Johnny Depp: Drunk and Talking Trump on Ellen

Both personally and professionally, Johnny Depp seems to be in a bit of a slump.

And by “a bit of a slump,” we mean we’ve seen episodes of Intervention that are less depressing than this guy’s current press tour.

Depp may be promoting a Disney movie these days (Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Yes, Another One), but he’s sticking with the thick-tongued persona of the guy from your local dive bar who’s sipping a PBR when you stop in at 11 am because you left your bank card there the night before.

The recent tabloid headlines about Depp have been … not great.

A pair of lawsuits has revealed that Depp is broke (by Hollywood standards. He still has like 12 houses.) following decades of extravagant spending.

Execs at the management group that recently filed a counter-suit after Depp accused them of mishandling his funds claim that the actor spends $ 30,000 a month on wine and shells out millions to staff properties he never visits.

All of this comes on the heels of Depp’s ugly divorce from Amber Heard, during which the once-beloved screen icon was accused of being verbally and physically abusive to his ex.

Clearly, this is a man whose public image is in need of some serious rehab.

Unfortunately, like an alcoholic version of the stoner Towelie from South Park, Depp apparently decided to get just a little bit drunk before embarking on a mission to save his career:

Johnny Depp: Drunk on Ellen?

That’s Depp appearing on Ellen yesterday, and his appearance has been described a number of different ways.

Some have kindly and euphemistically described the actor as seeming a bit “tired” or “out of it.”

We assume they’ve either forgotten that this is the dude who spends a middle-class annual salary on wine each month, or they’re just being polite.

Either way, we’re gonna go ahead and speculate that Johnny’s had a few.

Look, we’re not doctors. Nor are we the bartender who served Depp him before the show.

So we can’t assess his exact level of intoxication, but that is a man with a bellyful of a ’47 Bordeaux that costs more than your first car if we’ve ever seen one.

Johnny Depp Talks Trump

But hey, we’re not judging.

If Depp can get loaded and still dish out Trump zingers like he does in the clip above, we say go for it.

Of course, we’re not the dude’s accountant.

He probably feels differently.

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Jimmy Fallon Addresses Alcoholism Rumors: I"m Not Drunk Every Night!

For years now, rumors about Jimmy Fallon’s alleged drinking problem have been circulating online and in the tabloid media.

The speculation was spurred by numerous witnesses who gave accounts of Fallon frequently getting “very drunk” at NYC bars after completing filming on The Tonight Show.

There were even reports that Fallon’s bosses at NBC were concerned about his hard-partying ways.

Now, Fallon is finally speaking out about the controversies that have plagued his squeaky-clean nice guy image in a candid interview with The New York Times.

While Fallon’s comments about tousling Donald Trump’s hair in a much-derided pre-election interview have attracted the most attention on social media, the 42-year-old comic also made some surprising revelations about his fondness for the sauce.

Asked about a New York Post piece that described him as “out of control” and attributed Fallon’s recent injuries to drunken accidents, the host shrugged off the accusations – but tellingly did not deny that he’s a heavy drinker.

“I could never do a day-to-day job if I was drinking every night,” Fallon insisted.

He went on to claim that the rumors about his drinking are part of an effort to further demoralize him during his current career slump.

“That’s just kicking you when you’re down,” he told the newspaper.

After years of late night dominance, Fallon’s show has now fallen to second place in the ratings behind the much more politically-charged Late Night with Stephen Colbert.

Industry analysts believe Fallon’s young, mostly left-leaning audience felt alienated by his controversial Trump interview, but the amiable SNL alum says his intentions have been misinterpreted:

“I didn’t do it to humanize him,” Fallon said.

“I almost did it to minimize him. I didn’t think that would be a compliment: ‘He did the thing that we all wanted to do.’”

He added that becoming a frequent butt of jokes on social media has taken an unexpected emotional toll:

“I’m a people pleaser,” he continued.

