Breaking News
Baker Mayfield took ANOTHER jab at Hue Jackson … AND joked about a crotch grab that got him suspended — and it all went down in a video skit with Peyton Manning‘s bro.
Baker went on Cooper Manning‘s “Manning Hour” — a FOX NFL Sunday skit...
Baker Mayfield Takes Shot At Hue ... Jokes About Crotch Grab
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 22, 2019
Baker Mayfield Takes Shot At Hue ... Jokes About Crotch Grab
Saturday, January 5, 2019
Terrence Howard Kevin Hart"s Homophobic Jokes ... All Part of Comedy
EXCLUSIVE
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Terrence Howard Kevin Hart"s Homophobic Jokes ... All Part of Comedy
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Comedian Ron Funches Keep On Ripping Louis C.K. For Parkland Jokes I Don"t Like Him!!!
EXCLUSIVE
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Comedian Ron Funches Keep On Ripping Louis C.K. For Parkland Jokes I Don"t Like Him!!!
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
18 Most Awful/Hilarious Dad Jokes of All-Time
Dads, huh?
They may mean well. They may love you and be protective of you and do absolutely anything for you.
But that doesn"t mean they also won"t make your eyes roll with a classic Dad Joke.
Below, we present either the 18 best or 18 worst Dad Jokes in the history of the Internet. You may decide for yourself which category they belong in…
1. What About the Glue?
A-HA! You walked right into that one!
2. Some People Might Not Find This Funny
We are not among those people.
3. The Sun Came Out Tomorrow
It happened!
4. A Lesson in Grammar
And a funny lesson in that!
5. Wait For It… Wait For It…
… Keep waiting for it.
6. What Do You Meme?
The Internet has really opened up a whole new avenue for Dad Jokes.
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Barack Obama Brings Down the (White) House: His Best Jokes!
Barack Obama will be looking for a job in January.
And while we doubt it"s a possibility, let"s all hope the current Commander-in-Chief considers becoming a stand-up comedian.
Because it"s clear, based on the following jabs n jokes at the 2016 White House Correspondents" Dinner, that the leader of the free world is an expert with his delivery and timing… and material.
(NOTE: Watch the full speech now.)
1. Look Who’s Here!
Kendall Jenner is also here and we had a chance to meet backstage. She seems like a very nice young woman. I’m not exactly sure what she does, but I am told that my Twitter mentions are about to go through the roof.
2. This is Not What I Had in Mind
Eight years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of our politics. In hindsight, I clearly should’ve been more specific.
3. On His Rising Popularity
The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide on my major.
4. Anxious to Leave
You might’ve heard that someone jumped the White House fence last week. But I have to give the Secret Service credit. They found Michelle, brought her back. She’s safe back at home now. It’s only nine more months, baby. Settle down!
5. On Visiting England, Seeing Shakespeare and Playing Golf with David Cameron
Just in case anybody is still debating whether I’m black enough, I think that settles the debate.
6. A Shout-Out to Harriet
If this material works well, I’m gonna use it at Goldman-Sachs next year. Earn me some serious Tubmans.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Kelly Ripa Makes Live! Return, Jokes About "National Nightmare"
Kelly. Ripa. Is. BACK!
Following the most tumultuous week of her professional life, Ripa made good on her promise of returning to Live! on Tuesday morning.
And she didn’t waste any time in addressing the gap-toothed elephant in the room.
Dressed in a sleeveless red pantsuit, Ripa walked out on the set hand-in-hand with Michael Strahan.
She then stood by herself, to the right of the table, and soaked in wild applause from the audience.
“Our long national nightmare is over,” Kelly said with a smile.
“I first want to honestly, sincerely thank you for welcoming me back to the show. The show of support in this bizarre time has been overwhelming.”
Ripa, of course, has been off the air since last Tuesday, largely in protest of how ABC waited until the last moment to inform her that Strahan would be leaving Live! in September for a full-time job with Good Morning America.
Ever since, there’s been talk of whether or not ABC would cancel the program… whether Ripa would ever return… and chatter over just how badly she got along with Strahan.
“I needed a couple of days to gather my thoughts. After 26 years with this company, I earned the right,” Ripa went on to say, prior to joking that half the audience had likely called in sick to attend Live! as well.
“So, we get each other,” she quipped.
Kelly went on:
“What transpired over the course of a few days has been extraordinary, in the sense that it started a much larger conversation about communication and consideration and most importantly respect in the workplace.
