Jersey Shore Recap: Vinny vs. Angelina vs. Common Sense

They… are… back!

Well, they were back.

But. technicality aside, the cast of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation returned to Seaside Heights on Thursday night’s new episode of this MTV revival, hunkering back down in their former quarters and, well…

… getting very drunk!

After the group took numerous shots to celebrate their reunion in the Garden State, Snooki spotted a note from Danny. It read:

“Got you some drinks and food. Have a good time. Please don’t trash the house.”

LOL, right? Did he forget to whom he was writing?!?

While getting a family dinner ready, a rather pregnant Deena asked Snooki to make her her “famous grilled cheese.”

No problem. Easy enough.

From there, The Situation insisted on making his favorite Funfetti cake and all seemed perfectly calm when the clique sound down to dine together.

But then Angelina asked if she could make a speech, Vinny jokingly turned her down, a bit of banter ensued — and then things got ugly.

Pivarnick seemingly referred either to her time as a high school classmate’s or Vinny, or to the time the two smushed, when she told the table that she had a “loaded gun” in her “chamber.”

What kind of dirt was she implying she had on her housemate?

“Well, I don’t have a chamber on you because I don’t think about you ever,” Vinny replied.

“Don’t lie! You think about me day, f-cking afternoon and night,” Angelina clapped back

“These two got beef right here,” said The Situation, while Snooki chimed in as follows:

“I am praying that Angelina and Vinny hook up. There is so much sexual tension.”

And this is when Angelina let her bomb drop, screaming at Vinny:

“You know you used to hit me up back in the day and f-cking try to f-ck me! And say you wanted to take me out on a date and f-cking get to know me!”

Oh. That was it?

Yes. But it was enough to cause everyone to lose it.

“This is why I hate having this girl here,” Vinny said.

“If you don’t like me, my question to you is, why’d you bang me then? Even if it was a hate bang, you wouldn’t hate bang a girl you didn’t think was attractive,” she hilariously responded.

Is this how folks flirt in Staten Island, Paul D wondered?

Angelina eventually shot up from the table and started chasing Vinny around the house because he called her a “f-ck.”

The argument only escalated when Sitch handed her a ketchup bottle as ammunition and Jenni gave Vin bottles of salad dressing and mustard.

Oh, yes: FOOD FIGHT!

Both Angelina and Vinny ended up covered in condiments when the latter reached for the fire extinguisher. He positively blasted Angelina with it.

“Yo, Danny is not gonna be happy about this,” Mike said amid the obviously planned chaos.

“No!” Snooki yelled back. “We’re like older now! We’re like 30!”

After an awkward exchange with Danny the following day at the T-shirt store, the group got back to the Shore House and Sitch ate his beloved ake.

However, for some werd reason, Angelina dared herself to stick her bare butt in the delicacy. And then she did just that and then she chased the guys around the house.

And that was basically that.

The writers really need to work on some actual storylines, don’t they?

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Justin Bieber"s Engagement Note to Hailey Baldwin, "Everything Makes Sense!"

Justin Bieber just broke his silence on his engagement to Hailey Baldwin … and JB held nothing back in describing his emotions. Justin basically wrote a love letter to his fiancee, saying … “I am soooo in love with everything about you! So…

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Kim Kardashian Jokes About Kanye West Split, Shows Actual Sense of Humor

Based on, like, every Kim Kardashian photo of all-time, we’re well aware that this reality star has cleavage.

Like, A LOT of cleavage.

But who would have guessed that Kim also has a sense of humor?!?

We’re not trying to be mean here, it’s just… when was the last time you heard Kim say anything funny or even especially original?

Perhaps aware of her reputation as wooden and boring, Kardashian jumped on Twitter this week and made an actual joke.

In response to Kanye West returning to Twitter and, among other ramblings, stating that he wants to “get rid of everything,” the rapper’s wife shot back:

Wait…EVERYTHING?!?!?!

She even included an emoji of a woman raising her hand afterward:

Good friend Chrissy Teign (who has never had a problem being funny) played along with Kim’s divorce quip, Tweeting in reply to the above message:

“I have an air mattress here and I have been itching to bust it out if you need.”