“If there’s one bad thing on Twitter about me, it will make me upset. So, after this happened, I was devastated. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just trying to have fun.”

As for the rumors of a feud between Fallon and Colbert, Jimmy insists that the hosts remain close friends and claims he’s never been one to worry about the ratings.

View Slideshow: 51 Hilarious Segments from The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon

“We’re winning in something. People in the height requirement between 5-7 and 5-11, we’re No. 1, from 11:50 to 11:55,” he joked.

“I never, ever care. I’ll know when someone fires me.”

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Chris Soules: Was He Drunk at Time of Fatal Crash?

Chris Soules is already in very big trouble with the law.

As you likely know by now, Soules was arrested last Monday morning for leaving the scene of an accident that left one individual dead.

But the former Bachelor star could be in much, much, MUCH bigger trouble with the law if authorities determine he was drunk at the time of a crash that claimed the life of 68-year old Kenneth Mosher.

This would be the case for anyone.

Being drunk while getting into an accident is obviously worse in the eyes of the law than being sober; it shows one has acted in a far more irresponsible manner

For Soules, however, this piece of information is especially critical because he has an extensive criminal record, including multiple past citations for traffic and alcohol violations.

The ex-reality star could be charged with vehicular manslaughter if he’s proven to have been drinking.

According to various outlets, Buchanan County officials have stated that Soules “possessed alcoholic beverages/containers” at the time of the crash.

Following the tragic incident, however, he didn’t allow officers to enter his home after they obtained a search warrant.

Therefore, many hours passed before his blood-alcohol level was tested at the police station and it’s unlikely it will turn up positive.

Soules has not been charged with any alcohol-related offense at this time, and an insider tells Entertainment Tonight that Soules was not drunk when his truck plowed into Mosher’s tractor.

This same insider provided a few more details regarding what transpired, as well.

“The truck Chris was driving was one of the old work trucks they had on the land there,” the source tells ET. “Not his everyday truck. He was near his land when the crash happened.”

Indeed, Soules was about 15 miles from his farm in Iowa at the time of impact.

“An onlooker stopped, pulled over and told Chris to call 911. So, he did,” the source expounds. “Chris climbed out of his passenger side window and called 911.”

We have a recording of that call.

Lawyers for the star point to it as evidence that Soules did all he could to help the victim, while also providing his name and taking responsibility for what happened.

Listen to the 911 call now:

Chris Soules 911 Call

Soules did flee the scene, however, because he was “in shock” this source alleges.

Critics, though, believe Soules fled in order to go home and sober up and avoid the dangerous charge of DUI.

Either way, a relative who lives nearby was the person who came around and gave Soules a ride home.

Authorities are working to interview this relative and possibly even search his or her vehicle for more evidence.

Chris is currently wearing an ankle monitor as he awaits his next court appearance, which is scheduled for tomorrow, May 2.

He also was asked to turn in his passport, which means he will NOT be filming an ABC special that he was scheduled to appear on outside of the country.

It’s safe to assume this was Bachelor in Paradise.

It’s also safe to assume this is the least of his concerns right now.

Earlier this week, a rep for Soules released a statement that confirms Soules has hired three high-powered Des Moines, Iowa lawyers.

They have asked the public “not to prejudge this case based on media coverage,” while stating their client “acted reasonably” in the aftermath of the crash, citing the above 911 tape as proof.

“My family and I are overwhelmed with this tragedy, but we are sticking together and we’ll get through it,” Soules himself said in a statement obtained by In Touch Weekly shortly after he posted $ 10,00 bail.

“Thank you for reaching out.”

View Slideshow: 20 Celebrities Who Very Likely Killed Someone

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24 Drunk Ideas That Seemed Genius at the Time

You should never drink and drive.

This is a given. It should be a rule all men and women across all age groups follow religiously.

As for the actions listed and pictured down below? You probably shouldn"t do any of them while drunk, either.

Then again, these people likely only did them BECAUSE they were drunk. Talk about a conundrum!

