discusses the impact that body positivity can have, writing: “If I saw a body like mine on this magazine when I was a young girl, it would have changed my life “

Tess advises her fans: “Issue hits stands 8/31!”

Unfortunately, Piers Morgan is one of those dudes who worries about other people loving themselves on their terms instead of on his.

“As Britain battles an ever-worsening obesity crisis,” Piers laments. “This is the new cover of Cosmo.”

“Apparently,” Piers continues. “We’re supposed to view it as a ‘huge step forward for body positivity.’”

“What a load of old baloney,” Piers declares.

“This cover,” Piers continues. “Is just as dangerous & misguided as celebrating size zero models.”

Tess took to Twitter and hit back.

“To everyone saying I’m a burden to the British health care system,” Tess begins.

“I’m american,” Texx explains. “So you don’t have to worry about my fat ass.”

She is such a delight and doesn’t hesitate to use humor when speaking truth to power. Good for her.

(Naturally, we shouldn’t conflate body size with health, and no one should be seen as a “burden” because of their health)

Tess says that the people who are uncomfortable with the size of her body, which literally does not impact them at all, should have more important things on their minds.

“Worry about what horrible people you are,” Tess suggests to her detractors.

That’s harsh — but considering that Piers just accused her of being the next Typhoid Mary and he was far from the worst person to comment, it’s fair.

She says that they have demonstrated that they’re horrible “by whining about how me being on the cover of a glossy magazine impacts your small minded life.”

It’s difficult to understand why so many people feel like they have the right to tell other people what to do with their own bodies.

Tess’ body does not impact the rest of us. It just doesn’t. 

But a photo of her on the cover of a magazine could have a very real and powerful effect on little girls (or others, but girls especially) who are struggling to love themselves.

When people like Piers say that body positive images of Tess and women like her will somehow make the “obesity epidemic” worse, it is clear what they really mean.

They mean that people who have learned to love themselves won’t go on dangerous starvation diets that ultimately don’t work in a desperate attempt to get their bodies looking how Piers wants them to.

If you think that one body type is more attractive than another, that’s fine — we all have preferences. But women are allowed to just exist without you wanting to bang them.

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Toccara Jones Checks Piers Morgan for Body Shaming Tess Holliday

Toccara Jones can’t believe Piers Morgan so blatantly body shamed a plus-size model and tried to mask it as a health concern … saying someone can be big AND healthy. The ex-“America’s Next Top Model” contestant says she’s been shamed herself…

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Piers Morgan Berates Samantha Markle: You Little Vulture!

Piers Morgan is on Team Meghan Markle.

Or, to be more accurate perhaps, Piers Morgan is on Team Anyone But Samantha Markle.

The soon-to-be half-sister-in-law of Prince Harry has been making waves for several months, taking advantage of her estranged sibling"s engagement to drag Meghan left and right. 

With a book on the way titled "The Diary of Princess Pushy"s Sister," Samantha has been appearing on any media outlet that will accept her as a guest and using her air time to insult her half-sister as a fraud and a phony and a generally terrible person.

On Tuesday, that outlet was Good Morning Britain.

And the topic at hand was the reported absence of Samantha and Megan"s father from Meghan"s upcoming wedding.

(Samantha and Meghan share the same dad, but different mothers. The former was grown up and out of the house when the latter was a child; they barely know each other.)

As of this writing, Thomas Markle doesn"t plan on attending the Royal Nuptials, partially due to a recent heart attack… but mostly due to embarrassment over the reveal that he"s been paying paparazzi photographers to stage his photo ops.

"The goal of those photographs was basically because he"s feeling defenseless," Samantha explained in defense of her dad, adding:

"A person has the right to say, "Enough is enough.""

She then shamed "media vultures" for allegedly "taking advantage" of him.

And this is when Morgan stepped in.

"Here"s the problem with all this," said the co-host.

"In the last few weeks, the British media have been bombarded with letters from Kensington Palace saying he wants to be left alone.

"And now, it turns out he was actively invading his own privacy. I now feel sorry for his own daughter, who doesn"t have her father at the wedding because he has been caught up posing for paparazzi photos."

As for the comment that journalists are vultures who have targeted her loved ones?

