Tila Tequila: Paris Hilton Killed My Fiancee & I"m Possessed By Satan

Hey, things got pretty crazy this week, didn"t they, America?

It"s times like this that we need the genuine batsh-t insanity of someone like Tila Tequila to remind us that things could always be marginally worse.

As some of our older readers may recall, Ms. Tequila was a popular figure on MySpace, which was an arcane rune-based communications system popular among early homonids in the days before 

The site died an ugly, premature death after overdosing on the milliojns of HTML customizations and Fall Out Boy videos everyone crammed into their personal pages, but Tila"s notoriety has survived.

The reason for this is that she"s hands down the craziest celebrity on the planet.

You"re probably asking yourself, how could she be crazier than Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Donald John Trump?

To which we say, believe it or not, Tila wins that contest by a mile.

We could rattle off a decade"s worth of bizarre incidents as proof — such as the time she claimed to have evidence that Michelle Obama is secretly a man, or the many times she insisted she"s some sort of alien Nazi.

Instead we"ll just share this video in which Tila casually explains that she was possessed for several years and Paris Hilton murdered her fiancee.

"So back in 2012 I was in Hollywood and I was in the world of Satan. I was possessed by Satan. Hollywood is a platform built by Satan," Tila tells the camera.

"They kept sending me to doctors to overdose me and kill me."

From there Tila goes on to describe how the death of her fiancee Casey Johnson was the result of a Satanic ritual orchestrated by Paris and Nicki Hilton.

“Paris and Nicky Hilton sacrificed Casey while I was in Texas. All of the demonic chicks like Courtenay Semel, Jasmine Lennard, The Hilton sisters went against me because they were the one who sacrificed her," Tequila says.

"She told me all of their secrets and then they tried to sacrifice me.”

From there, the ladies busted out some Xans and eight balls, because apparently that"s customary following a ritual sacrifice.

"I was disgusted," Tila says "So I took two Xanax bars and did two 8 balls of cocaine. Satan had me so on drugs.”

Check out the whole 40-minute (!!!) video for more insanity.

Hopefully, it"s the first episode of a new talk show entitlted It"s the Tequila Talking!

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Tila Tequila: Pregnant With Baby #2!

If you’re not familiar with Tila Tequila … well, then you may want to stop reading now.

You’re definitely better off living the rest of your life in blissful ignorance of this pint-sized demon lady.

However, if you’re already unfortunate enough to be familiar with Tila’s racist, hateful way of life, then you might as well stay informed about this long national nightmare.

As you may already know Tequila welcomed a child back in 2014, which is an odd phrase for a number of reasons.

Now, it seems there’s another worm in the bottle … or something.

“The Lord God has blessed me with baby #2!!!!!” Tila wrote on her official Facebook page today.

“Praise the Father in Heaven for He is merciful and graceful! I give glory to Him every day.”

Yes, Tila is as racist and seemingly mentally ill as ever, but she’s also super into God these days.

As a result, her birth announcement sounded like something Samuel L. Jackson would say after taking a bite of your Big Kahuna burger:

“May all the blood of the saints be brought to justice for the time has come! The time hath come for our Father God in heaven to reveal himself to us!” Tila wrote.

“The time hath cometh when great hailstones of fire and brimestone will shoot across the heavens down to the earth to smite every wicked tongue that has cursed his name!”

Needless to say, Ms. Tequila is extremely stable these days and there’s no reason to be deeply concerned by the fact that she’ll soon be responsible for the health and safety of two children.

She went on to reveal that she was targeted for death by the Illuminati and warn her haters that they’ll soon be struck down by Jesus:

“They tried to kill me in 2012 but Jesus brought me back to life and now all the illuminati fear me because my God is mighty!!!” Tila wrote.

“Meanwhile, I find it hilarious how all the haters have been calling me ‘fat’ and telling me that God is going to punish me for the things I have been saying and always trying to send curses my way,” she added.

“But God took all your wretched curses and turned them into huge blessings for me instead!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!”

You have to appreciate the deftness with which she alternates between ultra-basic Valley girl and dude who filled the food pantry of his backyard bomb shelter with nothing but Bibles and AR-15s.

Anyway, um … congrats to Tila – and best of luck to her future son or daughter.

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Tila Tequila Pushes for #PURGE, Wants People to Die

We try not to write about Tila Tequila very often.

The former reality star is one of two things:

1. Desperate for attention.


2. Mentally deranged.

It could easily be a combination of both, of course.