Scroll around to point, laugh and shake your head over their antics, while hopefully taking notes not to try these at home yourself in the future…

1. Not Waiting for a Locksmith

Who has time to even attempt to jimmy a lock when there’s mac and cheese or something to eat inside your apartment?

2. Stuffing Many, MANY Straws Into Your Mouth

Ummm… guys? They’re stuck.

3. Playing Frogger with Incominc Traffic, Without Pants Fully On

Even if you get dared to do so, just… don’t.

4. Trying to Sleep in a Phone Booth

This is sort of amazing. But most people couldn’t pull it off.

5. Doing This to a Friend

At least if you want to keep him as a friend.

6. Online Shopping Late at Night

We’re just assuming that’s why this dude bought this painting.

View Slideshow
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Scott Disick: Partying With "Tramps"! Drunk at Noon!

Scott Disick takes a lot of flak for being unreliable, but we take umbrage with that notion.

Let"s give Scott a little credit where it"s due, shall we?

After all, you can always rely on the Lord to be unreliable, and that"s gotta count for something, right?

If you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians online, you know that there"s usually a lag time of several months between when the events of the family members" lives make tabloid headlines and when those same events are finally depicted on the show.

This might be one of the reasons that the Kardashians are struggling in terms of ratings, but that"s a conversation for another time.

Anyway, it takes a while to transform raw footage into watchable television, which is why we"re just now getting the KUWTK version of Scott Disick and Kim Kardashian"s disastrous trip to Dubai.

Scott was supposed to be on hand to provide Kim with a greater sense of security, as the trip marked the first time she"d traveled internationally since being robbed at gunpoint in Paris.

It"s a mystery why anyone thought Scott was the right man for this job, but not surprisingly Disick went on a bender and disappeared.

Now the incident is finally being featured on the family"s reality show, and it seems like Scott"s behavior was even worse than what was described in the tabloids.

Not only was he hammered, he was busted partying with what Kim describes as a "tramp."

Check out that awkward moment in the preview clip below:

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Kris Jenner: Drunk and Alone on Easter?

When we first learned that Kris Jenner and Corey Gamble have broken up, it didn’t come as much of a shock.

After all, Corey was just Kris’ rebound after her divorce from Caitlyn Jenner.

He’s nearly 30 years her junior and two or three tax brackets beneath her.

The whole thing seemed doomed from the start.

In fact, it seems the only one who’s surprised things didn’t work out between Corey Gamble and Kris Jenner – is Kris Jenner.

According to Radar Online, the breakup started out amicably, but has taken a turn for the bitter in recent days.

Yesterday, the family gathered at Kris’ house to celebrate Easter, and while it was originally planned that Corey would attend the festivities for the sake of Kris’ grandkids, he wound up being a no-show. 

“Corey did not want to be grilled by the family, and wanted no part in Kim’s get together,” a source close to the family tells Radar.

One insider reports that Kris “was chugging wine and champagne yesterday, and the family is really worried about her.”

Of course Kris might’ve been hitting the bottle for any number of reasons.

She’s got a lot on her plate these days, not the least of which is the fact that it’s looking more and more like Keeping Up With the Kardashians might be canceled due to declining ratings.

“They feel that the breakup and bombing KUWTK ratings are going to push her over the edge,” says the source.

Obviously, the Kard clan doesn’t need the money these days, but Kris reportedly still sees the show as the foundation of the family empire, and insiders say she’ll be deeply embarrassed and consider it a personal failure if the series gets axed.

On top of all that, Kris is reportedly struggling to cope with the fallout from the first excerpts of Caitlyn Jenner’s memoir, set to his bookstores next week.

In the book, Caitlyn claims that Kris knew she was trans from the start of their relationship and essentially forced her to spend two decades in the closet.

Kris says it’s all BS, but even if she’s telling the truth, she’ll have a hard time proving it.

Basically, Kris has ample reason to knock a few back these days.

