Thursday, July 21, 2016

Ireland Baldwin Posts Naked Butt on Instagram; Alec Presumably Dead From Rage-Induced Heart Attack

After a brief respite from social media, Ireland Baldwin is back to getting naked on Instagram like it’s her job.




Which, come to think of it, it might be.


Does she have a job? Eh, who cares?


Normally we’re critical of spoiled children of celebrities who don’t even pretend to have aspirations toward acting, or singing, or some other form of cushy employment, but we’re gonna let this one slide.


This is a post-Kardashian world we’re living in, and if Ireland’s boobs can earn her a living, we say go for it.


And no, it’s not just because we enjoy the view.


We just reject the notion that talent is the only way for a celebrity kid to earn a living without resorting to the drudgery of actual employment.


If Evel Knievel and Johnny Knoxville made careers out of their willingness to risk their lives, why can’t Ireland make one out of her willingness to get naked?


Yes, we just compared Ireland Baldwin to Evel Knievel, and yes, we’re as confused by it as you are.


We’re also a little baffled by the origins of Ms. Baldwin’s latest artsy nude pic.


Apparently it’s from a series entitled My Hotel Room by a photographer named Aladdin Ishmael.


The dude literally invites models up to his hotel room so he can photograph them naked.


And here’s the really insane part – they do it!


He’s either the greatest genius or the biggest perv that ever lived. Or both.


Hopefully Ireland didn’t share this story at the dinner table:


Alec: So how was your weekend, honey?


Ireland: Some guy named Aladdin asked me to go up to his hotel room and get naked, so I did.


*family holds up protective garbage bags like they’re in the front row of a Gallagher show as Alec’s head literally explodes, covering the room with gray matter and jowls*