And this prompted Kardashian to continue with her joke, proving she’s capable of actually playing along:

Might need some more for the kids? Just not clear on what everything really means. I need clarity. Thanks for being such a good friend.

Maybe John can call and inquire? But maybe he means friends too? This is confusing.

Kardashian has been focusing a lot on her bikini body these days.

(She also Tweeted this yesterday: “Day 1 of my cleanse is done and I didn’t cheat. I was even surrounded my donuts. I’m really proud of myself.”)

As a result, is it possible she’s been ignoring Kanye’s needs?

Has her marriage suffered in the wake of her and West welcoming a third child a few months ago?

Has everything they’ve been through over the past couple years finally taken a fatal toll on the twosome’s marriage?

No, of course not.

We’re just being silly here, much as Kim was very obviously being in her series of Tweets.

Aware that many websites out there would run with this story as if there was actual trouble in Kimye paradise, the former sex tape star and producer made an attempt to stop this rumor before it got started.

She concluded her string of Kanye-related Tweets as follows:

“For anyone who has absolutely no humor in their soul please know my tweets are a joke and I will die laughing if I see blogs and media really think I am being serious.

“So don’t even try it.”

You probably won’t be shocked to learn that a handful of blogs out there did, indeed, try it.

But not The Hollywood Gossip!

We were never fooled and we are not desperate enough for clicks that we’ll run some misleading headline about Kim and Kanye.

Back in early 2017, there appeared to be a few legitimate rumors about a possible Kardashian and West break-up. So, yes, we published those a few times.

However, the stars seem stronger than ever now, having overcome Kim’s robbery in Paris and Kanye’s subsequent mental breakdown a couple years back.

They now have three kids at home and seem content to actually remain farther out of the spotlight than ever before.

Maybe Kanye will release a new album at some point?

Perhaps Kim will pose nude once again in Playboy?

Until then, however, the Internet is forced to conjure up stories about the relationship based on a few clearly sarcastic Tweets.

A whole lot has changed, hasn’t it?

View Slideshow: Kim Kardashian: 14 Facts You Definitely Did Not Know About Her

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Farrah Abraham Goes on ANOTHER Teen Mom Rant, Continues to Make No Sense

Farrah Abraham … how does she do it?

How does she wake up every single day and manage to go through her life being the way that she is?

This isn’t an insult either, not really, it’s a sincere question: how does she function without having a real ability to communicate with other people?

We’ve seen it on Teen Mom OG, we’ve seen it all over her social media accounts: whether she’s speaking with another person or just writing her thoughts down, she just doesn’t make sense.

Ever.

She strings words together in a way that, if you really try or if you’re familiar with her particular flavor of word salad, you can kind of understand what she’s getting at, but not really.

And when she’s feeling some big emotions?

Forget it — don’t even bother trying to decipher the thoughts that come out of her head then.

But as hard as it is to understand her, we just can’t help but keep up with Farrah and all of her many, many shenanigans.

And since MTV has been promoting the scene in which she gets fired from Teen Mom a lot this week, there’s been a lot to keep up with.

A few days ago, Farrah shared a clip from that scene and went on a big ol’ rant about it, about how she was “bullied, surrounded & hurt by all the manipulation.

She accused producers of trying to “be little” her while she was trying to become “the best Farrah I can be.”

It was … well, it sure was something.

But it obviously wasn’t enough to sooth her troubled mind.

She picked up her rant again yesterday, sharing that same clip once again on Twitter and writing “I appreciate this great example of being a strong women through some deceitful horrible plotted contrived times on this show.”

“It’s horrible when people play dumb act ignorant like they have no clue of what their consequences for their actions our as their older then I am.”

(It feels important at this point to remind everyone that this woman is homeschooling her child.)

Over on Instagram, she shared the same clip and the same message, but since she was unburdened by a character limit there, she decided to share more of her thoughts and feelings.

A whole, whole lot more.

