Showing posts with label Douche. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Douche. Show all posts

Friday, May 11, 2018

Jennifer Garner & Lindsay Shookus to Ben Affleck: Stop Being a Douche!

It’s been almost a year since the world first learned that Ben Affleck is dating Lindsay Shookus, and though the couple has kept their relationship as low-key as possible, in that time, fans and the press have jumped to the same conclusion about the couple’s dynamic.


Whether it’s fair or not, the picture that’s emerged is one of a self-indulgent manchild meeting his ideal enabler.



This might have something to do with the fact that Ben and Lindsay were spotted drinking together in her hometown shortly after they started dating.


Normally, that wouldn’t be a big deal, but Affleck has been in and out of rehab several times in the past few years, and his friends and family were understandably concerned that he seemed to be throwing caution to the wind.


As for Garner, she’s said to be unconcerned about the relationship and has reportedly informed Shookus that Ben’s drinking is her problem now.


So Lindsay and Jen obviously don’t quite get along, but it seems they’re willing to join forces when the stakes are high enough.


Such as when Ben’s notorious temper threatens to have a negative impact on the lives of his three young children.



Recently, Ben and his kids were hounded by some paparazzi during their weekly visit to their local church.


Ben was less than pleased, and he made his feelings know with an irate tweet:


“Still not sure what is urgently newsworthy about a middle-aged man taking his kids to church,” Affleck wrote.


According to Radar Online, both Jen and Lindsay agreed that his response would only serve to make the situation worse.


And apparently, they joined forces to make Ben see their error of his ways.



After reportedly consulting with Jen, Lindsay addressed the issue with Ben:


“Lindsay told him he doesn’t want to come off negatively like other celebrities when they spout off on their social media,” a source tells Radar.


“It doesn’t make him look good. They argued about it.”


Eventually, Ben came around to Jen and Lindsay’s way of thinking.


“He’s super remorseful and wants to make it right,” says the insider.


So there you have it.


All Ben needs to do to live a drama-free life is to consult with both his girlfriend and his ex before he makes any type of decision.



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Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Body-Shaming Douche Canoe Gets Dumped by GF, Twitter Applauds


It"s time to meet Shelby Johnson… and her total loser of an ex-boyfriend.


Shelby recently took to social media in order to seek advice about the guy she was dating, a partner who she does not name but whose messages she does reveal to the public.


And these messages are simply straight-up cruel.


They attempt to shame Shelby over her body, prompting her to ask followers what she ought to do about him.


Thankfully, these followers give Shelby the perfect advice, which she eventually takes triumphantly.


Scroll down to familiarize yourself with her story — and to hate on this anonymous loser of a man.




1. This is Shelby


Shelby

And this is Shelby’s body. We have nothing negative to say about it, certainly. Who would?!?



2. This is What Shelby Asked Her Friends About


This is what shelby asked her friends about

Shelby gave her weight and asked for assistance on what to do about a boyfriend who would dare insult her figure.



3. WTH, Dude?!?


Meanbf

Yes, this loser actually told his girlfriend that she should do something about her “gut.”



4. You Have a Beer Gut, Babe


Poorshelby

For the double standard record, can you imagine if a woman said this to a man? He’d probably laugh with pride and crack open a cold one.



5. It Doesn’t Matter, Shelby


120lb

Don’t let him get into your head like this. It doesn’t matter what you weighed.



6. I Worked Hard for This!


Puregrowth

Shelby shared a brief history of her body and weight struggles, making us sympathize with her even more.


View Slideshow
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Friday, February 16, 2018

Stassi Schroeder Introduces New Boyfriend Beau Clark: He"s Not a Douche!

If you’ve been watching the current season of Vanderpump Rules, you know that former SUR girl and reigning controversy queen Stassi Schroeder is having a tough go of it.


Granted, many of Stassi’s problems are self-created, but it’s still jarring to see the former queen bee take such a tumble from the top of the social ladder.



The past two weeks have been particularly rough for Stassi due to allegations of racism from Ariana Madix and some bizarre photos that refuse to go away.


(Pro tip: Even if dressing in “Nazi chic” is your idea of a good gag, maybe don’t post the pics on social media.)


Like we said, she’s not exactly on top this season, and her situation is made worse by the fact that she’s dating a total douche.


In real life, Patrick Meagher dumped Stassi on what would have been their fourth anniversary (like we said, douche), but when Vanderpump Season 6 was filmed, they were very much still dating. 


Which means we’ve been subjected to levels of mansplaining and cliched bumper sticker-slogan philosophy to make Joel Osteen blush.



(Side note: Between Stassi dating Patrick and Scheana dating Robert Valletta, is it just us, or do these women really go in for some cheesy Danny Tanner types.)


“I am in a relationship right now,” Stassi confirmed to Andy Cohen on Monday.


Now, we know who Stassi is dating, and it seems that after a dating past that includes Patrick and the likes of Jax Taylor, it seems Stassi has broken the cycle with a non-douche.


“It is very new, but they are exclusive,” an insider revealed to E! News.