“And since we’re being honest, I don’t consider this just a workplace. This is my second home.”
At various times, as you can see above, Strahan could be heard laughing and supporting Ripa off screen.
Referencing the apology she allegedly received from ABC and the subsequent long talk she had with them, Ripa added:
“Our parent company has assured me that Live is a priority.”
What about Strahan?
“I am thrilled for Michael. I am thrilled for you. This is a tremendous opportunity and I couldn’t be, and we couldn’t be, prouder of you and everything we’ve accomplished together.
“This is entertainment, it’s supposed to be entertaining, so let’s get back to what we do best and start the show.”
And, with that, Ripa concluded as follows:
“My dad, who was a bus driver for 30 years, thinks we’re all crazy. And I think he’s right!”
What did you think of Ripa’s speech? Did she strike the right tone?
Will you continue to watch the show? Or did you not watch in the first place?
Monday, March 28, 2016
Kylie Jenner: Pissed at Dave Chappelle Over Caitlyn Jenner Jokes?
Our younger readers might not remember a time when Dave Chappelle ruled comedy, but trust us – if Facebook existed back in 2003, you would’ve been sick of everyone from your best friend to your Aunt Doris declaring themselves “Rick James, b–ch.”
Unfortunately, Chappelle’s groundbreaking Comedy Central sketch show ended inauspiciously after 2 proper seasons (and a pieced together portion of a third), but the 42-year-old comic found himself unexpectedly thrust back into the spotlight over the weekend thanks to a very unexpected feud with one of the most popular folks on the Internet:
It all started when Chappelle performed a standup set at the Hollywood Palladium Saturday night.
We don’t know if he was aware that Kylie Jenner and her boyfriend Tyga were part of the sell-out crowd, but their presence certainly didn’t stop him from speaking his mind about Caitlyn Jenner’s transition in his characteristically edgy fashion.
According to TMZ, Kylie was shocked when Chappelle launched into a bit about her dad, and she was seen scowling on her way out of theater.
Those on hand say the routine wasn’t terribly offensive, but did include a line in which Chappelle suggests that Kylie’s brother-in-law, Kanye West, is embarrassed by his association with Caitlyn.
“I said, ‘Kanye, why the long face?"” Chappelle is quoted as saying. “And Kanye replied, ‘Man, you’ll see.’”
By all accounts, Kylie and Caitlyn have been closer than ever in recent months and she’s reportedly extremely sensitive when it comes to jokes at her dad’s expense.
Unfortunately for Kylie, she’s in the unique position of knowing that if she goes to a comedy show in LA, there’s a pretty good chance her family will the subject of ridicule.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
O.J. Simpson Jokes About New Murder Evidence: If the Knife is Rusted, I Can"t Be Busted!
Ealier this month, TMZ reported that back in 1998, a knife was found buried near the home where Ronald Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson had been murdered several years prior.
Many found it hard to believe that a possible key piece of evidence in one of the 20th Century’s most notorious murder cases could have been kept hidden from the public for so long.
Shockingly, however, the LAPD confirmed the discovery and verified the story that the knife had been in the possession of a retired officer for nearly two decades.
Simpson, of course, is currently behind bars on kidnapping and assault charges, but since he’s eligible for parole next year, he was no doubt quite pleased with yesterday’s announcement that no DNA was found on the knife.
In fact, according to his self-proclaimed “BFF,” Simpson thinks the whole situation is just hilarious.
Jeffrey Felix is a retired prison guard who’s soon to release a memoir entitled Guarding the Juice: How O.J. Simpson Became My Prison BFF.
Felix says he and O.J. had a good, raucous laugh over the discovery of the weapon that may have been used to brutally murder Simpson’s wife:
“O.J. thinks the knife thing is a complete joke and he wants to know why it was held on to for 18 years before it was turned in,” Felix said in a recent interview with ABC News.
“He jokingly says, ‘If the knife is rusted, I can’t be busted.’
“O.J. told me one time that only two people alive know who committed the Brentwood murders: Him and Al Cowlings,” Felix recalled. “Al Cowlings was the one that drove the white Bronco and Al Cowlings was O.J.’s best friend.”
So basically O.J. has stopped even pretending that he’s innocent? Good to know.
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Chris Rock Oscars Monologue: The Best Jokes!
So… how did he do?
Chris Rock didn"t just host the 2016 Academy Awards. He hosted the 2016 Academy Awards under the umbrella of controversy over no African-Americans receiving any acting nominations.