About a year ago, for example, Tequila wrote that Michelle Obama is a man and that she controls the universe.

We’ve actually ignored her ramblings ever since because, come on… they are just the ramblings of a mad woman.

But we can’t ignore some of Tila’s latest nonsense. It’s simply too ridiculous and, quite frankly, too offensive.

For example, Tequila wrote on Facebook yesterday that God has made sure she will live forever and that others keep dying because they deserve it.

In fact, Tequila hopes these people continue to die and that the world is purged of those who are wicked and evil.

She, of course, is NOT one of these people because she was sent here by God to carry out His wishes and pass along His message.

“Yesterday I warned more wicked people on my FB page to beware of more deaths coming their way and behold! Today there are many DEATHS reported in the news!” she wrote.

Added Tila:

” Lmao! #ThankYouJesus I pray This #PURGE continues and will pick up more traction over time to such a high level that people will be left in shock and awe of what’s happening….

“so that they will KNOW THAT HE IS THE LORD GOD AND WAS THE ONE WHO SENT ME TO PUNISH YOU WICKED AND EVIL-DOERS!”

In a reply to a comment on her Facebook page, Tequila also referenced the President.

She doesn’t seem to be a fan of Donald Trump, but she’s also glad he’s in office.

“Donald Trump IS also a manifestation of God’s wrath upon you all! True story!!” she wrote, adding:

“And he will be in office for the next 8 years to keep you all in torment! Brilliant!”

Throughout the year, meanwhile, Tila has pointed to various deaths as a sign that people who do not repent will be punished by the Almighty.

For instance, this is what she had the gall to write upon the death of Cranberries lead singer Dolores O’Riordan:

Heck, Tequila even celebrated, in her warped way, the death of Ellen DeGeneres’ father and other natural disasters that took the lives of thousands.

It’s really horrible stuff.

We hate to even give Tila a platform here.

We do think it’s important for two reasons, however:

1. She needs mental help and perhaps public pressure will prompt her to seek it out.


2. Do not believe a word this woman says.

Here’s another example of Tequila comparing herself to Jesus Christ:

In November of 2016, Tequila showed a love for Nazis online and got suspended by Twitter.

We’re not sure what it will take for the same thing to happen here with Facebook.

For Tila’s own sake, she really needs to get off this social media network and re-evaluate her life.

In every way one possibly can.

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Tila Tequila: Michelle Obama Is a Man & I Control the Universe!

If you were hoping that 2017 would be a year without Tila Tequila, we regret to inform you that the former MySpace celebrity (yes, she’s been around that long) is still posting absolutely batsh-t rants on social media, and they’re simply too insane to ignore.

Tila is a Trump supporter (because of course she is) and these days her psychotic ramblings have taken on a political slant.

And just what kind of alt-right nonsense is Tila currently spewing?

Well, she’s going above and beyond the usual lunacy of the Pepe the Racist Frog crowd, which is no easy feat.

Tila’s psychosis seems to come in spurts, and her current frenzy began on Christmas Day, when she posted this almost-too-bonkers-to-believe tirade on her Facebook page:

“It’s almost 2017 and for those of you who are still complaining about Donald Trump you fail to realize that you are no longer living in the same reality that you once knew.

We have merged into an alternate timeline now in an alternate Universe! The truth is stranger than fiction and in this alternative universe sh!t is gonna keep getting weirder so you might as well let go of your previous attachments now.

Next up is time traveling and teleporting. If you are still confused about it all then do not worry for I am the navigator of this Universe! Remember “Teela” in ‘Masters of the Universe?”

Well, that was me! I’ve been hacking timelines and named a cartoon based on myself. Seriously.”

Tila took to the comments to show off her Vladimir Putin impression, adding, “Donald Trump is my puppet.”

And it seems it’s not just world leaders who are under Tila’s control, but also birds. Yes, birds:

“I’ve uncovered a new skill that I have! Yesterday I saw a huge falcon and I was able to control the way it was flying by motioning it with my arms!” Tila recently wrote, seemingly without irony.

“Today I started doing it again and not only did I have all the Ravens follow me but I was able to tell them to go and get more and a huge flock came over! It was so f**king badass! I’m becoming more powerful by the day! #BadassB!tch”

On Saturday, Tila turned her attention back to controlling humanity, declaring that she would manipulate the of the New England Patriots-Houston Texans game in the Texans favor.

New England won the game 34-16, which is making us question wonder if Tila has overstated her powers.

