Over the years, we’ve brought you many stories about the quirky men and women who help make Florida Florida.
But all of those drunk doctors and burrito brawlers may have just been out Florida’ed by a 47-year-old male alligator named Gwendolyn.
You see, Gwendolyn isn’t your average run of the mill gator who subsists on a diet of small animals and Florida residents.
He’s a housebroken pet who apparently doesn’t get too hung-up about gender stuff.
For most of the past five decades, Gwendolyn has lived with retired firefighter David Van Buren, who informally adopted the massive reptile when he wandered into his home when Van Buren was just 9 years old.
“Once he was in the house, he didn’t want to leave,” Van Buren recently told Inside Edition.
“I think it took us like three weeks to get him to go back outside. He was on the couch all the time or in the bathtub.”
Gwen even joined Van Buren he went off to college.
It’s not hard to see what Gwendolyn gets out of the arrangement:
Van Buren says the gator eats a steady diet of pizza and snackfood, such as Chips Ahoy! cookies.
(Check out the clip above to see Gwen devour a few slices. You’ll instantly feel better about your own eating habits.)
Unfortunately, that diet has resulted in one gargantuan gator.
Gwendolyn has reached over 13 feet in length, a fact that recently led Florida Fish and Wildlife authorities to inform Van Buren that he’s too big to be kept as a pet.
Van Buren fought the court order to turn Gwendolyn over to the authorities and because sometimes things work out in this world (and this is Florida) it looks like he’ll win his case.
The Fish and Wildlife Department has reportedly agreed with Van Buren’s argument that the best outcome for Gwendolyn would be continuing to live in an enclosure in Van Buren’s backyard.
We don’t see how anyone who’s seen his diet could disagree.