Clearly, the beloved comic was going to comment on this issue during his monologue.
And comment he did! Here"s a look at Rock"s most pointed digs and jokes from the 88th annual Oscars:
1. Starting Out Slow:
You realize, if they nominated hosts, I wouldn’t even get this job!
2. On Why He Didn’t Quit as Host:
The last thing I need is to lose another job to Kevin Hart!
3. On Why Blacks Didn’t Care When They Weren’t Nominated in the 1960s:
They were too busy being raped and lynched to care about who won Best Cinematographer. When your grandmother’s swinging from a tree, it’s really hard to care about Best Documentary Foreign – Short.
4. On Jada Pinkett-Smith Boycotting the Ceremony:
Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties — I wasn’t invited!
5. On Why Only Women Get Asked What They’re Wearing:
Because men all dress the same. Rock quipped: “If George Clooney showed up with a lime green tux on and a swan coming out his ass, somebody would ask, ‘What’re you wearing, George?”
6. On Real Problem Facing African-Americans:
This year on the In Memoriam package, it’s just gonna be black people shot by the cops on their way to the movies.
Friday, February 12, 2016
Kanye West Jokes About Kim Kardashian Sex Tape
Kanye West made one enemy at his Yeezus 3 launch party on Thursday night.
But he also tried to make one friend.
As previously detailed, Kanye let those in attendance at this event have a listen to his brand new album, “The Life of Pablo.”
And one lyric on a track from that album references his 2009 MTV Video Music Awards interruption of Taylor Swift, as Kanye raps that he made Swift famous by confronting her on stage.
He also ponders possible sex with Swift and calls her a bitch.
Not cool, ‘Ye. Not cool at all.
Elsewhere on the record, Kanye actually brings up the Kim Kardashian sex tape, calling out the man who porked his wife on video way back in the day.
Raps West:
I bet me and Ray J would be friends if we didn’t love the same b—-h / You might have hit it first, but I’m rich.
Ray J dated Kim Kardashian for many years, of course, until the couple split in 2007.
Right around that time, a sex tape they filmed at home magically appeared online, catapulting Kim to fame and leading to Ray J actually releasing a song in 2013 titled “I Hit It First.”
He’s pretty much our hero.
According to TMZ, meanwhile, West actually ran into Brandy at one point and asked her to tell her brother that he meant no disrespect by this lyric.
He passed along this same message to Ray J’s manager.
How does Ray J feel about the reference? He’s all good with it.
The guy (somehow) has four TV shows on the air right now and he’s STILL receiving a monthly check for Kim Kardashian Superstar purchases.
He hit it first and he made sure that said hit continued to pay off for years to come.
Like we said, Ray J is pretty much our hero.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Rob Kardashian to SUE Kim Kardashian For Jokes About His Weight?!
As you probably know, Rob Kardashian has been going through a bit of a rough patch for the last 18 months or so.
Most of his family has been treating the troubled 28-year-old with kid gloves, but his most famous sister is a firm believer in tough love:
Yes, Kim Kardashian never really went easy on Rob, and lately, she’s been reveling in poking a bit of fun at her little brother.
It all started when Kim told Rolling Stone that Rob drinks, smokes weed and plays video games all day.
She must’ve enjoyed the response that she got her for telling it like it is, because Kim hasn’t let up since.
If you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians online then you may have witnessed one of Kim’s most brutal burns earlier this season when she described Rob’s tattoo of ex-girlfriend Rita Ora as going from a Barbie doll to a Cabbage Doll after he gained 100 pounds.
Now, Radar Online is reporting that Rob is so angry about the comment that he’s threatening to “sue the ass off” his famous big sister.
Yeesh, we know you’re mad, Rob, but do you really need to seize her most valuable asset?!
“Rob was so enraged when she made the joke that he reached out to seek legal advice right away,” an insider tells Radar.
“He’s got a good case, too, with all the humiliation he’s suffered on social media since the episode aired…The family is begging him not to follow through with it, but Rob insists he’s not backing down.”
It’s possible that he could get a jury to see things his way, but hopefully, Rob has the sense to not go through with this.
Not only is KUWTK still paying his bills, but he’s dealt out his fair share of public humiliation, too.
We seem to recall a certain someone comparing his sister to “the b-tch from Gone Girl” on social media not all that long ago.
Family’s tough Rob, but it only gets tougher when you burn your bridges.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Amy Schumer: I Didn"t Steal Any Jokes!