But that very public setback didn’t keep Tila down for long, and she bounced back with some of her finest lunacy to date, this time adding a little transphobic hate speech into the mix:

“How many of you have cartoon characters literally named after you? I do because I am obviously the master of the Universe! I time travelled back here to fix where you all f**ked up!

“I hacked it so Trump would win since Obama was the anti-Christ! He fooled you all with his charm and his man of a “wife” Michael aka Michelle Obama!

“You all cheer on a F–king TRANNY as your 1st lady! Time to make all the wrongs right again! Sick of this sh!t! #AllHailTheQueen“

Tila also informed her fans that she’s currently on vacation in Jamaica, which is surprising, as not only has she been unemployable for the better part of a decade, she recently launched a Kickstarter in which she begged for rent money.

Just another day in the life of everyone’s favorite Nazi cyborg alien.

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Tila Tequila Does Nazi Salute, Gets Suspended from Twitter

Twitter has had enough of Tila Tequila.

Last Saturday, an alt-right convention was held in Washington D.C., with Richard Spencer leading a gathering of the National Policy Institute in showering Donald Trump with praise.

But not for his views on gun control, taxes or abortion.

For the fact that the President-Elect is helping to once again make this an all “white country.”

Among the attendees at this disturbing event was Tila Tequila, the former model and reality star who has shown numerous signs over the years of having severe mental issues.

For example, Tila once said that Beyonce is a demon who is all about destroying the souls of children around the world.

In this same Twitter rant from May, Tila came right out and said she is a “white nationalist.”

She also once shared a photo of her infant daughter with a Hitler mustache.

We hate to give her any kind of platform or attention, but Tequila made national headlines over the weekend when she Tweeted a photo of herself holding up the Nazi salute during a dinner at Maggianos Little Italy restaurant.

She did so alongside other members of National Policy Institute, as you can see below:

In response to this outrageous image, the restaurant posted a statement on Facebook apologizing for Tequila’s actions… and her Twitter account was later suspended.

“On Friday night, Maggiano’s in Friendship Heights was the inadvertent site of a protest that caused us to close our restaurant to protect the safety of our Teammates and Guests,” wrote the eatery on social media, adding:

“The protesters were upset because of a banquet we were hosting for a group called the National Policy Institute (NPI). This was a last minute booking made Friday afternoon, and the reservation was made under a different name, therefore we were not aware that NPI was dining with us or what the group represents.

After the event, an attendee sent a tweet in which she made a “Sieg Heil salute” in support of Hitler and white supremacy.

“This expression of support of Hitler is extremely offensive to us, as our restaurant is home to Teammates and Guests of every race, religion and cultural background.

“We want to sincerely apologize to the community of Friendship Heights for inadvertently hosting this meeting, which resulted in hateful sentiment.

“We want you to know that at the suggestion of one of our Guests, we are donating the profits from our restaurant sales on Friday, $ 10,000, to the DC office of the Anti-Defamation League, which for decades has been working to bring people together in peace and understanding.”

Of course, no one is really focused now on the role of Maggiano’s here. 

Although the restaurant has released an admirable statement and taken admirable actions.

Below, meanwhile, we’ve shared a video of Spencer’s speech.

In it, he leads the crowd in a chant of “Hail Trump, hail our people, hail victory.”

Richard Spencer Leads Neo-Nazis in “Hail Trump” Salute

Tequila is somewhere in this crowd.

We can’t exactly say we’re surprised.

But we can say the following:

EWWWW! GROSS! DISGUSTING! YOU ARE ALL TERRIBLE, AWFUL PEOPLE!

Please come out and strongly denounce them, President-Elect Trump.

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Tila Tequila: Beyonce is a Devil-Worshipping Demon!

If you don’t follow her on Twitter, you might not be aware that Tila Tequila is pretty much a bonafide, real-live crazy person.

Tila’s racist rants and violent threats are basically the social media equivalent of a ten-car pileup.

We know we should look away, but for some reason, we just can’t.

Usually, the whole routine smacks of trolling, and we hate to give any attention to bigoted D-list pseudo-celebs, but it’s hard not to when they’re threatening to shoot up movie theaters.

Lately, the public’s interest in Tila’s lunatic ramblings has dwindled, so she’s been forced to take on tougher opponents in order to grab the retweets she craves like oxygen.

First Tila took on Azealia Banks. 

Now she’s going after the Bey Hive.