“Stassi is happy that she didn’t have to use a dating app and met him organically through her best friends.”



The source adds:


“Beau is very social and likable within his friend group, and that’s why Katie [Maloney] and Kristen [Doute] thought he would be a good match for her.”


Is seems Beau possesses the two most important traits for any human being – a sense of humor and a love of dogs:


“Stassi thinks he’s hilarious, and they both share similar humor,” the insider continued.


“They have been spending a lot of time together, and he stays at her apartment often. They both bond over their obsession with their dogs. Beau has slowly been introduced to the Vanderpump circle and there have been no issues yet.”


Stassi was reluctant to speak about Beau when speaking to Cohen, but she did have some kind parting words for Meagher:



“He’s a wonderful person and whoever he finds is a really lucky woman,” she said.


“He’s just not right for me. Once you try twice, like give it two really good shots, you’re not supposed to be together.”


Is it possible that the cast of VPR is … growing up?!


Someone get this girl 14 Pump-tinis, STAT!


We need some bad decisions, and we need ‘em now!


Watch Vanderpump Rules online can make her way back to the op of the social totem pole.



ReadMore…

Friday, August 11, 2017

Jennifer Lawrence Is Bad For America, Claims Breitbart Douche

For decades, the September issue of Vogue has been a full-blown event in the fashion world, and being chosen as its cover model is regarded as one of the industry’s highest honors.


Jennifer Lawrence was granted that honor several times over this week, when the magazine debuted four covers for September issue covers, each featuring a different photo of the 26-year-old Oscar winner.



Hilariously, a finance and economics editor at Breitbart – the preferred media outlet for those who read the news through the eyeholes in their hoods – believes J-Law and Vogue have teamed up 


“We’re going to have to create a full #MAGA shadow cultural industry because the Opposition Media can’t even do fashion without attacking us,” John Carney tweeted in response to the image of Lawrence in front of the Statue of Liberty.


In a since deleted follow-up tweet, Carney argued that the photo is “clearly an allusion to our current immigration debate, taking the #poemlaw side.”


Yes, John Carney, the most precious of all snowflakes, is thoroughly triggered by the mere sight of the Statue of Liberty.


Carney’s hashtag refers to a recent statement made by Trump surrogate and Guy With Voldemort Living In His Head From the First Harry Potter, Stephen Miller.



Confronted with the fact that the poem inscribed on the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty heralds America as a refuge for immigrants, Miller argued that the poem should be dismissed as it “was added later.”


Carney’s conniption over an actress standing in front of one of this nation’s most famous monuments is hilarious for a number of reasons.


For one, like Jennifer Lawrence’s hatred of Donald Trump is no secret.


If she wants to express her distaste for the president, she doesn’t have to resort to subtle visual cues on the cover of the fashion industry’s favorite periodical.


That would be the height of preaching to the choir.


On top of all that, Carney was thoroughly corn-cobbed by the revelation that the photo was shot weeks before Miller said his dumb thing:




John Carney Tweet


Yes, that’s Vogue‘s director of communications, Zara Rahim, tearing down Carney’s argument with six words.


The condescending “buddy” at the end is quite cherry on top.


So Carney doesn’t have a leg to stand on here, but a Breitbart editor arguing against media duplicity was never not hilarious.


John, you’re from the outlet that gave the world President Bannon.


Maybe don’t be so harsh to accuse others of spreading propaganda … buddy.



ReadMore…

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

T.J. Miller Comes Across as Massive Douche in Bizarre Interview

T.J. Miller is one of the stars of the upcoming Emoji Movie, and he’s got some thoughts to share the on effect of artists on the prevailing zeitgeist in Western capitalist societies.


Okay, Miller is also a standup who’s probably best known for his roles in Silicon Valley and Deadpool, but we couldn’t resist that opening sentence.


Miller recently quit Silicon Valley and made a point of igniting the Bridge to Relevance behind him, both insulting the intelligence of the show’s writers and expressing his disgust at his co-stars for not doing enough to prevent the election of Donald Trump.



Because, ya know, Thomas Middleditch, Kumail Nanjiani, and Martin Starr all weild a tremendous amount of political clout.


We guess it’s not surprising behavior coming from a guy who thinks the answer to the political strife in this country is to physically attack people who disagree with him.


Miller continued his amusingly un-self-aware career suicide this week with a thoroughly bonkers and unintentionally amusing interview with Vulture.


The only way to really do justice to Miller’s interview is to present his comments unedited, followed by our reactions, all of which will start with the word “dude,” because, seriously … dude:


On Women Not Being Funny: “They’re taught to suppress their sense of humor during their formative years,” Miller told Vulture. “Women want to be treated as equals, and we want feminism to be a thing, but it’s really difficult when every woman makes the same point about her vagina, over and over.


“I think shock value works well for women, but beyond that, there’s no substance. I want to see what else there is with such complex, smart creatures.”



Dude, it’s not the entire gender’s fault that the only female comic you’ve ever seen is Amy Schumer.