Well…

"It"s pretty rich coming from you, Samantha, to accuse media of being vultures," Morgan said, adding in anger:

"There"s no bigger media vulture with this wedding than you, is there? How do you have the gall to come on here and talk about media vultures? You"re doing a book called The Diary of Princess Pushy"s Sister.

"You have been trashing her for two years, you little vulture!"

Click PLAY to watch the fiery exchange in full:

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Piers Morgan: Omarosa Offered Me Sex to Let Her Win The Apprentice!

In case you decided to move to a cabin in the woods to focus on your beard growing skills sometime around November 9, 2016, then you may not be aware that D.C.’s most diseased rats have been fleeing the sinking ship that is the Trump administration in droves.

The latest casualty of the leakiest vessel on the Potomac is Omarosa Manigault, the former Apprentice contestant who managed to land a gig in Trump’s communications department because America has officially completed its transformation into a Mike Judge fever dream.

Since being uncereomoniously sh-tcanned by White House Chief of Staff John Kelly, Omarosa has been appearing on Celebrity Big Brother, where she’s become the show’s resident harbinger of doom, routinely scaring the hell out of her castmates with tales of corruption and hypocrisy inside the Trump administration.

Not surprisingly, this practice has earned her the ire of self-proclaimed journalist and noted angry potato Piers Morgan.

Morgan recently embarked on a second career as a professional Trump bootlicker, which means he took as his sacred duty to burn Manigault’s reputation to the ground.

And since they both appeared on The Apprentice – our current administration’s answer to the Hitler Youth – it was easy for Piers to claim insider knowledge of Omarosa’s shady past.

“I’ve met a lot of vile human beings in my life, from dictators and terrorists to sex abusers and wicked conmen,” Morgan wrote in a piece for the Daily Mail on Tuesday.

“But I’ve never met anyone quite so relentlessly loathsome as Omarosa; a vicious, duplicitous, lying, conniving, backstabbing piece of work.”

Piers went on to tear Omarosa apart as basically the worst person he’s ever met, while at the same time absolving Trump of any blame for giving her a job in the freakin’ White House:

“Which beggars the question: what the hell was she doing inside the world’s most powerful building for 12 months? The answer, as we can now see, was amassing a whole mass of damaging information to now use against President Trump and his administration on Celebrity Big Brother,” he wrote.

Well, that’s just boring, Piers.

We just assume everyone in the White House is compiling information so that they can either write a scathing tell-all or turn state’s evidence.

We thought you were gonna answer the far more intriguing question of how she got hired in the first place.

From there, Piers goes on to describe a ruthlesslty ambitious woman who would do anything to succeed.

Trigger warning: “anything” here includes having sex with Piers Morgan.

“Omarosa sidled up to me at the New York Mercantile Exchange and said, quite seriously: ‘Piers, do you want a showmance?’ ‘A what?’ I replied.

“‘A showmance. You know, a romance on the show — we get it on together. Happens all the time on Apprentice. Everyone has sex together. Then we can make lots of money out of it,’” Morgan wrote.

“I stared at her grasping, ferociously ambitious little eyes, and laughed: ‘You must be joking, you deluded woman.’ She didn’t take it well. ‘What are you? Gay?’” 

gnoring the roast-able bounty that is everything else about him, Omarosa then zeroed in on Morgan’s sexuality in an attempt to … well, we’re not really sure what she was trying to accomplish at this point.

“Because I’d rejected her revolting sex plot, she decided the best line of attack was to repeatedly question my sexuality in the most crude and offensive manner imaginable,” Morgan’s op-ed continued.

“On another occasion, in front of boxing champion Lennox Lewis, she said: ‘Hey Piers, I hear you got caught sucking a gay waiter’s c—k in a hotel pool?’ This was a lie. I’m not gay and she hadn’t heard that about me. She’d just made it up to smear me and to provoke me into a confrontation.”

Morgan concludes his piece:

“Beneath the laughs though lay a less savoury truth: Omarosa is a reprehensible human being, prepared to offer sex to win a reality TV show and use the most vile homophobic slurs against rival contestants.”

Wow. Piers Morgan is calling someone else vile and reprehensible?!

Is this some sort of Fight Club situation where we’re gonna find out he and Omarosa were the same person this whole time?

Obviously, we’re torn by this situation, because Piers is the worst, but Omarosa is also the worst.