It’s nearly as taboo as speaking out against Taylor Swift these days, but a group of comedians has come together and put Amy Schumer on notice.
They claim the beloved star has stolen a handful of stand-up jokes, which is pretty much the biggest crime on can commit in this industry.
In a series of Tweets this week, Wendy Liebman, Tammy Pescatelli and Kathleen Madigan ganged up on Schumer, allegedling the Trainwreck star ganked material from each of them.
“Between Amy Schumer doing 1 of my best jokes on her HBO special and this meme of my joke, I’m done with social media,” Liebman wrote in a message that has since been deleted.
Chuck Martin (a writer on Arrested Development) proceeded to jump in and tell Liebman to bring up this topic with fellow comedian Madigan.
He referred to Schumer’s supposed joke-stealing as “maddening.”
Enter Pescatelli from there, who also responded to Liebman’s tweet about Schumer.
Though her reply has since been deleted, it read at one time:
“What has always been amazing to me is that she purports to be a feminist and yet only steals from other female comedians. If we call her on it we are ‘jealous’ or career shamed.
“Be successful. WE want you to do well, just do it will your own material.”
Schumer, who previously denied taking a joke from late friend Patrice O’Neal, denied the latest round allegations on Jim Norton’s SiriusXM radio show on Wednesday.
“I’m being accused of stealing jokes and I wanted to come and talk to you about it and clear my name,” said Schumer.
“Because I would never, ever do that and I never have. And I’m literally going to take a polygraph test and put it on my show this season.”
She then added via Twitter:
“On my life, I have never and would never steal a joke.”
We believe her.
And Liebman, who started this entire controversy in the first place, has now taken to her Twitter account to clarify her position:
“I never said @amyschumer stole my joke.I just said it was the same.It’s possible we both wrote it.I just wanted you to know I wrote it 1st.”
Thursday, November 19, 2015
The View Apologizies for Insensitive Eating Disorder Jokes
Hmmm… perhaps NeNe Leakes was right about the women on The View.
The reality star labeled Joy Behar and company a bunch of “mean girls” this week… and then Joy Behar and company went out and showed why this may be an accurate assessment.
After discussing how both Donald Trump and Ben Carson both said they’ve lost weight while campaigning to be President, Behar, Michelle Collins and Paula Faris started joking around about who’s fat… who’s thin… and whether or not it’s an insult to be called “skinny.”
The conversation was relatively harmless enough.
Until it wasn’t.
Following a commercial break, Behar said the following:
“We were just discussing whether it’s better to become bulimic or anorexic backstage. What do you girls think?”
Collins then replied “definitely bulimic [because] you get to enjoy the meal” and then proceeded to single out a woman off-camera.
“She’s nodding. We have two bulimics here. They agree,” Collins added.
It didn’t take long, as you might imagine, for viewers to hop on Twitter and excoriate the women for their insensitive remarks.
This prompted Behar to make a half-hearted apology upon returning from another commercial break.
“We upset some people. We understand that bulimia is a serious illness. We’re just trying to have some fun over here,” she said.
After Whoopi Goldberg chimed in and said they don’t “mean to offend” anyone, Behar concluded:
“We don’t do it on purpose.”
It’s a pretty rare thing for ignorance to be a worthwhile excuse, Joy. But you keep telling yourself that.
Also, try to actually be funny the next time you want to be insensitive. That helps.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
Blake Shelton Jokes About Love Life: I"m So Fertile!
THIS JUST IN: Blake Shelton is not having a baby with Gwen Stefani.
We don’t think he is, at least.
With his love life squarely in the news these days, the country singer had a little fun on Twitter this morning, interacting with fans and mocking various false reports.
Such as the one that claims Stefani is pregnant with his child.
“Damn, I’m fertile!” Blake wrote in response to a follower who wrote that she, too, is having the artist’s “love child.”
Shelton, of course, split from Miranda Lambert this summer after nearly four years of marriage.
A rep for Stefani then came out early last week and confirmed The Voice panelists are a romantic item. So that much we know to be true.
But everything else? Tabloid claims of babies and weddings and accusations from anonymous sources?
“People can’t be that dumb,” Shelton Tweeted in response to a question about whether folks actually believe such nonsense.
Shelton also agreed with a fan who quoted Jerry Seinfeld (“People who read tabloids deserve to be lied to”) and then went ahead himself and quoted “my friend @BradPaisley” in writing:
“The more they run my name down, the more my price goes up.”