So raise a glass to the OG momager and be grateful that your career wasn’t launched by your daughter’s sex tape.

View Slideshow: Kris Jenner: 11 Times The Kardashian Matriarch Was Fed Up With Her Kids

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Steve Francis Pleads Guilty to Drunk Driving

Ex-NBA superstar Steve Francis pled guilty to 1 count of driving while intoxicated stemming from a crazy Nov. 2016 arrest … but he ain’t going back to the slammer.  Francis appeared in a Houston courtroom Tuesday and pled guilty to the…

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19 Times Facebook Got Hilariously Drunk

Remember that time you got totally drunk and did something very stupid?

No?

Perhaps the following Facebook status updates will jog your memory.

Do any of these hilarious stories sound familiar? If not, then you can rest easy, sit back and laugh at the wasted pain of others…

1. A Fair Deal

This person should consider himself very lucky, really.

2. Drunk You is AWESOME

An awesome douche, we suppose.

3. Turns Out, I Was My Own Secret Santa!

Who knew?!? (Not me.)

4. Did You Check for a Flash in Her Book?

Don’t jump to such a conclusion.

5. Anyone? Anyone?

Must I do EVERYthing myself?!?

6. Wait, We Have a Question:

Who took this photo? And why isn’t he or she holding your hair back?!?

View Slideshow
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Jose Fernandez Was Driving Boat While Drunk & Coked Up ... Officials Say

Investigators have concluded MLB pitcher Jose Fernandez was driving his boat at the time it crashed in Miami … killing everyone onboard … and say he was drunk and high on cocaine at the time.

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NFL"s Aldon Smith Detained By Police ... Drunk Passenger In Cop Car Crash

More trouble for Aldon Smith … who was detained by police in San Francisco around 8 AM Thursday after a car he was riding in smashed into a cop car and the officer says Smith was drunk at the time.  The troubled Oakland Raiders star was NOT…

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Scott Disick: Kourtney Kardashian is a Drunk Too!

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick have never had the healthiest of relationships, a fact evidenced by the many, many times that they’ve broken up and gotten back together.

Scott and Kourtney broke up for the 47,000th time back in December, but this time, there doesn’t seem to be a reconciliation on the horizon.

In fact, insiders say Kourtney is taking steps to ensure that Disicks’s access to the couple’s three children is limited to supervised visits that will be scheduled at her discretion.

Yes, according to Radar Online, Kourtney wants full custody, and she believes Scott’s latest bender has provided her with enough ammunition to prove to a judge that Disick is an unfit father.

An insider tells the site that Disick recently concluded a month-long drinking binge, and rather than attempt to talk him down from the ledge like she usually does, Kourtney let it happen so that she could later throw it in his face in court.

“Kourtney and Scott had it out after she told him she was going after custody, and he told her that there is no way in hell that he would allow that to happen,” says the source.

It seems Scott had an unexpected rebuttal for the argument:

“He told her that she was a drunk too, and the only difference between them is that she hides it well,” the tipster claims.

We certainly didn’t see that one coming.

Sure, Kourtney’s hooked up with Justin Bieber on several occasions, which leads us to believe that she’s frequently under the influence of some sort of mind-altering substance, but we just can’t see her as a big boozer.

For one thing, pretty much every second of Kourt’s life is documented on either social media or reality TV, and if she were really hitting the bottle hard, she’d probably have a hell of a time hiding it.

On top of that, have you seen Kourtney lately?

Having a slamming body as a mother of three who’s approaching 40 and being a hardcore boozehound don’t usually go hand-in-hand.

Regardless, Scott hays he’s got evidence, and he plans to go toe-to-toe against Kourtney:

“Scott will fight Kourtney to the bitter end if he has to, because there is just no way that he will let her do this,” the source explained.

“He doesn’t think the kids are in any danger. He told her she can f–k off.”