There was a time when it was impossible for two things to be worst, but 2018 is bringing us to new depths as a society.

It’s a good time to kiss your loved ones and make peace with your higher power, folks, because it’s on February.

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Donald Trump Tells Piers Morgan, "I Wouldn"t Say I"m a Feminist"

We pretty much already knew it, but now he’s come out and said it himself — Donald Trump is not a feminist. British news host Piers Morgan tweeted a quote from his recent interview with the Prez, in which Trump apparently says, “‘No, I…

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Donald Trump to Piers Morgan: Why Should I Apologize For Racist Tweets?

The campaign and presidency of Donald Trump have brought all manner of D-list boot-lickers out of the woodwork, many of whom have attempted to forge second careers out of their willingness to publicly fellate the Donald.

Scott Baio, Omarosa, Ted Nugent, and Stacey Dash are just some of the lackeys to emerge from the “where are they now?” file in hopes of winning Trump’s favor.

But of all the has-beens who have put their remnants of their reputations on the line for a man who clearly has no loyalty to his minions (ask Steve Bannon about that one) perhaps none is more perplexing than Piers Morgan.

In the States, Morgan might be best known as the guy who once co-hosted a cut-rate talent show with Sharon Osbourne, but in his native UK, he still has a career.

As the host of Good Morning Britain is basically the British equivalent of Matt Lauer … and we say that with full awareness that Lauer is a creep who was despised by his co-workers and received praise only when he announced his decision to finally go away.

On this morning’s show, Piers was as giddy as a schoolgirl, having finally secured an interview with his longtime Twitter crush, DJT.

For the most part, Morgan lobbed a bunch of softball nonsense at the president, but remarkably, he did actually broach a difficult subject by bringing up Trump’s retweets of Britain First, a bigoted hate group whose views have been universally condemned by British politicians.

Trump didn’t deny that he retweeted the group three times (“Well, three times. Boom, boom, boom. Quickly. Yeah,” he hilariously described the action), but he also refused to apologize for one of the dumbest moves of a presidency characterized solely by dumb moves.

“Here’s what’s fair: If you’re telling me they’re horrible, racist people I would certainly apologize, if you’d like me to do that. I know nothing about them,” Trump said.

When Morgan basically replied, “That’s some Palin-caliber word salad there, boss, but folks hane more finely-tuned BS detectors on this side of the pond,” Trump elaborated thusly:

“I don’t want to be involved with people like that. But you’re telling me about these people because I know nothing about these people.”

That was apparently good enough for Piers who took to Twitter after the interview to declare that Trump had “publicly apologised.”

Now, obviously, dumb Trump tweets are nothing new, but the Britain First links took things to a dangerous new level, as for the first time, the president was presenting an immediate physical threat to civilians of an allied nation.

Britain First followers have been known to engage in racially-charged hate crimes, and when their views are legitimized by none other than the president of the United States, it makes life measurably more dangerous for civilians in the UK and throughout the world.

As this week’s CNN threats reminded us, the president’s words have real-world consequences, and what’s nothing more than a petty social media feud to Trump is a literal call to arms for some of his followers.

But hey, if his apology is good enough for Piers Morgan, were sure it’s good enough to quell the homicidal rage of a heavily-armed far-right militia group.

View Slideshow: 17 Celebrities Who Actually Support Donald Trump

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Tonya Harding Gets Pissed at Piers Morgan Over "Real Victim," Her or Nancy Kerrigan

Tonya Harding kneecapped Piers Morgan, or at least her interview with him … abruptly cutting it short when he called her out for acting like she was the victim, and not Nancy Kerrigan. Tonya was on “Good Morning Britain,” and clearly expecting a…

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Caitlyn Jenner Shuts Down Piers Morgan: Don"t Ask About My Body, You Creep!

Piers Morgan isn"t exactly known for his tasteful questions, and he"s once again demonstrating that.

This time, he asks Caitlyn Jenner about how her "physique" has changed since her youth.

As you can see in the video below, Caitlyn shut him down right away, explaining that his question isn"t just inappropriate — for many trans women, it"s dangerous.

Caitlyn Jenner has been dragged by many in the trans community for not, they believe, doing a good job of representing the community.

(Remember the trans woman who called Caitlyn Jenner a fraud? That woman is now running for office)

But … it looks like things might be getting a little better.