This time, she felt the need to go after specific producers, telling one named Kristen “don’t ever conspire & do illegal behavior with men and women to treat a single mother, her child & my parents and friends badly.”

“I’ve wasted my breathe talking to both you & Jordan had amazing jobs & paychecks for a year and to act stupid and continue to upset and go against my beliefs, life expectations I set clearly from day one.”

She advised poor Kristen to “do your work as a producer, and stop trying to take my energy with your pathetic, negative behavior, to you, morgan & everyone in post Justice will be served have a great life away from mine because none of you lead ethical, moral, safe environments & are the example of horrible producing to docuseries.”

So does she think she’s being clear when she communicates like this? Like, in her head, does this all make perfect sense?

Because it really, really does not.

Farrah also accused the production team of a “legit fail of tracking my real life story line,” and she said that she “might as well be on a scripted soap opera as the stupid energy and contrived scenes are a waste of time to my real life and real challenges.”

This actual hero went on to say that “it’s taken me countless years of therapy, family therapy, self improvement coaching, opening 3 businesses, traveling the world & educating myself beyond our traditional systems so I can lead teams, make the best tv, be the best person I can be & be credible for all of my works I achieve.”

She’s trying to say something about the authenticity of the show, but see how it sort of turned into her bragging about herself? Classic Farrah.

View Slideshow: Farrah Abraham: A Tumultuous Teen Mom Life in GIFs

“I owe everything to God,” she continued, “and to all the negatives I turn into positives I see how others can hate or be jealous but no one has over come the hurdles I have, no one strives to have work ethic as I do, & no one truly takes responsibility for all their actions as I have.”

“My social justice is a success for the MTV Teen Mom project.”

… OK, girl. Sure. Whatever you say.

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Justin Bieber Breaks Silence, Makes Very Little Sense

Justin Bieber has canceled the remaining dates on his world tour.

This much we know for certain.

But one question continues to hang over the artist after he made this announcement late last month: WHY?!?!?!?!?

Are the rumors true? Has Bieber really undergone a spiritual awakening as a result of a close bond with some pastor named Carl Lentz?

Might he even give up music entirely in order to focus on religion?

The singer shared a lengthy Instagram message on Wednesday night that sought to clear up confusion around his recent decision and recent actions.

But did he really accomplish his goal? Or did he raise the eyebrows of followers around the globe with a bunch of rambling nonsense?

“I’m so grateful for this journey with all of you,” Bieber wrote to open his social media post, adding:

“I’m grateful for the tours but most of all I am grateful I get to go through this life WITH YOU! Learning and growing hasn’t always been easy but knowing I’m not alone has kept me going.”

Okay, sure. Whatever. Nice sentiment, Biebs.

“I have let my insecurities get the best of me at times,” he continued.

“I let my broken relationships dictate the way I acted towards people and the way I treated them! I let bitterness, jealousy and fear run my life!!!”

We aren’t sure what Justin is referring to here.

But it sounds profound.

The star then went on to seemingly address chatter concerning his relationship with Lentz’s and Lentz’s controversial church.

“I am extremely blessed to have people in the past few years help me build my character back up reminding me of who I am and who I want to be!!!

“My past decisions and past relationships won’t dictate my future decisions and my future relationships. I’m VERY aware I’m never gonna be perfect, and I’m gonna keep making mistakes.

“I wanna be a man that learns from them and grows from them!! I want you all to know this tour has been unbelievable and has taught me so much about myself.

“I am reminded of how blessed I am to have a voice in this world. I’ve learned the more you appreciate your calling the more you want to protect your calling.”

Is Bieber talking about his singing career? Is that his “calling?”

Or might he be talking about a far bigger purpose? This is the sort of language folks use when discussing a Higher Power.

Still, Justin makes a point of emphasizing that he isn’t through with music. He just has a lot to work on before hitting the road again… and/or before having any children.

“Me taking this time right now is me saying I want to be SUSTAINABLE.

“I want my career to be sustainable, but I also want my mind heart and soul to be sustainable so that I can be the man I want to be, the husband I eventually want to be and the father I want to be.”