On Wanting to Be Lindsay Lohan: “After the election, I realized that there was a gap. Nobody right now is publicly the Lindsay Lohan–train wreck–but–not–quite person. If I’d just said it was an honor to work on ‘Silicon Valley’ and was thankful to Alec Berg, I would have disappeared. Instead, by being just a little authentic, I infected the news cycle. 


Dude, if Lindsay Lohan is your PR idol, then you need to take several steps back and re-evaluate WTF it is that you’re trying to accomplish.


Offerring a Hilariously High-Minded Justification For Selling Out: “My goal is to distract people from the tragedy of the impermanence of everyday life. And I can do that best by oversaturating the market … In the American Zeitgeist, you have to recognize that there is no Zeitgeist.”


Dude, stop throwing around words like “zeitgeist” so damn much. You’re promoting The Emoji Movie.



On … We Don’t Even Know: “There’s no point in moderation. Every American’s job in this capitalist society is to consume content. If nothing means anything, then anything can mean everything.”


Dude, just … what?


The whole thing is worth a read.


At one point, Miller informs the interviewer that he “tricked” him into answering nicer questions, like he’s some steampunk goggle-wearing pick-up artist enveloped in a cloud of vape smoke.


Be sure to enjoy every unhinged word, because we get the feeling T.J. Miller interviews won’t be a thing for much longer.


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Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Feuding Bachelorette Stars Get Cut, Almost Fight in Epic Douche Moment

In addition to The Bachelorette spoilers game-changer that took the Internet by storm, there was also an episode of the show last night.


Two really awesome contestants on The Bachelorette got the axe on Monday, and proceeded to have a toddler-like meltdown on camera.


It was … quite something to behold.



For two consecutive weeks, those who watch The Bachelorette online have suffered through Lucas and Blake"s alarmingly boring beef.


Lucas, of course, has been riding his catchphrase “Whaboom!” like a honeymooning Joy-Anna Duggar on Austin Forsyth these days.


Blake E., not to be outdone in the d-bag department, opted to woo Rachel Lindsay with aspirations of drumming and boasts of sexual prowess.


Couple of winners, in other words.


Incredibly, this feud dates back to BEFORE the show, when both tools competed on a reality show titled Ex-Isle … because obviously.


Moreover, because you can"t make that hilariousness or this next part up, Blake was roommates with Lucas’ ex-girlfriend at one point.


With that backdrop, on last night"s episode, the feud reached the next level as Whaboom told Rachel that Blake was slandering him.



He did this, he claimed, because he “has a crush” on him. Yes, this quote happened … and Rachel obviously had to get Blake"s take.


To his credit, he didn"t totally freak out … yet. And more significantly, to Rachel"s credit, both were eliminated during the rose ceremony.


Thus came the first time in BACHELOR HISTORY (copyright Chris Harrison) that two feuding suitors left together and … feuded some more.


We are talking about a possible Douche Hall of Fame inductee moment … maybe not unanimous or first ballot, but it"ll get in one day. 


With Blake actually walking over during Lucas" exit interview taping to salute him with an expletive-laden parting shot, how can it not?!


And then things got even worse!


Accusing Lucas of dragging him and torpedoing any chances he had with Rachel, Blake proclaimed, “I’m going home. You win, Lucas.”  


Not just yet, though.



“It’s not about winning,” Lucas replied to that would-be mic drop. “It’s about the world, brother. And you have no idea what the world needs.”


LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.


Blake"s response to that high-horse zinger? A possibly even more ridiculous quote: “You’re the ‘whaboom’ clown. I’m the nice gentleman.”


From there, Lucas told Blake to “go back to his protein shakes,” and Blake taunted told Lucas to “Get back to your garbage, clown life."


“My clown life?” Lucas incredulously said. “I’m a clown? Because I can be funny?! You don’t even know what funny looks like!"


“Funny is not ‘whaboom,’” Blake responded. “’Whaboom’ is like, wocka wocka, pie in the face, wocka, wocka, honk, honk, fart joke.”


As Blake mockingly mimed Lucas every time he tried to respond, things reached first-grade levels as this segment mercifully concluded.


Watch a clip of it below.


The bachelorette contestants get the axe freak the f k out
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Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Amber Portwood: It"s MTV"s Fault Matt Baier Looks Like a Douche!

If you watch Teen Mom online, you’re probably aware that Amber Portwood and Matt Baier are going through a bit of a rough patch.


And by “rough patch,” we mean if Amber’s got any sense, Matt’s currently packing up his Tom Brady jerseys and Spinal Tap collectibles in order to haul his sorry deadbeat ass back to Boston.


Portwood and Baier have called off their wedding, but it’s unclear if they’re still together as a couple.



Matt’s given Amber plenty of reasons to kick him to the curb, but lately, he seems to be making a real case for himself as the worst boyfriend in the history of the Teen Mom franchise.


(And as fans know, that’s no easy feat.)


In addition to the fact that we now have real reason to believe that Matt cheated on Amber, he’s now pressuring her to get married ASAP, a move that smacks of the most shameless kind of golddigging.