See, Piers Morgan — through innuendo — asks prying questions about Caitlyn"s body, now versus in her past.

And Cait shuts him down pretty epically, even talking about how ignorant questions like Piers" can make life itself dangerous for trans women.

So, Piers Morgan holds up an old plastic action figure of Caitlyn Jenner from her Olympian days, long before her transition.

(Total side note, but have you ever seen the episode of Murder, She Wrote that Cait was on? Seeing her deadname on the credits a couple of years ago, back when the series was on Netflix, was such a surprise for me)

Piers made the unfortunate choice to gesture to the action figure, and talk about her "physique," asking how it differs now versus then, saying:

"Obviously, certain areas we know."

Yikes. Cait doesn"t let that go by unchallenged, saying:

"See you made a comment there and that"s why you would get in trouble."

"You just said, "Oh certain areas." That, to a trans person, is disrespectful."

For the record, asking anybody about their private parts in an interview is usually disrespectful unless that person has already indicated that they"re fine talking about it.

Cait explains: "Because you don"t make a joke about that."

"Because it"s not funny, it"s life."

She goes on to say:

"And it’s a part of my life and it"s a very serious part of my life."

Piers inquires why life can"t be a joke, or whatever. We guess that maybe he thought that he"d get away with his creepy questions?

Caitlyn is not amused, saying: "I don"t take it and I take that very seriously."

She even ties the issue to other trans folks.

"And so, out of respect to myself and the community, it"s not something that you joke about."

Cait talks more about how this impacts trans women, and not just herself:

"It"s something, as I said before, this is serious stuff. People die over this issue. It"s not a joke."

It"s worth noting that Piers Morgan is hardly the first person to ask wildly inappropriate questions of a trans woman he"s interviewing.

But it"s 2018. This should not still be happening.

Back in 2014, Katie Couric interviewed Laverne Cox and Carmen Carrera, And during that interview, Couric asked some very inappropriate genital questions without realizing that she was doing anything wrong.

Janet Mock did a famous takedown of that behavior — if you"re not going to ask a cis celebrity about their genitals, then don"t ask a trans celebrity about theirs.

Katie Couric, for the record, apologized and later did a series about trans folks, and stated explicitly that part of what inspired her to do the series was her past mistakes.

Caitlyn Jenner is right — transphobic questions can be life-for-death for trans folks who aren"t millionaire celebrities.

For the record, though, what Piers was saying would be rude and creepy to anyone.

Would he, while interviewing Martha Stewart, ask questions about her breasts or genitals? Would he ask any 68-year-old woman about her "physique" in contrast to when she was a young athlete? We hope not.

Anyway, while nobody"s private areas are any business of ours, this is additionally true for trans people. It might become appropriate to ask if you"re dating a trans woman, but that"s about it.

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Piers Morgan Slams Emily Ratajkowski as "Global Bimbo," Gets OWNED by Model

Piers Morgan has chosen the wrong woman to go after.

And definitely the wrong time during which to do it.

To open today’s broadcast of Good Morning Britain, Piers Morgan set his sights on Emily Ratajkowski and the model’s latest risque photo shoot.

It was for Love Magazine and it featured Ratajkowski wearing more strands of spaghetti than layers of clothing.

And Morgan simply was NOT having it!

“I don’t know quite what she is. She’s a global bimbo,” Morgan said bluntly on air, adding:

“She’s posted something on Instagram about how what we are watching now is unbelievably empowering to feminists…

“For goodness sake – get some clothes on and get yourself a proper job.

On Twitter, meanwhile, Morgan shared a collage of images from the pictorial in question and wrote:

“This is Emily Ratajkowski ‘promoting feminism’. Somewhere, Emmeline Pankhurst just vomited.”

For the record, Ratajkowski never said a word about this particular shoot “promoting feminism,” as Morgan asserts.

But she has wondered in the past why there’s a double standard applied to beautiful women… versus men or more average looking women.

“When Lena Dunham takes her clothes off, she gets flak, but it’s also considered brave,” Ratajkowski previously told Harper’s Bazaar.

“When Justin Bieber takes his shirt off, he’s a grown-up. But when a woman who is sexual takes off her top, it plays into something.”

Ratajkowski seems to be missing the general critique about her: that she is only known for posing nearly naked, while the other stars she cites above rely on their talent to earn fortune and fame.

