Ryan Lochte may or may not go Dancing with the Stars.
He also may or may not go to prison.
The moronic swimmer – who has won 12 medals in his Olympic career, yet very few fans – has officially been charged with a crime by Brazilian authorities.
Late on Thursday, officials in that country charged Lochte with falsifying a police report, stemming from an incident early on the morning of August 14.
For those somehow unaware of what Lochte allegedly did, a refresher:
He and three U.S. swimming teammates were out late partying in Rio. Which is definitely not a crime.
But Lochte then told the press that the quartet got pulled over in a taxi by a group of thugs who pretended to be policemen.
He claimed they flashed a badge and ordered the Olympians to the ground at gunpoint.
Lochte even made himself sound all tough, saying he initially refused to listen to these supposedly armed criminals.
But then police in the area looked into the allegations and could not find evidence any crime had been committed.
Lochte had already bolted back home to the United States, but his teammates had their passports confiscated and were forced to come clean to the police.
In doing so, the admitted that a drunken Lochte had vandalized a gas station and the teammates did NOT get robbed.
Yes, a gun was pulled on them, but by a security guard who demanded they pay for the damage they had caused at the gas station.
Lochte initially admitted he was not “careful and candid” enough in the way he originally outlined what had happened.
But the public did not respond well to this half-assed apology, prompting Lochte to sit down with Matt Lauer and try again.
This time, he did take “full responsibility,” fighting off (fake?) tears while saying he let his teammates down and adding:
“I don’t want them to think that I left them dry. I took away from their accomplishments by being immature for one night. That’s what hurts the most.”
Still. He never came out and confessed to his complete lying.
Will Lochte actually go to prison for his misguided explanation of events?
It’s possible, at least.
Brazilian officials have already summoned the swimmer to Rio for a hearing, but here’s the thing: the charge is not an extraditable offense.
He can’t be forced to show up in any court.
Moreover, yes, the charge could conceivably land the athlete in jail for up to six months, but there’s a better chance Lochte beats Michael Phelps in a race tomorrow than he spends any time behind bars.
The likelihood is that Lochte’s legal team will negotiate a fine similar to the one that teammate Jimmy Feigen paid: $ 11,000, donated to charity.
The case will then go away.
We wish Lochte would do the same.
When it comes to him Dancing with the Stars, THIS IS WHAT WE THINK OF THAT IDEA.