Fans were stunned when Matt swore he would “never” marry Amber if she didn’t agree to a quickie wedding in Vegas.


After that exchange, fans assumed there was no way Amber could continue to overlook Matt’s many glaring flaws.



But denial is a powerful thing, and it seems it’s also Amber’s drug of choice these days.


Baier and Portwood appeared on the Teen Mom: OG after-show this week, and a fan in the audience tells The Ashley’s Reality Roundup that Amber went on a wild rant that never made it to air:


“Amber totally called out MTV and went off on a total rant for like 10 minutes,” the audience member tells The Ashley.


“It came right after the part where she says that no one can make her do or say anything for the cameras, but they cut out what she said next.”


According to the anonymous onlooker, the bulk of Amber’s rage was directed not at Matt, but at MTV:



“She was more mad at them for trying to start something with her brother,” the audience member says.


“That really pissed her off and she said that they keep trying to ‘f**k with her and her family.’”


And like every Teen Mom star, Amber is convinced that MTV needs her more than she needs MTV:


“She even said, ‘They’re going to edit all this out but f**k MTV! She kept saying she has other deals in the works, and other people want her, and that MTV should just fire her but they won’t because they need her.”


Matt, of course, was quick to jump right on the “poin the finger at MTV” bandwagon:



“Matt basically blamed MTV for why he got mad in the clip,” the audience member said.


“He said he knew they’d take their great trip and just use that one part where she doesn’t want to marry him and make it look like she didn’t want to be with him. They both said that MTV was trying to screw them over.”


Sigh. Someday reality stars will understand that no one wants to see the “fun,” uneventful parts of their trip.


Showing a very different side on social media, Amber insisted that if she had heard Matt saying he’d lost interest in marrying her, she would have reacted quite differently:


“Yeah wish he would have said that to me!! Lol good thing he whispered it to her because I don’t mess around with comments like that!!”


Sure you don’t, Amber. Sure you don’t.



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Monday, March 13, 2017

Dude Humps "Fearless Girl" Statue, is Biggest Douche Alive

A photo of a man pretending to hump the new “Fearless Girl” statue on Wall Street is going viral because he"s just that big of a douche.


Architectural designer Alexis Kaloyanides snapped the pic on March 9, the day after International Women’s Day, and posted it to Facebook.


“Almost as if out of central casting," she described it.



"Some Wall Street finance broseph appeared and started humping the statue while his gross date rape-y friends laughed and cheered him on."


"He pretended to have sex with the image of a little girl."


"Douchebags like this are why we need feminism.”


Two days earlier, the bronze statue of a young girl meant to signify the power of women in leadership roles was installed in Manhattan.


Right in front of the famous Wall Street bull, she became an instant inspiration … that this loser rubbed up against in a sexual manner.


Kaloyanides, 34, was out with co-workers when they decided to stop by the statue Thursday night to see the feminist effigy in person.


"It was a beautiful night… there were about 15 or 20 people there," Kaloyanides said, describing the scene that would soon turn sour.


"We started talking about the statue, a little girl about 5 or 6 years old proudly posed with the statue for a picture, it was just a nice moment."


"These three young men came along."



"At first they were hanging off the bull… and then one guy rushed up and started grinding against the statue of the girl, being lewd and totally inappropriate."


The stunt understandably shocked the crowd, which immediately started yelling at the unidentified man, who laughed as he left with friends.


“He was gone within 20 seconds, but it just ruined the mood of the scene,” Kaloyanides went on, calling the display "utterly revolting." 


“[People were] talking about empowering children and women and then to have this 20-something showing his entitlement, defiling the statute…"


Kaloyanides got a photo, though, and posted it to social media, a decision she defends because some believe this is a laughing matter.


By spreading the photo, she ensures it won"t be.


"This is just further perpetuating a mentality of ‘boys will be boys,’ and that ‘it’s okay, it’s a joke, just brush it off,’” she said of her decision.


“This young man likely has a mother, a sister perhaps, a girlfriend, a wife, who knows? I’m getting tired of making excuses and laughing it off."


"I for one am not gonna laugh it off anymore."



“This man did something in public."


"He wanted to get a reaction, and he’s getting it now, good or bad,” she said. “And it’s not like it’s just a bunch of angry women."


"Decent men are outraged.”


The statue was installed Tuesday by State Street Global Advisers in an effort to push companies to add more women to their boards.


The financial manager, the world"s third largest, said it would vote against boards of companies that failed to take these very steps.


On the day the statue was erected, State Street planned to send letters asking 3,500 companies to act, which Kaloyanides respects:


"Companies with gender mixed leadership do financially better. It’s not just for appearances. This sculpture is a symbol of females in business."


“When girls are young and coming up, hopefully, as it was in my case, parents tell them ‘you can be anything you want,” she continued.


Later in life, she laments, reality hits and you"re "handed an entirely different set of experiences and suddenly we discount ourselves."