Yes, in a nonsensical tirade posted last night, Tila decided to attack Beyonce, thus ensuring that she’ll incur the ire of the Internet’s most fervent fan base:

“Why does @Beyonce  try so hard to act “hood?” If a riot broke out I assure you she would be the last person there helping anyone.

“As a matter of fact, I am actually more “hood” than @Beyonce since I live in Houston. I just happen to be a white nationalist.”

Not offensive enough for you?

Don’t worry, she goes on to explain her theory that Beyonce is a witch who sacrificed Aaliyah in order to seal her deal with the Devil:

“If anything is to be said about @Beyonce it’s that she sold her soul & is now partaking in the destruction of our children. #SellOut

“She had to blood sacrifice Aaliyah in order to make room for the witch @Beyonce But she will NEVER be as great as Aaliyah! … The real Beyonce was replaced. She now has the demonic 1 to do her bidding.”

She concluded her anti-Bey rant with this cherry on top of the batsh-t sundae:

“Vaccinated people are really weak, subservient and obedient drones. It’s us against them! … I am serious! Vaccines causes mutations in your DNA that turns you gay!”

Yes, now that Azealia Banks has been booted off Twitter, Tila Tequila is officially the Troll Queen of the Internet.

Long may she reign.

On second thought, if she could just go ahead and STFU, that would be great.

Tila Tequila: Beyonce is a Devil-Worshipping Demon!

If you don’t follow her on Twitter, you might not be aware that Tila Tequila is pretty much a bonafide, real-live crazy person.

Tila’s racist rants and violent threats are basically the social media equivalent of a ten-car pileup.

We know we should look away, but for some reason, we just can’t.

Usually, the whole routine smacks of trolling, and we hate to give any attention to bigoted D-list pseudo-celebs, but it’s hard not to when they’re threatening to shoot up movie theaters.

Lately, the public’s interest in Tila’s lunatic ramblings has dwindled, so she’s been forced to take on tougher opponents in order to grab the retweets she craves like oxygen.

First Tila took on Azealia Banks. 

Now she’s going after the Bey Hive.

Yes, in a nonsensical tirade posted last night, Tila decided to attack Beyonce, thus ensuring that she’ll incur the ire of the Internet’s most fervent fan base:

“Why does @Beyonce  try so hard to act “hood?” If a riot broke out I assure you she would be the last person there helping anyone.

“As a matter of fact, I am actually more “hood” than @Beyonce since I live in Houston. I just happen to be a white nationalist.”

Not offensive enough for you?

Don’t worry, she goes on to explain her theory that Beyonce is a witch who sacrificed Aaliyah in order to seal her deal with the Devil:

“If anything is to be said about @Beyonce it’s that she sold her soul & is now partaking in the destruction of our children. #SellOut

“She had to blood sacrifice Aaliyah in order to make room for the witch @Beyonce But she will NEVER be as great as Aaliyah! … The real Beyonce was replaced. She now has the demonic 1 to do her bidding.”

She concluded her anti-Bey rant with this cherry on top of the batsh-t sundae:

“Vaccinated people are really weak, subservient and obedient drones. It’s us against them! … I am serious! Vaccines causes mutations in your DNA that turns you gay!”

Yes, now that Azealia Banks has been booted off Twitter, Tila Tequila is officially the Troll Queen of the Internet.

Long may she reign.

On second thought, if she could just go ahead and STFU, that would be great.

Tila Tequila & Azealia Banks Attack Each Other in Racist Twitter War For the Ages

If you’re not familiar with Tila Tequila and Azealia Banks, just know that they’re a couple of Z-list a-holes who have committed themselves to making the Internet – and the world – worse for everyone by spewing hateful, racist nonsense on a daily basis.

So far this year, Tila has threatened to shoot up a movie theater, posted a photo of her daughter with a Hitler mustache, claimed to be an alien with a robot brain, and started a GoFundMe page so that she can start shopping at Target, because she feels there are too many black people at Wal Mart.

Not to be outdone in the bigoted psycho department, Ms. Banks issued an online death threat, encouraged a suicidal fellow artist to kill herself, and called for Sarah Palin to be “gang raped by black men.”

Sadly, even though we have the technology, our society has not started equipping people like this with weapons and luring them into a video camera-equipped space shuttle where they can do battle for our amusement while orbiting the Earth at a safe distance.

Fortunately, people who are awful in such similar ways will inevitably seek each out and expend their energy being terrible to one another, which is exactly what happened on Twitter today:

It all started when Tila spewed some insanity about Banks’ comments about Palin:

View Slideshow: Azealia Banks and Her Beefs: Who’s She Shading Now?

