Following the reveal of Shay’s secret, Lisa and the SUR crew forced a reeling Sheena to rethink her life on Vanderpump Rules Season 4 Episode 4?
Meanwhile, Kristen and James entered couples counseling, while so much else went down with sub-human Jax, Tom S-quared and the WeHo gang …
Scheana’s sad about her marriage and wants everyone to know it. But the show must go on, and model for Pucker & Pout she will.
Back at Sur, Jax sidles up to the hostess stand to ask Lala about her home state of Utah, and how Mormon women stay virtuous while simultaneously getting their rocks off.
Thankfully, Lisa put us out of our misery and sent him back to the bar to serve sh– drinks.
Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval acted as the episode’s moral compasses, suggesting that the days of hourly rates, print modeling and no health insurance may have passed.
It’s time to start acting (or at least think about acting) like a grown-up.
The Toms have this brilliant idea to take Lisa’s Sangria line national.
To “St. Louis!” they declared at Villa Rosa, ready to tell Lisa, Pandora and Jason the businessman model how they can expand Lisa’s empire to a few restaurants in Sandoval’s hometown.
“Boys, we’ve just come back from abroad,” Jason tells the Toms, explaining that he and Pandora have already gone global with the product.
The dumb dumbs, who have dressed ambitiously for the meeting (Lexus commercial-ambitious, to be exact), were ready to walk out of that meeting with a salary and benefits package.
Pandora promptly took the wind out of their sales and instead asked for a business plan.
St. Louis will have to wait.
On a more serious note, Vanderpump Rules is has done the impossible by turning a pill addiction into the cross Scheana must bear.
The Toms stage the most half-assed intervention (they did the best they could) for Scheana’s husband, Shay, whose been hiding out at his parents’ house in an attempt to figure out his life.
Shay’s eight-year pill addiction admission fascinates/horrifies the dumb dumbs, who spent half their time telling Scheana that she was ruining their intervention by making it about her. They were right.
The storyline gets worse later in the show, when Scheana suggested that instead of taking pills and drinking to an extreme, Shay work on getting a nice buzz.
This would make Scheana’s life easier since she runs with a party crowd, and changing that is not an option.
So, Shay can learn to get his buzz on, or he can get out of dodge.
Get out of dodge, good man. Get. Out.
Scheana’s also administering drug tests for Shay. Which….what?
Bless Lisa for being the actual grown-up in a situation that requires a very grown-up attitude.
Scheana stops by Pump, looking thrilled that the weight of her husband’s “problem” has more or less been lifted off her shoulders.
Not so, according to Lisa. Shay has a problem that he’s been hiding from his wife for eight years, and there is an addiction there that needs to be dealt with.
Nah, Scheana claims. He doesn’t need rehab. He’ll just sip his libation and work on a buzz.
Lisa advises Scheana to get her life together and open those Japanese anime eyes. Shay needs help. Not a off-market drug test.
Do we even bother talking about Kristen and James? At what point in a relationship do you throw your hands up and admit that you’re together because you’re both pathetic and lonely?
Kristen dragged James’ hungover ass to couple’s therapy, which was a bad idea from the start. The therapist watched in horror as James gave Kristen a colorful tongue-lashing.
James’ present-day Instagrams are full of him and Lala, so hopefully the audience will be put out of its misery soon enough.
Katie’s hair looks great, by the way.
As always, follow the link to watch Vanderpump rules online and hit the comments below to discuss how much better you feel about your own life now.