The Instagram entry, which reads like a plea for understanding, concluded as follows:

This message is just an opportunity for you to know my heart, I’m not expecting anyone to understand, but I do want people to have an opportunity to know where I am coming from!.

THIS MESSAGE IS VERY GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT BUT ITS FROM THE HEART.

BUT I THINK THERES SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT IMPERFECTIONS!

So there you have it, Beliebers.

What do you think?

Has Bieber once again saved himself from ridicule and from losing many fans by mentioning his gratitude a number of times and by trying to sound all deep and meaningful?

Or has he mistreated his supporters too many times at this point and you’re simply done with him?

View Slideshow: Justin Bieber Fans Offer #PrayersForBieber in Wake of Tour Cancelation

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Jessica Simpson Appears on Ellen, Makes Little to No Sense

When Jessica Simpson gets inappropriately shamed as a mother on Twitter, we rush to the singer"s defense.

However, when Jessica Simpson appears as a guest opposite Ellen DeGeneres and rambles incoherently about marriage, mermaids and contraception… well…

… we apologize.

But we"re gonna go right ahead and join the chorus of those openly mocking the artist.

To open their chat, Simpson immediately announced ”I’m not pregnant on your show,” trying to shoot down rumors that she’s expecting, but using an odd phrasing to do it.

Are you sure, Ellen asked?

"Oh, gosh," Jessica responded. "We had an IUD. Nothing"s gonna get in that uterus!"

Okay then. Fair enough.

DeGeneres then asked Simpson how long she"s been with husband Eric Johnson, a pretty straightforward inquiry that was still somehow botched.

"Seven years now. Well, coming on seven years. Well actually, seven," Simpson replied, digging an even bigger hole for herself by adding:

"It’s a long time. I don’t know if I’ve ever had a seven-year relationship. Other than with a woman. Well, not that kind.”

Of course, Ellen is in "that kind" of a relationship with a woman, which prompted the following look on her part:

Next topic: What do Simpson and Johnson do together for fun?

"We kinda like TV shows, but then he snores through them," the guest said. "He golfs, I don"t. Hmmm, we love our kids?"

Simpson proceeded to explain that she likes to get a back massage and that Johnson manages to give her one "even while he"s snoring."

How generous of him? We guess?

As for the "man handlers" who worked at her daughter"s mermaid-themed birthday party? And how they went to the bathroom during the event?

You"re going to need to click PLAY on the video below in order to hear Jessica"s fascinating explanation. (You know you want to!)

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Catelynn Lowell & Tyler Baltierra Respond to Backlash Over Fake Pregnancy Joke: Get a Sense of Humor, People!

Earlier today, we reported on one of the stranger Teen Mom social media controversies in recent memory.

It all began when Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra began discussing their desire to have a third child on Twitter.

It’s anyone’s guess as to why a married couple would need to have such a conversation on social media rather than, ya know, face-to-face, but while the parental figures of the Teen Mom franchise love ‘em some free publicity, we doubt the Baltierras expected this:

Things started out innocently enough, with Catelynn tweeting:

“Wahhh I’m ready for another baby @TylerBaltierra.”

Tyler (or T-Balz, as we like to call him) wrote back, “Me too babe.”

That’s when Catelynn made the (arguably unfortunate) decision to tweet the following photo:

She captioned the image:

“Proud to announce a new baby Baltierra @tylerbaltierramtv.”

Clearly it was a joke, but if you’ve looked at a calendar recently, you know that it’s 2017, and 2017 is the year in which everyone gets pissed off about everything.

A number of fans didn’t think the joke was funny for a number of reasons.

Some thought Lowell was really pregnant and … felt let down, we guess?

Others thought the joke was insensitive to those who struggled with infertility.

Still others blamed Tyler and Catelynn for that Kendall Jenner Pepsi commercial.

Okay, we’re joking about that last part, but in all seriousness, a good number of fans were legitimately outraged, and Tyler responded by basically informing them that he’d run out of f–ks to give long, long ago:

“Apparently the world can’t take jokes anymore…don’t worry #TeenMomOG will be back on the air soon so we can disappoint you some more,” Tyler tweeted.