“@AZEALIABANKS blacks with your mentality DO accept slavery & you continue to endorse it. Bravo genius!” Tequila tweeted.

“The purge is real, it’s happening, and many I have returned to deliver messages directly from heaven to humanity of what is coming!” she continued.

“@AZEALIABANKS will DEFINITELY NOT be allowed to enter heaven once the purge is over. She has but little time, if any, left 2 get right…The Afircan Americans in heaven where I currently reside would very much disagree with @AZEALIABANKS n–gerish behavior.”

Banks is probably one of the only people on the planet who man match Tequila in terms of racially-charged lunacy, and she brought her A-game in response:

“I’m not a Christian and I don’t believe in heaven. Furthermore, I don’t remember there being any Asians in the bible,” she tweeted to Tila.

“Girl, if you don’t go back the the fortune cookie sweatshop with this mess…Go make me some cat fried rice.”

You get the idea – super racist, super awful, super Tila Tequila and Azealia Banks.

Someone get these two a reality show ASAP!

Tila Tequila DISSES Big Ang After Death: "Why Is Everyone So Sad?"

It’s may be hard to believe, but there is a celebrity (though we use that term loosely) that absolutely DESTROYS Kanye West when it comes to batsh*t insane Twitter rants, and it is Tila Tequila.

We’re all highly disturbed and aware of her recent racist diatribes, claims of being God and threats to shoot up a movie theater.

And now she’s insulting a woman in the wake of her death after a battle with cancer.

In a Facebook post, Tila shared a link about the “tragic final moments” of former Mob Wives star Big Ang, who died last week, and wrote some words of disrespect about the recently deceased (typos have been included):

“do you guys think she deserves to be praised ? i mean she was the wife of a serial murderer mobster why is everyone so sad ?”

In actuality and despite her show’s title, Big Ang was not married to a mobster. Her husband Neil Murphy was a sanitation worker and a contractor. 

“did she cry for the families her husband destroyed ?” she continued in the same post. “i dont understand why everyone feels so sad lol what do you guys think ?”

Now, it’s not like Tila is the pillar of sensitivity or propriety (or for that matter, sanity), but bashing someone less than a week after they died of stage 4 cancer is pretty low.

Ironically, however, just three days prior, she posted a photo of herself with Big Ang (and Amarosa), writing a touching tribute that gave some high praise to the reality TV star.

“I am terribly sad to hear that Big Ang has passed away! I didn’t know her well, but when I met her she was the only other celebrity who was friendly with me, and always sat next to me. She was asking me a lot about Izzy, and then shared pics of her family to me, and told me what a blessing babies are! She was a very fun, and free spirit for the short time that I got to spend with her! R.I.P. Big Ang! You will be missed dearly! ‪#‎BigAng‬ ‪#‎MobWives‬”

Tila’s erratic behavior is honestly no laughing matter.

Her baby daddy Thomas Whitaker is suing her for full custody of their one-year-old daughter Isabella, citing that Tila is mentally unstable and suffers from delusions of grandeur.

It’s impossible to truly understand what is going through this woman’s brain, but we do hope she gets the help she needs… fast.

Tila Tequila Goes on Racist Rant, Posts Photos of Her Butt

As you probably already know, Tila Tequila is a crazy person.

We don’t mean she’s a little eccentric, or she has an odd way of looking at the world, we mean that in all likelihood, she’s clinically and dangerously insane. If you don’t believe us, just check out her Twitter activity over the past 24 hours.

It started yesterday when Tila threatened to shoot up a movie theater and then proceeded to announce her new phone sex line, which she advertised with the above pics, captioned – for some reason – #BlackAsianBootyLivesMatter.

And that was just the start of the racially-charged insanity.

From there, Tila declared herself God, then stated that she intends to start a race war. No, really:

“I am for real on my way to Target. I’ll be safe there since the colored shops at Wal-mart,” Tila tweeted, apparently referencing the fact that she recently raised thousands of dollars on GoFundMe for the stated purpose of helping her move into a bigger apartment and switch to a different retail giant.

From there, things got really, really crazy, even by the standards of a woman who claims to have a robot brain and believes the Earth is flat.

Here’s a small sample of Tila’s most insane/hateful tweets from the past few hours:

• “But seriously! Leave the blacks alone! Just cuz they pray 2 their fried chicken God does not make them different than us who have real Gods!”