"Women in positions of power, they don’t want to be seen as being a b–tches. There’s a contradiction, boys are leaders and girls are bossy."


"This symbolizes a young girl untainted by the realities of the world. It’s still possible," she adds, bringing it back to her infamous photo:


"I have to believe that this [the photo and subsequent reaction] is just sort of a catalyst to get people to continue to say it’s not okay to act this way."


Dude humps fearless girl statue is biggest douche alive
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Friday, January 20, 2017

Johnny Manziel: I Was a Drunk Douche, But I"m Better Now!

Oh, Johnny Football.


Today we saw the 45th President of the United States get sworn in and immediately start talking about carnage and tombstones, yet, you, Mr. Manziel, may have blessed us with even more bizarre quotables.


That’s talent!


If you’re a football fan, then you’re probably aware that after showing tremendous promise in college, Johnny Manziel’s NFL career flamed out in epic fashion and the Heisman Trophy winner was eventually drummed out of the league as a result of his substance abuse and legal scrapes.






(The fact that he was playing football very, very poorly didn’t help either.)


Like Ryan Leaf before him, it wasn’t long after Manziel was drafted that he proved his real talent wasn’t football – it was f–king up.


Whether he was getting spotted using cocaine in Vegas or getting involved in a massive brawl with fans, Manziel quickly the embodiment of the universe’s hatred for Cleveland Browns fans.


Manziel’s nadir came when he a former girlfriend claimed that he assaulted her and threatened to commit suicide during a nightmarish drinking binge.


Shortly thereafter, Manziel was cut by the Browns.



In June of last year, despite not even being signed to a team, Manziel was suspended by the NFL for violating the league’s substance abuse policy.


That move was essentially the nail in the coffin of the 24-year-old’s brief career, and it seems like these days, just about everyone has given up on Johnny Manziel.


Except, of course, for Johnny Manziel.


Yesterday, the troubled QB launched a comeback your that began with a simple (and frankly, hilarious) tweet:


“No lie.. I was a douche in 2016 I’m just trying to be a good PERSON again#LostInTheSauce,” Manziel wrote.



He followed that up with an email interview with ESPN, in which he made it very clear that he’s serious about returning to football:


“I refuse to let my entire life of sports from the age of 4 be squandered by partying. I just got sick of it. One day I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror and realized I could really help people in the position I’m in,” Manziel wrote.


“I love sports, I love football and when you take something away from yourself you realize it the hard way.”


He added:


“The happiness from doing it sober has been ASTRONOMICAL. Beyond my wildest imagination and once that continued other good things started happening in my life and it just clicked.”



Asked about his plans for the future, Manziel stated that he only has one goal in mind:


“PLAY FOOTBALL. A pre season game, anything I don’t care what it is. Only need one team to believe in me and I’ll do anything to make that a possibility.”


Unfortunately, NFL analysts remain skeptical as Manziel has refused to seek any professional help for his apparent addictions.


We wish him the best, but unless he’s ready to give his potential coaches what they’re looking for, we’re afraid Johnny Football will continue to be a man who fails to live up to his memorable nickname.


ReadMore…

Johnny Manziel: Here"s My Plan to NOT Be a Douche in 2017 (VIDEO)

When it comes to NOT being a douche in 2017 … Johnny Manziel tells TMZ Sports he can’t just talk the talk, he has to walk the walk.  The ex-NFL player was leaving Catch in West Hollywood Thursday night — once again appearing sober — and…


ReadMore…

Johnny Manziel: Here"s My Plan to NOT Be a Douche in 2017 (VIDEO)

When it comes to NOT being a douche in 2017 … Johnny Manziel tells TMZ Sports he can’t just talk the talk, he has to walk the walk.  The ex-NFL player was leaving Catch in West Hollywood Thursday night — once again appearing sober — and…


ReadMore…

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Stasia Huber on Adam Lind: So Brave! Totally Not a Douche!

As we reported last month, Adam Lind and Stasia Huber are engaged.



Like the people in Stasia’s life, we hoped it was a sick joke at first, but sadly, that’s not the case.


The Lind-Huber engagement has been confirmed, and astonishingly, Stasia seems to be excited about it.


We’re assuming that she doesn’t have cable or Internet, and is thus unable to watch Teen Mom 2 online.


Not only has Stasia taken to social media to sing Adam’s praises, she’s also become the latest to claim that the only reason he comes off as a the Douche God to Rule Them All on TV is because the MTV’s editors are totes jerks, you guys.


Here, in its entirety, is the love letter that Stasia posted on Adam’s Instagram page earlier this week:


It takes a lot of courage and sacrifices a lot of pride to admit your faults. It takes a lot of time and work to better yourself to make up for past mistakes.


“When I first looked at the man I plan on calling my husband, I didn’t see a man who struggled or hurt, I saw a father of two beautiful girls he just wants to be with and a good friend who would give you the shirt off his back even if it was the last thing he had.


“It took time for me to notice through subtleties what went on under the surface, what he tried to cover up and hide from everyone else.