Yet Ratajkowski does not miss the mark in any way, shape or form in responding to Morgan’s harsh criticism.

She totally owns the smarmy anchor.

“Lol never said my love video was a feminist statement,” Ratajkowski Tweeted in response, elaborating perfectly as follows:

“But now it’s worth saying that telling women what to do with their bodies & sexuality is actually just classic sexism.

“I can have opinions about feminism & also do sexy photo shoots k thanks.”

Pretty great point, isn’t it?

What is more sexist, flaunting a body one is proud of… or insulting a woman for doing so?

Citing the allegations against Harvey Weinstein, and really the entire #MeToo movement in general, Ratajkowski added via Twitter:

I’m tired of having to consider how I might be perceived by men if I wear the short skirt or post a sexy Instagram. I want to do what I want to do.

Feminism isn’t about adjusting, it’s about freedom and choice

Previously, addresses critics of her scantily-clad photos by saying:

“To me, female sexuality and sexiness, no matter how conditioned it may be by a patriarchal ideal, can be incredibly empowering for a woman if she feels it is empowering to her.

“The way I dress, act, flirt, dance, have sex – those are my decisions and they shouldn’t be impacted by men. Being sexy is fun and I like it.

“I should never have to apologize for that.”

Your move, Piers Morgan.

Go ahead and try to think of a comeback.

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Piers Morgan: President Trump Finally Has Ringmaster to Run White House

Piers Morgan thinks Donald Trump finally picked the right guy to sort out the White House’s mess of chewing up and spitting out staffers. Piers was leaving Madeo Monday night when we asked him about his take on Anthony Scaramucci,…

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Piers Morgan Says Undercover Vid Shows CNN "Cutting Corners" to Bash President Trump

Piers Morgan’s not bashing CNN for going after huge ratings with stories about President Trump and Russia, but thinks their Prez-bashing is dangerous journalism … and led to embarrassment. Piers tells TMZ he’s not surprised CNN is now in…

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Amber Rose and Piers Morgan: FEUDING Over Her Nude Photo!

So, you remember how Amber Rose flashed her bush to the world via Instagram?

Well now Piers Morgan is trying to feud with her because he craves negative attention doesn’t think that she’s a real feminist.

Though Instagram quickly deleted the image, everyone had of course already seen it.

Which was exactly what she wanted — because Amber’s nudity wasn’t without purpose.

In addition to just raising awareness for her SlutWalk, she had a specific and powerfully feminist message in mind:

“Amber Rose challenge anyone? Lol post your version of my picture and hashtag #amberroseslutwalk on behalf of feminism, body positivity and not conforming to society norms of how we should live, what we should wear and where we should shave.”

Piers Morgan wasn’t feeling it, and decided to express that in a super condescending way:

“Put it away, luv. Thanks.”

After Amber called him out for being an obvious misogynist, he seemed to get even angrier.

“It’s not ‘misogyny’ to think that posting nude photos in the supposed name of feminist empowerment is pathetic attention-seeking bulls**t.”

So, nothing that we haven’t heard from him before. 

When Amber questioned if he was simply off-put by her pubic hair, he clarified.

“I can handle your naked body, Amber — relax. I just can’t handle your ridiculous claim to be stripping off in the name of feminism.”

We don’t know how long it will take for him and others like him to get it through their thick skulls that a major component of feminism is doing what you want with your own body.

If you’re an adult and you want to wear a bikini or share your nudes or go topless on the beach or do anything else with your flesh prison that doesn’t hurt anybody, nobody else has ownership over you.

And that also means that you can wear a hijab or a burka if you’re so inclined.

It means that you can have sex with a thousand partners or with zero. Your body belongs to you.

Poor Piers doesn’t seem to get it, because he continued to defend his position.

“I just find this new trend of famous women posting nude photos & pretending it’s to ‘promote feminism’ utterly laughable.”

Well, Amber Rose was promoting SlutWalk, a transnational feminist movement to end rape culture — including slut-shaming.

And her photo was literally promoting it. There’s no ambiguity there.

Finally, Piers Morgan says something that’s actually true.

“‘The only way for a woman to succeed in life is to post nude photos of themselves to millions of strangers’ — said no true feminist ever.”

That is accurate, in that no true feminist would say something so ridiculous.