• “I am God. “


• “First the Jews, then the Feds, and now the blacks. *sighs* I feel like Kim Jong. So ronery!”


• “I bet all the blacks here just smoked a blunt.”


• “No one can defeat me! I am God and shall be worshipped as such!”


• “I will always despise humanity and my disdain for them shall always remain no matter how hard I am being brainwashed!”


• “Please don’t give me that ‘we all bleed the same underneath’ crap! Cuz I don’t even bleed!”


• “All the white people are secretly worshipping right now.”


• “As much as I’d like to continue this race war that I have single handedly incited, I must go take care of my kid. We finna eat breakfast!”

Yes, just another day in the life of the craziest person on Twitter. Sorry, Kanye. You’ve officially lost that title.

Tila Tequila Threatens to Shoot Up Movie Theater

Move over, Kanye West.

There’s a new crazy Twitter user in town.

Okay, Tila Tequila being crazy on Twitter really is nothing new.

This is the same person who recently claimed the Earth is flat and who also said obese people deserve so die.

But now the troubled former reality star really may have crossed a line. Multiple lines, in fact.

In Tila’s latest Twitter meltdown, she first defended her use of the N-Word by pointing the finger at artists who use the epithet in their songs.

@NICKIMINAJ has a song where she says “N—-” over 100 times & has violent gun visuals 2 the music vid! What outcome did u expect?

The argument that African-Americans should stop using this word if they don’t want others using it is not all that insane, not for Tequila at least.

But then Tila went ahead and got very racist when responding to a user who took exception to her viewpoint, writing:

No need for name calling! All I did was eat some fried chicken and drink grape soda yesterday! Chill bro!

Racism aside, Tequila also alleged once again that she is God’s daughter… that she is Jason Bourne’s sister… that she is a “Super Soldier” created by the Nazis.

At one point on her rant, Tila admitted that 90% of what she says is just “trolling” and that’s fine. We get that someone like Tequila is desperate for attention and that Twitter is a place where she can get it.

But then she also wrote the following:

I have been sitting in 1 single room for 5 hours! I am being brainwashed again. As soon as I leave here I am going to shoot up a theater.

There’s nothing funny there. There’s no joke to be made about a mass shooting.

Tila deleted this Tweet soon after it went live because even she knew it had gone too far.

But it’s still out there for all to see. This woman needs years of professional help.

Tila Tequila Baby Daddy Demands Full Custody of Child

Tila Tequila is in danger of losing her only child.

According to TMZ sources, baby daddy Thomas Whitaker is seeking full legal custody of one-year-old Isabella, asking a court to put him in charge all decisions concerning the little girl.

In documents obtained by the aforementioned site, Whitaker claims Tila has delusions of grandeur, such as believing she’s God.

Tequila has certainly posted her share of unusual thoughts, messages and photos over the years.

Most recently, Tila wrote about being an alien messiah.

This rant followed a diatribe in which Tequila said the Earth was flat.

There was also the time she drew a Hitler mustache on her baby daughter. That wasn’t cool at all.

Thomas says he and Tila do not have a formal custody arrangement at the moment.

He’s asking a judge to grant him child support, and also to change Isabella’s last name from Nguyen (Tila’s actual last name) to Whitaker.

Whitaker also wants to make it illegal for Tequila to drink within 24 hours of having Isabella in her custody and illegal for her to talk trash about him to their child.

This is merely a first step for Whitaker.

Ultimately, he confirms that wants physical custody of the infant as well because his daughter would just be safer in his care.

Tila Tequila Posts Photos of Boobs, Daughter

No one is really sure what Tila Tequila does or why she’s still famous, but one thing is for sure: she has one hell of an interesting Instagram page.

What you see above are three photos that Tila posted in quick succession last night.

The first is a photo of her daughter, Isabella. The second two kinda speak for themselves.

“My precious little tomboy is an advanced intellectual like her Mother,” Tila captioned the photo of her kid. “She will too, become empress of earth!”

Moments later, without irony, Tila posted the middle photo with a caption reading, “I told ya my ass keeps getting bigger! I need to chill out on the cheez-its.”

Take note: Empresses of the Earth love Cheez-Its.

Anyway, this is all very tame by the standards of Ms. Tequila’s social media accounts.

If you haven’t been keeping up, Tila thinks the Earth is flat, Hitler had some good ideas, and we would all respect her more if we could only see her giant, invisible penis. 