View Slideshow: Kourtney Kardashian Gives Us Vacation, Bikini Body Envy in Bahamas

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Baker Mayfield: Drunk Arrest Embarrassed My Family Name ... I"m Sorry

Baker Mayfield says he feels “shame, guilt, and embarrassment” after his drunken arrest in Arkansas this weekend … calling it “the biggest mistake of my life.” As we previously reported, the Oklahoma quarterback — who finished 3rd in the 2016…

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David Cassidy Appears Drunk In Concert ... Slurs, Falls, Forgets (VIDEO)

David Cassidy seems to have fallen off the wagon — and almost off the stage — in what appears to be a drunken performance this weekend. The former teen idol was playing a gig in Agoura (near L.A.) Saturday night, where he looked incredibly…

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Darrelle Revis Claims Drunk Guy Picked Fight ... "Beer Muscles Were Talking" (Video)

Darrelle Revis’ attorney is spelling out the NFL star’s side of the violent incident in Pittsburgh — claiming he was attacked by a drunk guy who was flexing his “beer muscles.” TMZ Sports spoke with Blaine Jones who says Revis did everything in…

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Lauryn Hill Keeps the Show Flowing While Drunk Fan Gets Booted (VIDEO)

Lauryn Hill didn’t skip a beat as she was closing out her Nashville show … even though a dude was getting booted right in front of the stage. Hill was mid-song at Ryman Auditorium Thursday when a disturbance went down in the crowd. It’s hard to…

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Drunk Girl Drops It Like It"s Hot, Immediately Regrets Doing So

We"ve all been there, right?

We"ve all been decked out in a revealing outfit, pregaming with some friends, listening to some tunes and unable to control ourselves.

We simply need to dance. We simply need to feel the beat, to get into the mood and prepare for what promises to be an epic night out.

That"s what a woman named Bonnie Lee Brown is doing in the following photo. Look at her go!

The problem, however, is that Brown soon decides to drop her booty down to the ground; in practice, we assume, for drawing the attention of all the guys at the club to which she"s headed.

But Brown would never make it to the club on this night.

Nope. 

As a result of this poorly-timed dance move, Brown ended up sitting directly down on the sharp, pointy end of her shoe rack.

She had to go to a hospital and get three stitches in her tush, along with a tetanus shot to prevent any infections from the metal pole.

"so I ended up with a pole up my bum Saturday night and had to have 3 stitches on my arse cheek and a tetnus jab, how was your weekend?" wrote the poor non-club-goer as a caption to the following video on Twitter.

CHECK IT OUT NOW:

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Johnny Manziel: I Was a Drunk Douche, But I"m Better Now!

Oh, Johnny Football.

Today we saw the 45th President of the United States get sworn in and immediately start talking about carnage and tombstones, yet, you, Mr. Manziel, may have blessed us with even more bizarre quotables.

That’s talent!

If you’re a football fan, then you’re probably aware that after showing tremendous promise in college, Johnny Manziel’s NFL career flamed out in epic fashion and the Heisman Trophy winner was eventually drummed out of the league as a result of his substance abuse and legal scrapes.

(The fact that he was playing football very, very poorly didn’t help either.)

Like Ryan Leaf before him, it wasn’t long after Manziel was drafted that he proved his real talent wasn’t football – it was f–king up.

Whether he was getting spotted using cocaine in Vegas or getting involved in a massive brawl with fans, Manziel quickly the embodiment of the universe’s hatred for Cleveland Browns fans.

Manziel’s nadir came when he a former girlfriend claimed that he assaulted her and threatened to commit suicide during a nightmarish drinking binge.

Shortly thereafter, Manziel was cut by the Browns.

In June of last year, despite not even being signed to a team, Manziel was suspended by the NFL for violating the league’s substance abuse policy.

That move was essentially the nail in the coffin of the 24-year-old’s brief career, and it seems like these days, just about everyone has given up on Johnny Manziel.

Except, of course, for Johnny Manziel.