Because, again, there are countless ways for women to succeed in life, and only a few of them involve sharing their nudes with the public.

We’ll never understand Piers Morgan’s pathological obsession with controlling what women do with their bodies, but, like most people, we’ll just try our best to ignore it.

Piers Morgan seems to make a habit of feuding with famous feminist women, even daring to malign Beyonce.

Though he at least had the decency to eventually apologize to Ariana Grande. 

We all know why he takes aim at the likes of JK Rowling and Kim Kardashian, and it’s more than just misogyny (though clearly also that).

He just wants attention.

We don’t just say that because he’s a nasty, justifiably reviled fellow who craves attention and apparently doesn’t care if it’s negative.

He also just wants ratings, like everyone else on television.

Feuds bring attention.

Unfortunately, even within feminism — like, actual feminists, not Piers Morgan — there are those who are opposed to sex-positive feminism like Amber’s.

Why? It depends.

Some see sex-positivity among women as being more about them being appealing to men and still abiding by patriarchal beauty standards.

They forget that all sorts of women can be sex-positive, including lesbians, whose sex-positivity definitely isn’t to benefit men.

They also forget that those same patriarchal values often shame people for engaging in sex outside of certain contexts — usually marriage — so yes, having sex can absolutely be a feminist statement.

There are feminists who disagree with sex-positivity because they believe that it’s harmful to people who choose to be reserved about sex and also to asexuals.

These feminists have a point, because sex-positivity is worthless if you don’t consider all choices that women might make for themselves about sex.

Similarly, it would be hypocritical for someone to “yasss” over a topless selfie but then rail against a woman who chooses to wear a niqab.

The “my body, my choice” thing goes in every direction, every time. There are a few feminists who forget this.

But Amber Rose doesn’t — her advocacy may have a lot to do with nudity and sex, but it’s clear that her feminism includes everybody.

Admittedly, we were a little uncomfortable with her “bring back the bush” caption that she shared at one point while discussing her photo.

As Ashley Graham reminds us, personal grooming is a personal choice.

But we don’t really think that Amber Rose is pushing women to make the same choice that she does with what does or does not decorate their genitals.

She’s just pushing for a little more acceptance, because she knows that pubic hair is less fashionable these days and she wants young women to know that it’s okay to not shave or wax if you don’t want to.

Regardless of your personal tastes, you know that it’s an important message.

Like any political statement, Amber’s post was divisive on a number of levels, even if we ignore Piers Morgan’s willful ignorance.

Not everybody’s going to see eye-to-eye on everything.

One area where we can probably all agree: we haven’t seen the last of Amber Rose and her super hot photos.

View Slideshow: Amber Rose Selfies: Look at Me!

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Piers Morgan Attacks Kim Kardashian"s Cellulite, Remains Worst Human

Kim Kardashian and Piers Morgan may not appear to have a whole lot in common, but interestingly, both of their wildly successful media careers are related their posteriors.

Kim’s butt is the most famous on the planet, of course, and her figure has helped to make her one of the most famous women on the planet.

Similarly, Piers frequently talks out of his ass, and has cemented his place as one of the ugliest polyps on the diseased colon that is Trump’s America.

Yesterday, Piers and Kim’s rear careers collided in unexpected fashion, and we were reminded that while Kim has a giant ass, Piers just is one.

Morgan thinks of himself as a political commentator but when his nose isn’t buried two inches deep in Donald Trump’s anus (Hey, more butt stuff!), he finds time for other important work, such as informing the world what a pasty, Weeble-shaped 52-year-old thinks of famous women’s bodies.

Earlier this week, candid photos of Kim in a bikini made the rounds online, due mainly to the fact that the 36-year-old mother of two appeared to have a bit of cellulite.

The public body-shaming that ensued prompted Piers to emerge, Gollum-like, from his underground lair, and join in the fun, despite the fact that Morgan himself is biologically indistinguishable from a naked mole rat.

When a female co-host of Morgan’s encouraged women to celebrate their cellulite, Piers nearly spat out his mouthful of grubs and millipedes, countering:

“Celebrate is the wrong word. Why would we celebrate it? We put up with it, tolerate it, but not accept it.”  