“It’s hard to explain the things that have happened to him that no one deserves vs the things he’s done wrong in his life.


“To have your life manipulated and broadcasted nationally in a negative light no matter what you do takes a toll on anyone. It even affects those who care about him.


“The fact that I get to wake up to him and see him smile another day is a blessing in itself. We aren’t here to act like our lives are perfect.


“No one has a perfect life and those who try to act like they do aren’t fooling anyone but themselves. Besides how boring that would be, I’d take the passion any day. We’ve had our really good days.


“Done things for each other we’ve never done for anyone else.”


Uh … “we’ve had our really good days” sounds like something someone would say in marriage counseling, but we suppose Stasia sounds mostly optimistic about her relationship.


Maybe there’s some truth to those rumors that Adam and Stasia are already married, after all.


Friday, July 22, 2016

Adam Lind: Randy Houska is a Douche Canoe (and Trolling Me on Instagram)!

Teen Mom 2 renegade and South Dakota derelict Adam Lind is mad as hell after an Instagram hater page posted his address online.


You won’t believe who he believes is behind this, either …



Amid rumors of Lind getting fired from Teen Mom 2 over repeated behavior problems comes yet another unflattering, scandalous report.


The father of two wants fans to report the anti-Adam Lind page that repeatedly posts negative comments (and information) about him.


Not only that, he believes Chelsea Houska’s father and his most ardent critic, Dr. Randy Houska, is the man responsible for the page.


Adam ranted on Facebook after his address was posted:


“So there is this page on IG dedicated to f–king hating me and tearing me apart …. And I’m pretty g0d damn certain who it would be.”


“I got it narrowed down to a few ppl … Any who …”


“These mother f–kers went sooooo far out of there way to find a police log of when a cop was called to my house for noise complaint.”


“Sooo now every hating person who follows that page knows my exact g0d damn address…. Awesome just awesome!”



Asked by a fan why he cares, his fiance, Stasia Huber, jumped in, saying it’s as simple as this: “Paislee, Aubree… safety.”


Adam added, equally incredulous: “Whyyyy do I care?!”


“I have children who live with me on the weekend?!


“And now my address is known world wide … Got some crazy f**k that might come here and try something or burn my god damn house down.”


“Let the vandalism begin…. … Got rid of that stupid big ass truck cuz I was sick of paying for new tires …. This is great just greatttttt.”


Stasia Huber added: “Police are on their way, lawyers are being contacted, and instagram will be contacted via police and Lawyers.”


“Child endangerment, harassment, knowingly enforcing possible harm,” she continued, “plenty of things especially when children are involved.”


Adam recoiled at the stated idea that the page in question posted his address out of concern for Aubree, his daughter with Chelsea Houska.


He then let it be known that her dad is behind all this.


So he says: “I still have a strong feeling is Randy.”



“Chelseas dad … He’s always been a big fan of mine…takes so much time out of his busy day to update his own twitter and what not to talk about me.”


Fans who watch Teen Mom 2 online know that Randy called Adam out after this summer’s reunion show, and about 100 times before that.


Would he really use Instagram to provoke Lind, though?!


When an Adam Lind fan (which apparently do exist) commented that Randy Houska is a “douche canoe,” Adam seconded that notion:


“Yes he is.”


Okay then.


“Shits that posted on that page literally leads right to him Rita Chelsea or Cole … They r the only ones with info I’ve seen posted on there.”


Randy and Chelsea have yet to respond to this tirade.


For what it’s worth, the Instagram page that posted Adam Lind’s address is currently suspended after being reported numerous times.


Adam Lind: Randy Houska is a Douche Canoe (and Trolling Me on Instagram)!

Teen Mom 2 renegade and South Dakota derelict Adam Lind is mad as hell after an Instagram hater page posted his address online.


You won’t believe who he believes is behind this, either …



Amid rumors of Lind getting fired from Teen Mom 2 over repeated behavior problems comes yet another unflattering, scandalous report.


The father of two wants fans to report the anti-Adam Lind page that repeatedly posts negative comments (and information) about him.


Not only that, he believes Chelsea Houska’s father and his most ardent critic, Dr. Randy Houska, is the man responsible for the page.


Adam ranted on Facebook after his address was posted:


“So there is this page on IG dedicated to f–king hating me and tearing me apart …. And I’m pretty g0d damn certain who it would be.”


“I got it narrowed down to a few ppl … Any who …”


“These mother f–kers went sooooo far out of there way to find a police log of when a cop was called to my house for noise complaint.”


“Sooo now every hating person who follows that page knows my exact g0d damn address…. Awesome just awesome!”



Asked by a fan why he cares, his fiance, Stasia Huber, jumped in, saying it’s as simple as this: “Paislee, Aubree… safety.”


Adam added, equally incredulous: “Whyyyy do I care?!”


“I have children who live with me on the weekend?!


“And now my address is known world wide … Got some crazy f**k that might come here and try something or burn my god damn house down.”