Yesterday, the troubled QB launched a comeback your that began with a simple (and frankly, hilarious) tweet:

“No lie.. I was a douche in 2016 I’m just trying to be a good PERSON again#LostInTheSauce,” Manziel wrote.

He followed that up with an email interview with ESPN, in which he made it very clear that he’s serious about returning to football:

“I refuse to let my entire life of sports from the age of 4 be squandered by partying. I just got sick of it. One day I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror and realized I could really help people in the position I’m in,” Manziel wrote.

“I love sports, I love football and when you take something away from yourself you realize it the hard way.”

He added:

“The happiness from doing it sober has been ASTRONOMICAL. Beyond my wildest imagination and once that continued other good things started happening in my life and it just clicked.”

View Slideshow: 20 Scandalous Sports Stories

Asked about his plans for the future, Manziel stated that he only has one goal in mind:

“PLAY FOOTBALL. A pre season game, anything I don’t care what it is. Only need one team to believe in me and I’ll do anything to make that a possibility.”

Unfortunately, NFL analysts remain skeptical as Manziel has refused to seek any professional help for his apparent addictions.

We wish him the best, but unless he’s ready to give his potential coaches what they’re looking for, we’re afraid Johnny Football will continue to be a man who fails to live up to his memorable nickname.

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Scottish Soccer Players Raped Drunk Woman ... Judge Rules

Two Scottish soccer stars — including a former member of the Scotland national team — have been branded rapists by a Scottish judge after the victim sued their asses in civil court.  The players – David Robertson and David Goodwillie –…

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Vince Young Punished In Drunk Driving Case

Vince Young will NOT do any jail time for his 2016 DWI arrest … but he will be on probation for the next year and a half. The ex-NFL star was finally sentenced for his Jan. 24 arrest in Austin — when cops say he was drifting across traffic with a…

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Brandi Glanville: Drunk on the Red Carpet, Taking Shots at LeAnn Rimes?

Brandi Glanville has a new reality show starting tonight, and the early buzz isn’t exactly breaking the Internet, which means the thirst for last-minute free publicity is very, very real.

You may have seen the promos:

Brandi and Leann Rimes’ ex-husband, Dean Sheremet, compete in a cooking competition with Ray J and Andre Dice Clay, apparently for no other reason than that 2016 wants to prove right out of the gate that it’s capable of being just as awful as its predecessor.

We first heard about My Kitchen Rules (Yes, that apparently that struck someone as a gangbusters title.) way back in May, when rumors that Brandi and Dean were dating began to circulate online.

Turns out, they were just filming this show together.

Obviously, the revenge boning story made for a far more interesting narrative, which is probably why it went un-challenged for so long.

Sadly, the reality of the situation is that Brandi and Dean won’t be doing any boning unless they decide to serve trout.

But that doesn’t mean Brandi won’t be using her status as a tabloid staple to promote this act of midseason desperation by the Fox network.

There’s already been talk of Brandi drunk on the red carpet at a premiere event, because getting drunk in public is on the short list of things that still make her mildly interesting.

The only other item on that list is her feud with LeAnn Rimes, and it seems she intends to milk that for everything it’s worth, as well.

Those who have seen the show say Brandi and Dean start taking jabs at their exes right out of the gate.

“Her ex-husband had sex with my ex-wife,” Dean reportedly tells the camera by way of introduction.

“And then we went through the divorce part of it very publicly together,” Glanville adds, for the sake of those who are still confused about why the hell these two are on a team together.

“Everyone assumes that we’re hooking up,” Sheremet says at one point, clarifying:

“We’re really good friends.”

Apparently, co-star Naomi Judd even gets in on the awkwardness, joking about LeAnn:

“Not very good taste in men, but she has a beautiful voice.”

So yeah, that’s the kind of scripted “humor” you can expect on My Kitchen Rules.

We doubt that LeAnn and Eddie Cibrian will be watching – or anyone else, for that matter.

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