The trash talk continued on Twitter, where Piers Morgan – who, it’s important to point out, looks like what would happen if Steve Bannon really let himself go – continued to insist that cellulite is somehow grosser than Piers Morgan:

“Nobody ‘celebrates’ cellulite, male or female,” Morgan tweeted.

“Why would anyone be excited by cellulite?” he continued.

He then turned his attention to Marie Claire, a magazine that dared to encourage Kim and other women to take pride in their bodies, cellulite and all:

“So @marieclaire wants me to ‘stop talking’ about women’s bodies … you make millions out of talking about women’s bodies – so pipe down, you ludicrous wastrels,” Piers quipped.

Sigh. This situation is a lot like the part of your chin that’s supposed to delineate where your face ends and your neck begins:

Piers is simply missing the point.

The problem isn’t that other media figures and outlets talk about women’s bodies, it’s that they generally don’t so in a fashion that doesn’t bring to mind a creepy uncle sizing up his niece’s “problem areas” at the pool.

Piers will probably comment more on this issue at some point today, but he may need some time.

The wi-fi isn’t great in the depths of Donald Trump’s lower intestines.

You can expect Piers to re-emerge shortly after the president’s next trip to Mickey D’s.

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J.K. Rowling OWNS Piers Morgan in Greatest Subtweet Ever

We’re very sorry to report that Piers Morgan is dead.

Not really, of course.

The British television personality is still breathing.

But he’s just been eviscerated to such an extent by J.K. Rowling that we might as well hold a funeral for the public persona of Piers Morgan. 

He has proved himself to be utterly useless.

It all started last Friday when Morgan was a guest on Real Time with Bill Maher last Friday and went to extremes in his passionate defense of Donald Trump and the President’s controversial immigration ban.

Fellow guest Jim Jeffries simply couldn’t handle it any longer, blowing up at Morgan with two simple words:

F-CK OFF!

Actually, he said a bit more at the time.

“You say ‘He hasn’t done this, he hasn’t done that, he’s not going to do all these things,"” the comedian continued, addressing Morgan while imitating him. “Give him a f-cking chance, mate.”

Because, as Jeffries added, “Hitler didn’t kill the Jews on the first day – he worked up to it.”

Watch the fiery and awkward (and awesome!) exchange below:

Piers Morgan Gets DESTROYED by Comedian Jim Jefferies: Watch!

Rowling was one of the many celebrities who applauded Jeffries and slammed Morgan, leading to an epic feud between the British stars.

After Rowling Tweeted that it was “satisfying” to watch Morgan get cursed off on Real Time, Morgan replied as follows:

“This is why I’ve never read a single word of Harry Potter.”

To which Rowling perfectly fired back:

“Because you had a premonition that one day the author would roar with laughter at seeing you called out for your bullshit on live TV?”

Much to the pleasure of everyone who wanted to see Morgan get his pompous rear end handed to him, the feud went back and forth from there:

“.@piersmorgan If only you’d read Harry Potter, you’d know the downside of sucking up to the biggest bully in school is getting burned alive,” wrote Rowling at one point.

“No bigger bullies right now than the shrieking, hysterical anti-Trump celebrity brigade. You lost, so suck it up Dolores,” replied Morgan.

It was all very entertaining – and we got distracted from it for a few moments after Morgan went after Beyonce – but now it’s become tragic.

We almost feel bad for Morgan, considering the exchange that went down this morning on social media.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, Rowling shared a screenshot of a passage someone wrote about her.

The passage praised the author as someone who “definitely matters” because she encourages “children to read, feel inspired and be creative” and therefore has had a “great impact” on the world at large.

“Just been sent this! Could the writer let me know who he is? I’d love to thank him!” Rowling wrote as a caption.

And then Piers Morgan… that silly, ignorant, oblivious, idiotic Piers Morgan… went ahead and took the bait.

“Priceless #humblebrag BS. Nobody plays the celebrity game more abusively or ruthlessly than you, Ms ‘Intensely Private Billionaire’,” wrote Morgan in response.

But here’s the thing:

MORGAN WROTE THAT! HE’S THE WRITER ROWLING WAS CITING!

Back in 2010, Morgan gushed over Rowling, listing her as the 97th most important British celebrity – but acknowledging in the above passage that she would be higher if played the “celebrity game.”