And it appears to be true:
Shelton just announced that he’ll be hosting the 2016 Kids Choice Awards.
Life ain’t too shabby for him at the moment.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
"Kardashian Curse" Inspires Memes, Jokes About Kanye West
As you’ve probably heard by now, Lamar Odom nearly died from a drug overdose last week and is currently undergoing extensive physical therapy
Less than 24 hours after that shocking news broke, we learned that Scott Disick checked into rehab for the sixth time.
The two incidents are probably unrelated, but they’ve led to jokes, speculation, blog posts and memes about the ways in which the Kardashians seem to ruin men’s lives.
It’s ridiculous to think that the women themselves have such a negative impact on the lives of downtrodden dudes like Scott, Lamar and Rob Kardashian, but the guys’ issues may have a common bond.
Perhaps these guys just had trouble coping with the fame and scrutiny that accompanied their involvement with “America’s first family.”
Whatever the case, folks on social media are having a field day with memes like this:
That one was stolen posted to Instagram by famed hack/joke thief The Fat Jew. It’s just one example of the newest form of Kardashian-bashing.
Ragging on the Kardasdhians is one of the Internet’s favorite pastimes, and we would never try to put a stop to it, but if this “Kardashian Curse” trend is to continue, it’s important to keep a few things clear:
- Caitlyn’s life was not ruined. She seems to be doing just fine. Don’t be D-bags, y’all.
- Scott and Lamar almost certainly suffered from substance abuse issues before they got romantically involved with members of the Kard clan. In fact, Kourtney and Khloe deserve credit for expressing their concern and offering help even after their relationships were through.
- Kanye will be just fine. You can see the dude’s ego from space. We can’t be certain about Tyga.
- Rob Kardashian probably suffers from depression. Yes, the constant glare of the reality show spotlight almost certainly isn’t helping his condition, but it’s not like his sisters are planning a two-hour special where they repeatedly bash his testicles with a sledgehammer.
Although come to think of it, that would probably pull in bigger ratings and be less painful to watch than Kim and Kris Humphries’ wedding.
Anyway, fame ruining people’s lives is nothing new, and the Kardashian gals aren’t to blame for their men’s recent misfortunes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t joke about the idea. Hell, we sure did:
Monday, September 21, 2015
Andy Samberg Hosts the Emmys: His Best Jokes!
We"ve already covered the 2015 Emmy Awards winners.
We"ve also recounted the most memorable moments and the fashion hits/misses.
So, what"s left? A critique of the host, of course. Here"s a look at Andy Samberg"s best quotes, jabs and zingers:
1. A Strong Opening:
“Justin Timberlake is not coming,” Samberg said right off the bat, likely letting millions of people down but also acknowleding the popularity of his good friend and frequent collaborator.
2. A Dirty Impression:
Just Google “Girls” and “Allison Williams” and “ass eating” if you don’t get this joke. Maybe don’t do so in front of your boss.
3. On Shows That Went Off the Air This Year:
“And we also said goodbye to True Detective even though it’s still on the air.” ZING! (Also: true!)
4. On the Futuristic Set:
“Not totally sure whether to host the show or get the Sports Almanac back from Biff.” That’s a Back to the Future joke, kids.
5. Oh, He Went There!
“I have to say, I’m so honored to join the proud ranks of past Emmy hosts. Incredible, legendary people like Robert Blake and Bill Cosby . . . oh no, I gotta get outta here.” We have nothing to add to this.
6. What a Hamm
We’ll see Jon Hamm again, Samberg assured us, prefacing this joke with a reference to Better Call Saul: “I’m sure Jon will be nominated for the upcoming prequel, Dick Whitman, Horny Hobo.”
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Andy Samberg Opens The 2015 Emmy Awards With Music And Plenty Of Laughs With Jokes About Donald Trump, Paula Deen, And MORE!
Well that was certainly a mouthful!
Andy Samberg is hosting the 2015 Emmys, which means things got started off with PLENTY of laughs as he named as many shows as he possibly could with a hilarious musical number!
The SNL alum then went on to talk about the diversity amongst all of the candidates, which naturally led him to make a couple of jokes at Donald Trump and Paula Deen‘s expense!
But then things got a bit heated as Andy brought up his beef with fellow comedian Amy Poehler! Who knew they were even feuding??? LOLz!
Ch-ch-check out the hilarious opening (above)!
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