We wish we were making that up, but really it’s just the tip of the crazy-pants iceberg. 

At least Tila didn’t dress her baby like Hitler this time. We guess that’s progress.

Tila Tequila Begs for Rent Money, Actually Gets It

Tila Tequila may be an alleged Nazi sympathizer who dresses her daughter up like Hitler.

But she’s still a human being!

This must be the line of thinking taken by a handful of folks out there who have gathered online in order to help Tequila overcome her latest financial troubles.

The former Celebrity Big Brother contestant opened a GoFundMe page last week, asking fans to donate so that she could afford rent and furniture for her and her young daughter.

It’s not surprising that Tila would make such a request.

But it has taken us aback that she surpassed her goal of $ 2,500 in just six days.

“The reason why I am creating this GoFundMe campaign is because they have raised the rent at my old home to $ 4,500 a month,” she wrote, explaining:

“And being a single mother without any support from the father, it can sometimes be very tough taking care of 2 people with only a 1 person income.”

That’s not an abnormal statement on its own of course.

“Right now I need to raise some money so that I can move into my new home and get it furnished for my daughter and I,” she added.

“The last apt I was at came fully furnished and that’s why it was so expensive, but I’d rather save money for my daughter than keep wasting money each month like that.

“So I basically need to buy all the furniture and beddings from scratch to start over if we are to move. It is going to cost a lot to start off, and that is why I am asking you all for your help!”

Incredibly, the troubled Z-Lister – who believes the Earth is flat and who may very be an alien messiah who has seen Jesus – somehow convinced people out there to put money into her account.

“Most people would be so ashamed or embarrassed, but I’m not,” she said of her online begging.

“This is for my daughter so we won’t be homeless and she won’t starve.”

Upon surging past her stated fiscal goal, Tila once again took to Twitter and said she plans on calling every single person who donated in order to thank them for their kindness.

“Oh my God! I cannot believe we actually not only reached our goal, but have actually gone PAST it! This is truly a humbling experience,” she concluded.

Tila Tequila Claims She"s an Alien, the Messiah, and Human Crack-Cocaine in Another Wild Twitter Rant

Tila Tequila is sharing her, um…unique views on Twitter again, and as always, we’re not sure if we should be amused or concerned.

Last week, Tila claimed she has an alien brain and argued that Earth is flat in one of the wildest online rants in recent memory.

Prior to that, Tila shared her belief that “all obese people deserve to die” and shared the news that she has a “giant penis.”

This time, she started out by sharing her belief that the world we live in is part of a Hollywood production, a la The Truman Show.

She went to claim that she predicted the death of David Bowie, before arguing that the moon was placed in the sky by alien engineers.

Then things really got weird:

“The media is trying to spin this as if it’s a joke because the Reptilian rulers of planet earth really don’t want you to know the truth,” Tila tweeted, as her 40,000 followers reached for their popcorn.

“I literally seriously saw Jesus when I died the 7th time & he transferred his energy into me then brought me back,” Ms. Tequila went on.

After that, she broke down her alien DNA:

“Because my dna came directly from the tall alien whites, but the greys are my distant cousins. I have their eyes.”

Then she closed out with a simple explanation of why her tweets are so damn addictive:

“Because I am the embodiment of crack cocaine but on twitter.”

Makes sense. For once, Tila, we might actually be in agreement on something.

Tila Tequila Claims She Has Robot Brain, Earth is Flat in All-Time Twitter Rant

Based on her latest Twitter rant, we believe that Tila Tequila has either lost her mind or is a consummate pro’s pro at Internet trolling.

Not only does she claim the world is flat, but the reality star says she actually died and was replaced by a clone four years ago.

At least she didn’t dress her kid up as Hitler. Well, this time.

To sum up, the 34-year-old alleges that she is actually a Russian spy who died and was replaced by a clone at some point in 2012.

That would be the main takeaway from any one else’s Twitter tirade, but this is Tila Tequila. The girl operates in her own orbit.

Speaking of which, she may not know what orbiting is, since she believes the Earth is flat and described why in hilarious detail.

It’s not clear if these thoughts are being bestowed upon us because she has a robot brain, but they are … out of this world.

So to speak. The earth is flat, the moon isn’t real because it was placed there artificially and is really spaceship. And so on.

We can’t really do justice to Tila’s tweets but here’s a sampling:

Then she demanded answers from NASA and claims she’s going there to get the scoop on the #FlatEarth once and for all, writing:

“I LIVE IN HOUSTON SO I WILL DRIVE DOWN TO @NASA SPACE CENTER MYSELF AND DEMAND THEY ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!”