As you might expect, Twitter users could scarcely contain their glee over this subTweet and Morgan’s perfect reply to it:

Three hours his self-inflicted burn went live, Morgan claimed that he was well aware that he wrote those words about Rowling six-plus years ago.

“Relax, quarter-wit, I knew what it was. Just surprised I put her as high as 97th,” he wrote to a critic.

Yeah. We aren’t buying that. Not for a nanosecond.

If anyone would ever tailor made for House Slytherian, it would be Piers Morgan.

ReadMore…

Piers Morgan Disses Beyonce, Awaits Wrath of Bey Hive

Piers Morgan is one of the great jackasses in the history of civilization, and the world has collectively regretted granting him a modicum of fame for at least the past five years.

But even by the standards of an angry potato whose best known for lip-locking with Donald Trump’s anus like it’s Ryan Gosling in that rain scene from the notebook, Piers had a truly horrendous weekend in terms of PR.

First, the UK’s answer to Alex Jones got roasted to a crisp when he foolishly attempted to sit at the big kids’ table on Bill Maher, and comedian Jim Jefferies told him to “f-ck off” to the delight of every single person on Earth.

Then, Piers made the mistake that he’ll likely play over and over in his mind later tonight as he’s being waterboarded ata CIA black site that’s been commandeered by the most radical fringe group the western world has ever known.

We’re talking of course … about the Beyhive.

As you may have heard, Beyonce performed at the Grammys last night, and the cries of “slay, queen!” could be heard across the land.

The Hive tends to go too far in their praise for the Queen Bey, and last night’s sparkly fertility ceremony was no exception.

“Didn’t really ‘feel’ that Beyonce performance. Seemed heavier on the narcissism than the music,” Morgan tweeted.

Because he requires hate from Internet strangers to live the same way humans need oxygen, he went on:

“Awful acceptance speech too. Looked bored as hell reading it. Come on Beyonce, you’re better than this.”

He added:

Twitter lemmings now exploding with fury that I expressed an opinion about Beyonce’s performance they all secretly agree with.”

The thing is, Piers isn’t completely wrong here, which is unusual for Piers.

The Beyhive is aptly named, as Mrs. Carter’s super-fans have a way of blindly swarming anyone who dares to suggest that Bey is anything less than an actual goddess walking among mere mortals.

The singer’s performance last night was experimental and avant garde, and it’s perfectly acceptable to say it didn’t float your particular boat.

(Or at least it should be …)

But Morgan’s career stopped being about expressing opinions long ago.

Ever since he donned the red cap of the deplorable, Piers has been all about grabbing headlines through blatant trolling, and somehow, social media hasn’t caught on yet.

It’s not easy, because the man will come to your house and scream in your face if it comes to that, but it’s important to remember that Piers doesn’t have the nuke codes.

We can safely ignore him, and there’s a limit to how much damage he can do.

His tiny-fisted sugar daddy, on the other hand …

View Slideshow: 2017 Grammys: Best, Worst, Most WTF Moments

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Piers Morgan Gets DESTROYED by Comedian Jim Jefferies: Watch!

So hey, don"t know if you heard, but Piers Morgan has been quite the douchebag lately.

See, Piers won a season of The Apprentice a few years back, so he"s friendly with Donald Trump. And, as such, he"s been feeling the need to stand up for him now that he"s destroying the entire country.

(Well, there"s that, along with the fact that Piers just seems to enjoy being terrible, but we"ll focus on the Trump connection for now.)

Last month, after the super successful Women"s March, he made some ignorant comments about how he wanted to plan a "Men"s March" so he could "protest at the creeping global emasculation of my gender by rabid feminists."

What a loon, right?

But in a new appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher, he just got worse.

The topic of Trump came up, and Piers immediately got defensive. Bill began to set him straight, bringing up the Muslim Ban, and Piers said that there is no Muslim Ban.

And comedian Jim Jefferies, who was also on the panel, let out a hearty "F-ck off."

"You say "He hasn"t done this, he hasn"t done that, he"s not going to do all these things,"" Jim continued. "Give him a f-cking chance, mate."

Because, as he added, "Hitler didn"t kill the Jews on the first day — he worked up to it."

Piers attempted to jump in again, calling that kind of talk hysterical and over-the-top, but Jim cut him off by telling him that he just likes that he has "a famous friend" in Trump.

Watch the full (NSFW!) clip below:

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