“I actually love all of those critics. The fake profile pics & repetitive insults based on the lack of creativity…they just crack me up.”

Asked if he could see how some might have thought the joke was insensitive, Tyler responded:

“Yes, I’m the lowest piece of s–t, insensitive, entitled, asshole & a sorry excuse of a human being & I shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce.”

Man, when that guy does sarcasm, he does sarcasm.

For her part, Catelynn responded in a very different and much, much more confusing way:

“Why don’t u just go back to ur real family?” she tweeted.

“Not like we have mattered anyways.. to u it’s just the thought that mattered”

Uh … we really have no idea as to what that might mean.

We’re thinking Catelynn meant to subtweet someone, but instead she just tossed that bad boy out there with no context.

Of course, we think it’s safe to say she wasn’t in a great mood when she wrote it, so you can be sure it will lead to more rumors about Catelynn and Tyler getting divorced.

This has been Teen Mom Twitter Theater.

Tune in the next time something pops off, which should be in 20 minutes or so.

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Devon Still Finally "Has a Sense of Normal" ... After Leah Goes 2 Years Cancer Free (VIDEO)

Devon Still says he’s BURSTING WITH HAPPINESS thanks to his daughter, Leah, celebrating 2 years of being in remission from cancer … and says they finally have a sense of normal back in their lives. As for Leah, Devon says she’s really enjoying…

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Gilbert Gottfried Does Alan Thicke Impression, Honors Friend"s Sense Of Humor (VIDEO)

Gilbert Gottfried was a regular on Alan Thicke’s late night ’80s talk show “Thicke of the Night” and they spent a lot of time cracking jokes about Alan’s singing. Gilbert was out in NYC just hours after TMZ broke the news about Thicke’s sudden…

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Wendy Williams Addresses Taylor Swift-Kim Kardashian Feud, Actually Makes Sense

Wendy Williams has spent the last few months taking jabs at Taylor Swift every chance she gets.

First, she called Swift a biatch. Then, she made fun of Swift’s body. Then, she mocked Taylor’s romance with Tom Hiddleston.

So now that Swift has sort of been outed as a liar by Kim Kardashian, Williams is teeing off on the singer, right?

She’s bringing her best insult game and really letting Swift have it, no?

Actually… no. Not quite.

As the celebrity gossip world knows by now, Kardashian dropped a bombshell via Snapchat on Sunday night, actually releasing videos that depict husband Kanye West talking to Swift about the song “Famous.”

In the footage, we hear Kanye telling his former foe about plans to reference the two of them having sex together in one verse, an idea Taylor sounds totally fine with.

She even thanks Kanye for letting her in on his creative process.

Here. In case you missed it, take a look at the viral video below:

A video posted by The Shade Room (@theshaderoom) on Jul 17, 2016 at 8:20pm PDT

Why is this such a big deal?

Because Swift previously claimed West never consulted her about the controversial lyrics in “Famous,” insisting she was blindsided by the misogynistic message of the track.

Kim has seemingly made Swift into a liar, although Taylor is correct in that the footage above does NOT include West asking her if she’s okay with him calling her a “bitch.”

And that’s where he main beef with the single lies.

In her analysis of the situation this morning, Williams acknowledged this final point, actually taking the side of Taylor Swift for a bit.

“OK, so what has been exposed is what Kanye has said all along,” she explained. “That he talked to Taylor about the song and that he was going to include her in it.

“What he didn’t tell her is that the last line, ‘I made the B-famous."”

Wendy then went on a tangent about how you can’t throw about this B-Word (or the N-Word) here and there and pick and choose when you get offended by it.

The talk show host does go on to point some blame in the direction of Swift, however.

“Taylor should of explained she didn’t know all of the lyrics…

“She totally acted like ‘I didn’t know anything about it. Kanye was wrong on every single level.’

“In the meantime Kanye sounded very nice on the phone. I think he only has two levels, though. Either high intense or low key, nice. There’s nothing in-between.”

