When Leonardo DiCaprio lost all that weight and shaved his beard, we figured he was just tired of looking like he recently finished filming an episode of Naked and Afraid Near a McDonald’s.
But now, if you believe OK! magazine (which you shouldn’t), it seems that Leo might have trimmed down and cleaned up so in order to put on a tux and mourn the demise of the greatest man-whore career in Hollywood history:
Yes, the tabloid claims that DiCaprio and Kelly Rohrbach are engaged.
Why make such a major commitment after just four months of dating? Because aside from the many ways in which she’s just like all his other girlfriends, Kelly is nothing like Leo’s other girlfriends!
Sure, Kelly is a model and she’s skinny, blonde and in her early 20s, just like Leo’s many past flavors of the month, but while those ladies only knew him as the King of the world, Kelly appreciates that he wants to save the world:
“Kelly is incredibly smart and she understands Leo,” a source tells the tabloid.
“She shares his passion for tackling social issues like global warming and world poverty. They connect on an intellectual level, which is new for him. She is more than just a pretty face.”
The insider goes on to say that she’s mastered such difficult “looks” as Blue Steel and Le Tigre. We kid.
In fairness, there have been rumors that Rohrbach is “the one” for DiCaprio since early in their relationship, so maybe…sorry, we tried to finish typing that sentence without spewing coffee all over our keyboards in a fit of hysterical laughter.
Now we’ve got a mess on our hands.