“Let the vandalism begin…. … Got rid of that stupid big ass truck cuz I was sick of paying for new tires …. This is great just greatttttt.”


Stasia Huber added: “Police are on their way, lawyers are being contacted, and instagram will be contacted via police and Lawyers.”


“Child endangerment, harassment, knowingly enforcing possible harm,” she continued, “plenty of things especially when children are involved.”


Adam recoiled at the stated idea that the page in question posted his address out of concern for Aubree, his daughter with Chelsea Houska.


He then let it be known that her dad is behind all this.


So he says: “I still have a strong feeling is Randy.”



“Chelseas dad … He’s always been a big fan of mine…takes so much time out of his busy day to update his own twitter and what not to talk about me.”


Fans who watch Teen Mom 2 online know that Randy called Adam out after this summer’s reunion show, and about 100 times before that.


Would he really use Instagram to provoke Lind, though?!


When an Adam Lind fan (which apparently do exist) commented that Randy Houska is a “douche canoe,” Adam seconded that notion:


“Yes he is.”


Okay then.


“Shits that posted on that page literally leads right to him Rita Chelsea or Cole … They r the only ones with info I’ve seen posted on there.”


Randy and Chelsea have yet to respond to this tirade.


For what it’s worth, the Instagram page that posted Adam Lind’s address is currently suspended after being reported numerous times.


Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Virgin Australia to Kanye West: Eat a D---, You Douche

The greatest thing ever happened on Twitter.  



After Pitchfork gave Kanye West’s new album a 9 out of 10, the hot mess refused to accept it, and thus tweeted to the music review site that The Life of Pablo is a “30 out of 10.”


Someone got ahold of Virgin Australia’s account and tweeted to West, “EAD, you douche.”




Virgin Australia tells Kanye West to Eat A D--K



The tweet didn’t stay up for more than a minute, before the airline took it down, according to Page Six.


Fortunately for us, someone was able to get a screen grab.


“A recent tweet on our account was not published by a Virgin Australia employee and we are investigating the matter,” the airline tweeted to its 210,000 followers.


Given West’s recent behavior, fans loved what they saw:


– “Dear @VirginAustralia DWAIWAMM (Don’t worry about it we all make mistakes) Please don’t fire your social media person.”


– “HIRE WHOEVER DID IT. This isn’t a bad thing, it needs to be congratulated


– “Oh babe don’t apologise, we loved the sass, and Kanye deserves it.


– “That person should become an employee after that. With a big signing bonus.


– “I’m now going to only fly Virgin purely based on your ‘EOD’ tweet. “


– “that’s a shame.   We were all thinking you had major cred what i thought yet another reason to love virgin…. don’t apologise embrace.”


Virgin Australia wasn’t the only verified account to put West in his place.  The Grammy Awards allegedly responded to West’s demand for Album of the Year, though they also deleted it shortly after.


I’m not 100% positive that this is the Grammy account, only because there is no blue badge.  Still, what a dig:




The Grammys Put Kanye West In His Place



It’s rumored that West had a meltdown on February 13th, and nearly walked out of Saturday Night Live because he wasn’t happy with the set.


SNL creator Lorne Michaels and Kim Kardashian had to calm West down until he agreed to stay and perform.


Thursday, February 11, 2016

Martin Shkreli Attempts to Purchase Sole Rights to New Kanye West Album, Remains Evil Douche

Former pharmaceutical exec and noted penis hole Martin Shkreli took his campaign to become the real-life incarnation of a Mr. Burns-like cartoonish supervillain to a new level moments ago, announcing on Twitter that he’d like to purchase the sole rights to Kanye West’s long-anticipated seventh studio album, The Life of Pablo.


Failing that, Shkreli says, he at least wants to prevent the record from being released on time. 



In an open letter to the rapper posted online moments ago, Shkreli wrote, “Instead of releasing this product for your millions of fans, I ask you to sell this recording solely to me, for the price of $ 10,000,000.


“I believe you (and your partners) will find this financial arrangement more attractive than your current course of action.”


Shkreli later tweeted, “Kanye and his label are legally required to take my offer letter to their Board of Directors …This should delay the album by a few days.”


You may remember that Shkreli purchased the only copy of the Wu Tang Clan’s Once Upon a Time in Shaolin back in December.


The difference there was that the Wu had always planned on selling a single copy to a wealthy super-fan, in hopes that said aficionado would eventually make the disc available to the public.


Shkreli has yet to do so, and he’s since butted heads with Ghostface Killah and other Wu Tang members as a result.


With Kanye, of course, Shkreli is taking on the hip hop world’s most famous ego, and it seems unlikely that the former hedge fund manager actually expects Yeezy to make a deal.


That said, we’re sure Mr. West will handle this elaborate act of trollery in a rational, level-headed fashion. Just kidding, ‘Ye’s about to go off on this dweeb.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Scott Disick, Tyga & Chris Brown: New Douche Squad Alert!

Ladies and gentlemen, we are (not) proud to present a new douche squad on the horizon.



Seminal members include Tyga, Scott Disick and, of course, Chris Brown.


