Caitlyn Jenner opened up about the most personal of topics as a guest on HBO’s Any Given Wednesday this week.
As previously detailed, the transgender star spoke to host Bill Simmons about why she’s a Republican, which is something very personal to Jenner.
But it’s not what we’re talking about here.
Instead, we’re talking about the time Caitlyn Jenner considered killing herself.
Remember back when Jenner had operation on her Adam’s apple?
That marked the first time rumors of a sex change really ran rampant on the Internet.
In her interview with Simmons, Caitlyn says that was a body part that she “always hated,” and that a paparazzi photograph of Jenner as she was exiting the doctor’s office nearly prompted her to end her life.
“I could not sleep that night. I’m up at 3 a.m. walking up and down my hallway, thinking, ‘Damn, all this s–t is going to come out tomorrow and it’s going to be horrible,” she said.
“And I said, ‘You know what? Easy way. Go in the other room. You got a gun. Let’s just end it right here."”
What, exactly, was going through her mind at the time?
“No more pain, no more nothing. I don’t have to deal with the tabloids any longer. I don’t have to deal with any of this. And that was probably the lowest I’ve ever gotten.”
So, what changed since then?
Why is she doing so well these days?
The very next morning, Jenner went for a walk. By herself. All alone, except for her thoughts. And they went something like this:
“Wasn’t that, like, the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?. I thought, ‘What a terrible way to end your life’s story!’ I don’t want my story to end that way, on a negative note.”
This marked a turning point for her, Caitlyn says.
Ever since coming out as transgender in April of 2015, Jenner says the past year and a half have been the “best” months of her life.
“I have never been happier, more at ease with myself,” she told Simmons. “I got my mojo back.”
In the video above, Caitlyn explains how a trip to Las Vegas is far less stressful now than it used to be; all because of… a suitcase?
Watch to see what she means.
Elsewhere in the chat, Jenner is asked about her fame in 1976, immediately after she won the Gold Medal; about nearly being chosen for the role of Superman; and about Kanye West and Kim Kardashian.
What makes her love Kanye to such an extent? What makes her hate North Carolina so much?
Click PLAY to find out:
Editor’s Note: We are so very happy for Caitlyn Jenner and so very pleased that she has found peace.