Persuasive as ALL CAPS TWEETS may be, good luck getting through security. The gatekeepers of the #FlatEarth secrets ain’t playin’.

Anyway, perhaps the best moment of all of this came when she tossed out another “truth bomb” and got taken to school by a follower.

Seriously, this guy apparently attended school at some point in his reasonably educated life. Tila not so much. It’s never too late, girl.

We have no idea who he is or why on #FlatEarth he follows Tila Tequila on Twitter, but we’ll forgive him after this ultimate mic-dropper:

Tila Tequila Goes INSANE on Twitter: Obese People Deserve to Die! I Have a Giant Penis!

Tila Tequila might be insane. We don’t mean she’s a little quirky, or a bit eccentric. We mean she’s the type of mom to put a Hitler mustache on her baby, post the pic on Instagram, and then wonder why everyone’s so upset.

She could be mentally ill, or she may just be the ultimate troll, but either way, Tila’s latest Twitter rant might be one of the great social media meltdowns of all time:

Now, before you read any further, it’s important to remember that Tila’s Nazi views recently got her kicked out of the Celebrity Big Brother house, which meand it’s possible she actually believes this crap.

So, we guess…trigger warning for mind-boggling idiocy. Are we doing that right? Anyway, the following is a bunch of tweets that Tila posted in the past 48 hours and still has not deleted. Enjoy:

• “Sometimes I like to kill things just to see how it dies.”


• “If you need a wheelchair to go grocery shopping because you’re too obese to walk, you deserve to die.”


• “ALL HEIL #HITILA you know the Nazi’s actually won the war in another parallel that dripped over right?”


• “Is it just me or does everyone struggle w/vibrating at such high frequencies that it becomes hard 2 stay in your meat suit?”


• “My apologies about the @MileyCyrus penis ordeal. That happened because I’m always talking about how big my dick is so it manifested.”


• “Rihanna is a replica of me. I was a ‘Good girl gone bad’ way before she was born. I also drowened [sic] in the bathtub.”


• “Everyone really deserves to die.”


• If you can spend your Government cheese feeding that fat ass but cannot afford a healthier lifestyle, you deserve to die.”


• A great #AtomicBomb in the horizon! The future of mankind shall be incinerated. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust #TheEnd


• “Remember when I used to call myself #Tilisis? Then a few years later they ripped me off & called the terrorists Isis!” 

Believe it or not, there are many, many more where that came from.

We have to hand it to her – we didn’t think it was possible for anyone to make Amanda Bynes’ tweets seem like a collection of rational, well-reasoned arguments, but Tila pulled it off!

Tila Tequila Posts Photo of Infant Daughter Wearing Hitler Mustache

Tila Tequila has a long history of saying and doing truly regrettable things on social media.

For some reason, these things often center around her bizarre fondness Adolf Hitler, aka History’s Greatest Monster.

Sadly, that photo is exactly what it appears to be: a close-up of Tila’s daughter, Isabella, sporting a tiny Hitler ‘stache.

Tila posted a photo explaining the image, and, as you might expect, only made things worse:

“Gasps!!! Isabella!!!!! What in the holy??? One day when you grow up, you’re going to have to apologize for this picture, young lady!!! It will come back to haunt you! This way you’ll know all the struggles your Mama has been through, but I remained strong!

“Just for you my #Princess!! I’m only posting this because #BabyHitler was trending on Twitter today! Lmao! Don’t worry! I shall punish her for being a silly child who meant no harm to anyone! She gon learn today!!!”

We’ll do our best to act as translators and try to explain what in the actual f-ck this psycho-mom was trying to say with this post.

As you may recall, Tila posted photos of herself in Nazi regalia a few years back. To make matters worse, the pics were accompanied by lengthy captions describing Tila’s affection for the man responsible for the torture and murder of 6 million Jews.

Not surprisingly, her career (such as it was) never quite recovered, and Tila was kicked off of the UK’s Celebrity Big Brother over the summer after producers caught wind of her batsh-t Hitler obsession.

Now, Tila – in her own moronic way – is trying to make a point about how she’s been unfairly persecuted for her comments and the ways in which she “remained strong” in the face of her own overwhelming idiocy.

After all, being a parent is all about forcing your own dumb mistakes onto your kids so that they might suffer as you suffered. Oh, and Hitler. Don’t forget about the Hitler.