The three were seen partying together at Tyga’s house last night around 9:30 p.m. with who else but a bunch of model-type women, a source tells E! News.


The Lord Disick was reportedly “full on trying to hook up” with one of the women, evidently not giving a hoot about discretion.


“Scott was with one girl the whole time, holding her hand and leading her around the house,” claimed the source. “They were laughing, smiling, and it was obvious Scott was into her. They’d disappear for a while and come back.”


Jeebus, this dude REALLY knows how to blow it, doesn’t he? 


Scott has made it very clear that he wants to win his ex Kourtney Kardashian back, and it almost seemed like he was making strides in that arena over the past week.


Last week, Kourt shared a throwback pic of the two of them as a couple before their kids were born, and just yesterday they were photographed together arm in arm while shopping in Calabasas.


And now this. Guess you can’t teach an old d-bag new tricks. Like, how not to act like a d-bag.


As for Tyga, well, he wasn’t seen drinking, but he did smoke with Chris Brown.


T-Raww’s girlfriend Kylie Jenner was nowhere to be found, but she did say the other day that she plans to marry the rapper, because, well, we have no stinking idea.


After the pre-game party, the squad headed to 1OAK nightclub in West Hollywood, but weren’t there for long. The source noted that some of the girls went back to Tyga’s place after they left the club.


I mean, COME ON.


Each of these guys’ reputations reads like a chapter from the How to Be a Gigantic Piece of Sh*t handbook: the alcoholic philanderer, the dude who hits on underage chicks and, of course, the convicted girlfriend beater.


What a grand posse they make together.


We’ve heard Justin Bieber’s application for membership is still pending.


Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Hailey Baldwin Just Made Justin Bieber Look Like a "Douche Bag"

Things are clearly getting serious between Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin.


Because the long-time friends were caught kissing while on vacation together in the Virgin Islands last week?



Yes, that is certainly the main reason.


But also because Bieber and Baldwin continue to spend time together and continue to make it clear just how much fun they have together.


Consider the photo above as the most recent case in point.


Bieber shared the image on Instagram yesterday, joking about his unusual hairstyle and blaming his rumored new girlfriend for why he has it.


“Hailey made me get corn rows like an absolute douche bag,” Bieber wrote as a caption.


Two key things to note:


  1. Baldwin is touching Justin’s head.

  2. Bieber referred to Baldwin simply as “Hailey,” a somewhat intimate and personal gesture. He clearly assumes we all know who “Hailey” is at this point.

Added the artist of the cornrows:


“These will be off tomorrow trust me.”


That’s probably for the best.


Bieber and Baldwin have been pals for many years, often posing together on social media (below) and clearly getting along very well.


But Baldwin constantly denied any sort of romantic connection to the superstar, insisting over and over that she and Bieber were just “friends.”


And that may have been true. Heck, it may still be true.


At the very least, however, Baldwin will need to add a word to this relationship description. They may be friends, but they are friends with BENEFITS.


If. You. Know. What. We. Mean.


Monday, October 19, 2015

Martin Shkreli: Pharma Douche Got So Mad at Bernie Sanders He Pretended to Punch a Wall

You may remember Martin Shkreli as the douche who jacked up the price of a life-saving drug by more than 5,000 percent.


People all over the Internet set aside their political differences and banded in together in their shared hatred of Shkreli, eventually shaming him into promising to lower the cost of the drug.



A month later, he has yet to actually do so, because, well…he sucks.


If you happen to be the one person who has any doubts about Shkreli’s suckiness (Hi, Martin!), perhaps your mind will be changed by the hilarious tale of how this sh-tbag got so mad at a presidential candidate that he decided to fake a toddler tantrum:


It all started when Shkreli attempted to troll Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders by donating $ 2,700 to his presidential campaign.


When Sanders awesomely refused the donation and decided instead to donate the same amount to a public health clinic, Shkreli got so mad that he stamped his little feet until someone paid attention.


“SO ANGRY AT @BernieSanders I COULD PUNCH A WALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Shkreli tweeted last night.


As if that weren’t melodramatic enough, he followed it up by tweeting, “Ugh, does anyone know how to treat a wrist fracture without going to a hospital?”


When a follower asked, “Doofus you actually punched the wall, huh?” Shkreli replied, “yeah and now one bone is sticking out.”


This is where the con gets elaborate – and hilariously lame.


In an effort to prove that he’s a totally pissed off badass and not a pale virgin with a trust fund, Shkreli tweeted a photo of his “broken wrist.”


Fortunately, the folks at Gawker quickly pointed out that he clearly just pulled an image from the web and photoshopped his name onto it. 




Martin Shkreli X-Ray



Once busted, Shkreli desperately backpedaled with the old OMG, I was totally joking, LOLZ! Gotcha! routine.


Of course, anyone who’s ever dealt with a remorseful toddler or the worst kind of grownup douche has seen this routine before and can recognize how sadly hilarious and hilariously sad it is.


In conclusion, Martin Shkreli remains the worst.