View Slideshow: 9 Times Kim Kardashian Has Klashed with Kritics

In conclusion, Williams says the following:

“Sounds to me like they had a very lovely conversation. Taylor knew what he was going to say but it also sounds like Taylor has a right to be pissed because he ended up using, ‘I made the B famous."”

You know we’re in trouble when Wendy Williams is the person making the most sense.

It does seem as if Swift played up her ignorance of the song too much… but everyone is making it sound as if Kim completely outed Swift as a giant liar.

In reality, though, Kanye rapping that he made that “bitch famous” as a reference to Swift was clearly the most offensive aspect to the song.

And that is never addressed in the scandalous Snapchat video.

So aren’t we just back to where we started? Isn’t this much ado about nothing, as boring as that is for a gossip website to write?

Donald Trump to Host Saturday Night Live, Feign Sense of Humor

If you like toupee jokes and pursed-lipped statements of intellectual superiority, then you’re in luck!

NBC announced today that presidential candidate and long-lost, Upper East Side cousin of Yosemite Sam, Donald Trump will be hosting Saturday Night Live on November 7.

The show has had a lot of fun with the Donald in the past, most recently when Hillary Clinton did her best Trump impression during a guest spot in the season premiere.

So in a way, it makes sense that Trump would take an “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” approach to the iconic sketch show, but it’s a risky move for a candidate that many already have trouble taking seriously.

Of course, this won’t be the real estate mogul and former reality TV star’s first trip to Studio 8H.

Trump hosted the show back in 2004, when The Apprentice was just beginning its run on NBC.

While it remains unclear if Trump’s poll numbers will benefit from the hosting gig, there’s no doubt that the move will pay off big time for Lorne Michaels and the folks at SNL.

Trump has proven to be a major ratings magnet at the GOP primary debates and even for struggling political talk shows like Meet the Press. 

Of course, there’s still a few weeks before Trump takes the stage, so don’t be surprised if the show rubs him the wrong way and he has a change of heart. We hear he’s got a bit of a temper.

View Slideshow: 19 Things Donald Trump Has Actually Said While Running for President

Scott Disick: Totally Lost! Making No Sense! Blowing Any Chance with Kourtney!

Scott Disick briefly looked to be back on track and focusing on his kids, but sources close to the reality star say he’s once again adrift and rudderless.

Scott “is totally lost right now,” an inside source tells People. “He’s just going from place to place, doing things that aren’t making sense.”

“He’s recording a video. No, wait, he’s building his brand. He’s hanging out with brand new people. That’s sort of his issue in general.”

The long and short of it? “He can’t focus.”

Disick sparked buzz that he’s starring in French Montana’s music video last week, and he’s been spotted partying with Kylie Jenner.

There is also talk of Disick dating Kimberly Stewart, his ex’s former best friend, though Stewart’s mother denied the rumor recently.

Speaking of his longtime partner, just last month we were hearing talk of Disick getting back with Kourtney Kardashian, or trying to.

That ship has sailed, sources say.

“The thought was that he was going to try for a reconciliation, but now it seems like that’s not going to happen,” one insider explains.

“He isn’t working on himself, which is one of the conditions he has to meet for Kourtney to take him back … he’s not working on himself at all.”

“Everyone is very worried about him,” the source adds. “Whatever his problems are with the family, no one wants him to be hurt.”

The parents of three broke up in early summer after he was photographed partying in Monte Carlo with another woman, Chloe Bartoli.

People close to the hard-partying Lord Disick say they don’t even know if he’s sober or drinking again, and that uncertainty isn’t good.

“He’s not talking about it. Scott has in the past been willing to talk about what he’s going through, seeking advice,” the source says.

“He’s not seeking advice from anyone anymore, probably because he knows he’s not going to like the advice that we give him.”

Kourtney, meanwhile, is doing quite well, and seems to show us every day just how little she regrets kicking Scott to the curb …

View Slideshow: 17 Photos of Kourtney Kardashian Showing Scott Disick What He’s Missing